Elizabeth: The Golden Age

[davywavy]

Being the ill-educated and ignorant galoot that I am I didn't see all that much to complain about, historical-accuracy speaking, in Elizabeth: The Golden Age. However, I went to see it with a historian and after a while her head started to spin around, smoke came from her ears and she began to make a noise like the whistle on a steam engine so I think that anyone with an interest in the events of Tudor times might find one or two minor gripes about the veracity of what is presented on screen as Elizabeth I's life.
For example, this scene - I don't see anything wrong with it, but my chum required a transfusion after a vein in her temple burst whilst watching it:

Walter Raleigh: I 'ave jus' got back from the Americas, yer maj, which will one day become the greatest nation in the world, not 'alf. I 'ave brought you back some gifts, like.
Elizabeth Gosh, Raleigh, you're a bit of all-right aren't you? Why not come to my chambers later?
Raleigh Gor blimey, yer maj, oi'll be wiv yer soon as I've finished knockin' off yer maid. While yer wait, look at there 'ere gifts.
Elizabeth Mmmm! There are *chomp* scrummy! *Chew* *slurp* *burp* What are they called?
Raleigh I calls 'em 'chips', yer majesty.
Elizabeth They shall *scarf* be our new national dish - just like you! (hilarity from the court at the Queen's wit). What else have you got for me?
Raleigh There are these aromatic leaves, madge, which, when the smoke is inhaled, prove most stimulating.
Elizabeth And what are they called?
Raleigh Embassy Superkings, yer maj.

I can't see what anyone with less than a degree in history from a tip-top university could find to dispute in history like that.
As the film goes on, you'll be delighted to see that this story of the Spanish Armada omits the boring, well-known bits of the story like Raligh playing bowls as the Spaniards sail up the channel and Elizabeth's famous Heart and stomach of a King - and a King of England at that! speech (after all, who would want to see an Oscar-winning actress at the height of her powers declaim boring old that when you can see her recite a replacement speech written by the second- and third-best scriptwriters Hollywood has to offer?). Instead these well-known bits of the story are jettisoned to make room for more important and plot-driving events like Elizabeth cuddling someone else's kid to show her despair at not getting any hot whoopee, and Walter Raleigh stealing a box of Milk Tray from the King of Spain and swimming through a burning ocean to deliver it to his Queen standing on the beach in her nightie.

Really, the only way this film could be made any more historically accurate is if Elizabeth kicked the Spanish Ambassador down a well whilst screaming Madness? THIS! IS! BRITANNIA!.
If you're one of those boring, educated people who likes their historical epics to actually resemble history you may not enjoy this film. If, however, you're an ignorant dolt like me you'll find plenty in it for you.

Comments

[annwfyn.livejournal.com]

Did you just make a deliberate mistake?

You know it was Francis Drake who was playing bowls on Plymouth Hoe, not Raleigh.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Nope - that was my mistake!
It makes a change from the filmmakers making one.

[riksowden.livejournal.com]

Well, there we are - thanks for letting me know i shouldn't bother!

[riksowden.livejournal.com]

Or, in the case of Braveheart, a poo story which is a lot less compelling than historical fact!

"Wasn't there a Bridge at Sterling?"
"Yes, but it made filming difficult"
"Aye, t'English found it so too!"

[madwitch.livejournal.com]

From what I hear, pretty much the only things they've got right in the Golden Age are the names. And that the Spanish Armada turned up at some point or other.

[riksowden.livejournal.com]

...fun!

[madwitch.livejournal.com]

I can't face it. I think the same guy who did this did The Tudors series for TV, which had me twitching in the first 2 minutes as Henry VIII's uncle got murdered by the French.

Leaving me yelling "WHAT UNCLE???" at the TV.

[madwitch.livejournal.com]

It got worse from there. I managed one episode, purely because Jonathan Rhys Meyers was mostly naked for a lot of it, though every time Charles Brandon ran off with the Duke of Buckinghams daughter, I died a little inside.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Actually, no, not even some of the names.

[madwitch.livejournal.com]

Oh dear god, I give up.

[riksowden.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure she was born, but was about 4/5 and in France when Wallis was executed (after being handed over by the Scots)...

...its a deeply wrong film in a lot of ways!

[riksowden.livejournal.com]

It has MG not doing his native Aussie (now Califossie) accent...so deeply so!

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

It's the best historical epic since John Wayne played Genghis Khan.

[riksowden.livejournal.com]

...i loved that film.

"Get offa yer horse and walk thru th' desert like a man.."

Re: See i've been told watching this may cause me a hernia.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I still have marks in my arm from where my companion sank her nails into me during the scene where Raleigh and Liz snog.

[sesquipedality.livejournal.com]

I think those compelling posters of the Queen of England in *plate mail* may have clued a few people in to the fact that historical accuracy might not have been at the top of anyone's list of priorities.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

It just made me think they must have got Elizabeth I confused with Ce'Nedra in David Eddings' Belgariad.
I mean, what's one queen or another, eh?

[janewilliams20.livejournal.com]

I'd had a friend show me that picture in another context entirely, and it had never occured to me that it was anything to do with Elizabeth. I'd assumed it was some fantasy film or other, since that was the context of the discussion. Looks like I was right :(

[janewilliams20.livejournal.com]

Wikipedia gives a list of the changes from history. It's a long list.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elizabeth:_The_Golden_Age

Re: They what!

[(Anonymous)]

Did they leave the bit in where Walter Raleigh is revealled to be a Ninja?

Re: They what!

[(Anonymous)]

Wasnt there a Jesuit ninja in the first one?

DOD

[colonel-maxim.livejournal.com]

After 'incidents' during the viewing of the first film, I have been told that I can only watch this one if there is at least one chair clear in all directions from me in the cinema so the explosion will only cause minor damage.