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Dolier than thou
Mar. 25th, 2008 09:38 amA long time ago now, I spent a couple of years unemployed and signing on. Naturally, I thought this was outrageous - there I was with a second-class social sciences degree from a former polytechnic and I hadn't had a haircut in five years, and nobody wanted to give me a job! Clearly this was a case of The Man conspiring to keep me down.
As life experiences go, it wasn't a bad one. I got my dole money and my housing benefit and as a dandy young goth-about-town my expenses were few and budgeting was fairly simple - a third of my money on food and household stuff, a third on going out and a third on cosmetics and hair-care products.
Sensibly enough I went to work at a local hospital as a volunteer and they gave me a free lunch every day I worked there which reduced my costs quite a lot, and so after about 18 months of strict spending restrictions I'd saved up enough to take a nice holiday before I finally got a job.
This is one of those life experiences I refer back to whenever I'm feeling a bit skint and I think I learned a lot from it. It certainly sprang to mind a few years ago when I read this article, in which the imbecilic Michael Winner attempts to live on £8 a day for two day, which is what apparently the State pension comes to these days. As he goes out and spends £8 a day and then whines that he can't afford much, I was seized by an overwhelming urge to grab the fat oaf by the lapels and shout "No! No, you grotesque dolt! You buy in advance! In bulk! Bulk! look at the size of you! Surely the word 'Bulk' means something to you, you great sack of crap!"
Over the years I've set up a precedent for giving up stupid things for lent and this year something got me thinking about Winner's drooling, bovine article and I decided to live on the equivalent of the dole for six weeks. Why? Because I do stupid stuff to see what it's like, that's why. Also because I was interested in a few things - firstly whether I have the willpower to do something I did through necessity some years ago, and two to find out for myself just how generous - or not - the government is to the unfortunate. After all, I can hardly comment if I don't understand, can I?
In order to carry out the grand dole experiment whilst still working, I had to make a few assumptions and set a few rules. These were:
1) That I found myself living on jobseekers allowance (£59.15 pw) unexpectedly and had no savings, assets or credit facility that would allow me to stretch my finances. I had only that amount to live on.
2) That housing benefit would be paying my rent, but not my bills.
3) That I wasn't allowed to stockpile before I started. It was a huge temptation to go out the day before and fill the cupboards, but I based my weekly shopping on previous receipts to ensure I didn't buy in advance. That would be cheating on rule 1.
4) That travel to work didn't count. If I were actually unemployed my work travel costs wouldn't exist.
5) That my usual 'I'm not going to be a tit about this' rule applied - a couple of friends had birthdays during Lent and buying presents for them didn't count. Just because I'm being cheap to myself doesn't mean I should be to other people.
6) My planned trip to Manchester was pre-booked and paid for so I would be taking it. Essentially, this was one weekend off the experiment during it's duration.
7) The first thing to do in this situation is set budgets and keep to them so I allocated £30 a week for food and household goods, £10 a week set-aside for a bills budget, and the remainder as spending money. Once the spending money was gone, it was gone - so an unexpected trip to see Sweeney Todd in the first week cleared me of an entire week's budget. A valuable learning lesson.
At the end of the experiment, the first thing that is clear is that I've eaten better in the last few weeks than I have in years. I've consumed far less booze and processed sugars and far more fruit, vegetables and complex carbohydrates. Moreover, after six weeks of strict budgeting I had a fair float - about a weeks money - left over at the end.
What's clear from my experiment is that jobseekers allowance (just call it dole and have done, you rebranding dolts) is enough to live on - in fact, I lived quite well. I still shopped at Borough Market and my quality of life was probably improved by the unavailability of impulse purchases. What's also clear is that firstly it's not much fun (but I doubt it's supposed to be), and secondly without strict budgeting there's no insulation against shocks. It's a depressing thought that if the washing machine had gone bang it would have been more affordable in the short term to buy a new one on easy credit terms than it would have been to get someone to come out and fix it, even though the latter option is cheaper in the long-term.
To my dismay, I discover that home economics classes - and attendant lessons in budgeting a household - are no longer run in schools, and this strikes me as a bloody stupid false economy. I have an advantage in that I'm a cheapskate at the best of times so budgeting is easy. If you're not, or have no idea really how to start and how to calculate percentages, you could well be screwed without even realising it.
So - conclusion to leaving cheaply for six weeks?
1) It's do-able but the lack of insulation against financial shocks is concerning. Given the decline in educational standards and a lack of teaching how to manage budgets, percentages and households it's no wonder people get into financial trouble. This is not an argument for raising the benefits, but it is an argument for raising the taxable thresholds on earned low incomes, citizens basic income and better education based on what people actually do rather than examination league tables.
2) I've saved loads of money I would otherwise have spent on crap, which means I can afford to buy some more rainforest from these people. My stupid Lenten experiments will pay for monkeys and sundry other jungle inhabitants not to have their homes cut down. I bet the selfish gits don't even write.
With that, I'm off to peddle my shapely derriere at a trade show in Manchester for the week. i'll be at Jillys on thursday and Ara on Friday if any of you funktakular kids will be coming out to play too.
As life experiences go, it wasn't a bad one. I got my dole money and my housing benefit and as a dandy young goth-about-town my expenses were few and budgeting was fairly simple - a third of my money on food and household stuff, a third on going out and a third on cosmetics and hair-care products.
Sensibly enough I went to work at a local hospital as a volunteer and they gave me a free lunch every day I worked there which reduced my costs quite a lot, and so after about 18 months of strict spending restrictions I'd saved up enough to take a nice holiday before I finally got a job.
This is one of those life experiences I refer back to whenever I'm feeling a bit skint and I think I learned a lot from it. It certainly sprang to mind a few years ago when I read this article, in which the imbecilic Michael Winner attempts to live on £8 a day for two day, which is what apparently the State pension comes to these days. As he goes out and spends £8 a day and then whines that he can't afford much, I was seized by an overwhelming urge to grab the fat oaf by the lapels and shout "No! No, you grotesque dolt! You buy in advance! In bulk! Bulk! look at the size of you! Surely the word 'Bulk' means something to you, you great sack of crap!"
Over the years I've set up a precedent for giving up stupid things for lent and this year something got me thinking about Winner's drooling, bovine article and I decided to live on the equivalent of the dole for six weeks. Why? Because I do stupid stuff to see what it's like, that's why. Also because I was interested in a few things - firstly whether I have the willpower to do something I did through necessity some years ago, and two to find out for myself just how generous - or not - the government is to the unfortunate. After all, I can hardly comment if I don't understand, can I?
In order to carry out the grand dole experiment whilst still working, I had to make a few assumptions and set a few rules. These were:
1) That I found myself living on jobseekers allowance (£59.15 pw) unexpectedly and had no savings, assets or credit facility that would allow me to stretch my finances. I had only that amount to live on.
2) That housing benefit would be paying my rent, but not my bills.
3) That I wasn't allowed to stockpile before I started. It was a huge temptation to go out the day before and fill the cupboards, but I based my weekly shopping on previous receipts to ensure I didn't buy in advance. That would be cheating on rule 1.
4) That travel to work didn't count. If I were actually unemployed my work travel costs wouldn't exist.
5) That my usual 'I'm not going to be a tit about this' rule applied - a couple of friends had birthdays during Lent and buying presents for them didn't count. Just because I'm being cheap to myself doesn't mean I should be to other people.
6) My planned trip to Manchester was pre-booked and paid for so I would be taking it. Essentially, this was one weekend off the experiment during it's duration.
7) The first thing to do in this situation is set budgets and keep to them so I allocated £30 a week for food and household goods, £10 a week set-aside for a bills budget, and the remainder as spending money. Once the spending money was gone, it was gone - so an unexpected trip to see Sweeney Todd in the first week cleared me of an entire week's budget. A valuable learning lesson.
At the end of the experiment, the first thing that is clear is that I've eaten better in the last few weeks than I have in years. I've consumed far less booze and processed sugars and far more fruit, vegetables and complex carbohydrates. Moreover, after six weeks of strict budgeting I had a fair float - about a weeks money - left over at the end.
What's clear from my experiment is that jobseekers allowance (just call it dole and have done, you rebranding dolts) is enough to live on - in fact, I lived quite well. I still shopped at Borough Market and my quality of life was probably improved by the unavailability of impulse purchases. What's also clear is that firstly it's not much fun (but I doubt it's supposed to be), and secondly without strict budgeting there's no insulation against shocks. It's a depressing thought that if the washing machine had gone bang it would have been more affordable in the short term to buy a new one on easy credit terms than it would have been to get someone to come out and fix it, even though the latter option is cheaper in the long-term.
To my dismay, I discover that home economics classes - and attendant lessons in budgeting a household - are no longer run in schools, and this strikes me as a bloody stupid false economy. I have an advantage in that I'm a cheapskate at the best of times so budgeting is easy. If you're not, or have no idea really how to start and how to calculate percentages, you could well be screwed without even realising it.
So - conclusion to leaving cheaply for six weeks?
1) It's do-able but the lack of insulation against financial shocks is concerning. Given the decline in educational standards and a lack of teaching how to manage budgets, percentages and households it's no wonder people get into financial trouble. This is not an argument for raising the benefits, but it is an argument for raising the taxable thresholds on earned low incomes, citizens basic income and better education based on what people actually do rather than examination league tables.
2) I've saved loads of money I would otherwise have spent on crap, which means I can afford to buy some more rainforest from these people. My stupid Lenten experiments will pay for monkeys and sundry other jungle inhabitants not to have their homes cut down. I bet the selfish gits don't even write.
With that, I'm off to peddle my shapely derriere at a trade show in Manchester for the week. i'll be at Jillys on thursday and Ara on Friday if any of you funktakular kids will be coming out to play too.
