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Elizabeth: The Golden Age
Nov. 12th, 2007 10:02 amBeing the ill-educated and ignorant galoot that I am I didn't see all that much to complain about, historical-accuracy speaking, in Elizabeth: The Golden Age. However, I went to see it with a historian and after a while her head started to spin around, smoke came from her ears and she began to make a noise like the whistle on a steam engine so I think that anyone with an interest in the events of Tudor times might find one or two minor gripes about the veracity of what is presented on screen as Elizabeth I's life.
For example, this scene - I don't see anything wrong with it, but my chum required a transfusion after a vein in her temple burst whilst watching it:
Walter Raleigh: I 'ave jus' got back from the Americas, yer maj, which will one day become the greatest nation in the world, not 'alf. I 'ave brought you back some gifts, like.
Elizabeth Gosh, Raleigh, you're a bit of all-right aren't you? Why not come to my chambers later?
Raleigh Gor blimey, yer maj, oi'll be wiv yer soon as I've finished knockin' off yer maid. While yer wait, look at there 'ere gifts.
Elizabeth Mmmm! There are *chomp* scrummy! *Chew* *slurp* *burp* What are they called?
Raleigh I calls 'em 'chips', yer majesty.
Elizabeth They shall *scarf* be our new national dish - just like you! (hilarity from the court at the Queen's wit). What else have you got for me?
Raleigh There are these aromatic leaves, madge, which, when the smoke is inhaled, prove most stimulating.
Elizabeth And what are they called?
Raleigh Embassy Superkings, yer maj.
I can't see what anyone with less than a degree in history from a tip-top university could find to dispute in history like that.
As the film goes on, you'll be delighted to see that this story of the Spanish Armada omits the boring, well-known bits of the story like Raligh playing bowls as the Spaniards sail up the channel and Elizabeth's famous Heart and stomach of a King - and a King of England at that! speech (after all, who would want to see an Oscar-winning actress at the height of her powers declaim boring old that when you can see her recite a replacement speech written by the second- and third-best scriptwriters Hollywood has to offer?). Instead these well-known bits of the story are jettisoned to make room for more important and plot-driving events like Elizabeth cuddling someone else's kid to show her despair at not getting any hot whoopee, and Walter Raleigh stealing a box of Milk Tray from the King of Spain and swimming through a burning ocean to deliver it to his Queen standing on the beach in her nightie.
Really, the only way this film could be made any more historically accurate is if Elizabeth kicked the Spanish Ambassador down a well whilst screaming Madness? THIS! IS! BRITANNIA!.
If you're one of those boring, educated people who likes their historical epics to actually resemble history you may not enjoy this film. If, however, you're an ignorant dolt like me you'll find plenty in it for you.
For example, this scene - I don't see anything wrong with it, but my chum required a transfusion after a vein in her temple burst whilst watching it:
Walter Raleigh: I 'ave jus' got back from the Americas, yer maj, which will one day become the greatest nation in the world, not 'alf. I 'ave brought you back some gifts, like.
Elizabeth Gosh, Raleigh, you're a bit of all-right aren't you? Why not come to my chambers later?
Raleigh Gor blimey, yer maj, oi'll be wiv yer soon as I've finished knockin' off yer maid. While yer wait, look at there 'ere gifts.
Elizabeth Mmmm! There are *chomp* scrummy! *Chew* *slurp* *burp* What are they called?
Raleigh I calls 'em 'chips', yer majesty.
Elizabeth They shall *scarf* be our new national dish - just like you! (hilarity from the court at the Queen's wit). What else have you got for me?
Raleigh There are these aromatic leaves, madge, which, when the smoke is inhaled, prove most stimulating.
Elizabeth And what are they called?
Raleigh Embassy Superkings, yer maj.
I can't see what anyone with less than a degree in history from a tip-top university could find to dispute in history like that.
As the film goes on, you'll be delighted to see that this story of the Spanish Armada omits the boring, well-known bits of the story like Raligh playing bowls as the Spaniards sail up the channel and Elizabeth's famous Heart and stomach of a King - and a King of England at that! speech (after all, who would want to see an Oscar-winning actress at the height of her powers declaim boring old that when you can see her recite a replacement speech written by the second- and third-best scriptwriters Hollywood has to offer?). Instead these well-known bits of the story are jettisoned to make room for more important and plot-driving events like Elizabeth cuddling someone else's kid to show her despair at not getting any hot whoopee, and Walter Raleigh stealing a box of Milk Tray from the King of Spain and swimming through a burning ocean to deliver it to his Queen standing on the beach in her nightie.
Really, the only way this film could be made any more historically accurate is if Elizabeth kicked the Spanish Ambassador down a well whilst screaming Madness? THIS! IS! BRITANNIA!.
If you're one of those boring, educated people who likes their historical epics to actually resemble history you may not enjoy this film. If, however, you're an ignorant dolt like me you'll find plenty in it for you.
