Dolier than thou

[davywavy]

A long time ago now, I spent a couple of years unemployed and signing on. Naturally, I thought this was outrageous - there I was with a second-class social sciences degree from a former polytechnic and I hadn't had a haircut in five years, and nobody wanted to give me a job! Clearly this was a case of The Man conspiring to keep me down.
As life experiences go, it wasn't a bad one. I got my dole money and my housing benefit and as a dandy young goth-about-town my expenses were few and budgeting was fairly simple - a third of my money on food and household stuff, a third on going out and a third on cosmetics and hair-care products.
Sensibly enough I went to work at a local hospital as a volunteer and they gave me a free lunch every day I worked there which reduced my costs quite a lot, and so after about 18 months of strict spending restrictions I'd saved up enough to take a nice holiday before I finally got a job.
This is one of those life experiences I refer back to whenever I'm feeling a bit skint and I think I learned a lot from it. It certainly sprang to mind a few years ago when I read this article, in which the imbecilic Michael Winner attempts to live on £8 a day for two day, which is what apparently the State pension comes to these days. As he goes out and spends £8 a day and then whines that he can't afford much, I was seized by an overwhelming urge to grab the fat oaf by the lapels and shout "No! No, you grotesque dolt! You buy in advance! In bulk! Bulk! look at the size of you! Surely the word 'Bulk' means something to you, you great sack of crap!"

Over the years I've set up a precedent for giving up stupid things for lent and this year something got me thinking about Winner's drooling, bovine article and I decided to live on the equivalent of the dole for six weeks. Why? Because I do stupid stuff to see what it's like, that's why. Also because I was interested in a few things - firstly whether I have the willpower to do something I did through necessity some years ago, and two to find out for myself just how generous - or not - the government is to the unfortunate. After all, I can hardly comment if I don't understand, can I?
In order to carry out the grand dole experiment whilst still working, I had to make a few assumptions and set a few rules. These were:
1) That I found myself living on jobseekers allowance (£59.15 pw) unexpectedly and had no savings, assets or credit facility that would allow me to stretch my finances. I had only that amount to live on.
2) That housing benefit would be paying my rent, but not my bills.
3) That I wasn't allowed to stockpile before I started. It was a huge temptation to go out the day before and fill the cupboards, but I based my weekly shopping on previous receipts to ensure I didn't buy in advance. That would be cheating on rule 1.
4) That travel to work didn't count. If I were actually unemployed my work travel costs wouldn't exist.
5) That my usual 'I'm not going to be a tit about this' rule applied - a couple of friends had birthdays during Lent and buying presents for them didn't count. Just because I'm being cheap to myself doesn't mean I should be to other people.
6) My planned trip to Manchester was pre-booked and paid for so I would be taking it. Essentially, this was one weekend off the experiment during it's duration.
7) The first thing to do in this situation is set budgets and keep to them so I allocated £30 a week for food and household goods, £10 a week set-aside for a bills budget, and the remainder as spending money. Once the spending money was gone, it was gone - so an unexpected trip to see Sweeney Todd in the first week cleared me of an entire week's budget. A valuable learning lesson.

At the end of the experiment, the first thing that is clear is that I've eaten better in the last few weeks than I have in years. I've consumed far less booze and processed sugars and far more fruit, vegetables and complex carbohydrates. Moreover, after six weeks of strict budgeting I had a fair float - about a weeks money - left over at the end.
What's clear from my experiment is that jobseekers allowance (just call it dole and have done, you rebranding dolts) is enough to live on - in fact, I lived quite well. I still shopped at Borough Market and my quality of life was probably improved by the unavailability of impulse purchases. What's also clear is that firstly it's not much fun (but I doubt it's supposed to be), and secondly without strict budgeting there's no insulation against shocks. It's a depressing thought that if the washing machine had gone bang it would have been more affordable in the short term to buy a new one on easy credit terms than it would have been to get someone to come out and fix it, even though the latter option is cheaper in the long-term.
To my dismay, I discover that home economics classes - and attendant lessons in budgeting a household - are no longer run in schools, and this strikes me as a bloody stupid false economy. I have an advantage in that I'm a cheapskate at the best of times so budgeting is easy. If you're not, or have no idea really how to start and how to calculate percentages, you could well be screwed without even realising it.
So - conclusion to leaving cheaply for six weeks?
1) It's do-able but the lack of insulation against financial shocks is concerning. Given the decline in educational standards and a lack of teaching how to manage budgets, percentages and households it's no wonder people get into financial trouble. This is not an argument for raising the benefits, but it is an argument for raising the taxable thresholds on earned low incomes, citizens basic income and better education based on what people actually do rather than examination league tables.
2) I've saved loads of money I would otherwise have spent on crap, which means I can afford to buy some more rainforest from these people. My stupid Lenten experiments will pay for monkeys and sundry other jungle inhabitants not to have their homes cut down. I bet the selfish gits don't even write.

With that, I'm off to peddle my shapely derriere at a trade show in Manchester for the week. i'll be at Jillys on thursday and Ara on Friday if any of you funktakular kids will be coming out to play too.

Comments

[medusa-nw.livejournal.com]

Well done sir! I think a few more of us could stand to do this. Though I'm fairly certain none of us will. ;-)

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

What's interesting is the setting of household budgets and setting aside loot for bills works really well. I'll probably continue doing it.

[medusa-nw.livejournal.com]

I do it to a certain extent, a few months ago I massively overspent during a holiday, which left me with less than £100 to live off for 14 days after. I managed to cope perfectly well, especially as I got around most of my transport costs by cycling to and from work.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

My cheapest ever was my third term at university - after clearing my rent for the term I had precisely £200 left for 10 weeks with no hope of either the bank or my parents giving me more.
So, naturally, the first weekend I blew £100 of it.

I lived for 10 weeks on £10 a week. A fine lesson.

[medusa-nw.livejournal.com]

Ouch... What year was that?

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

1990. Tough then, and probably not possible now.

[medusa-nw.livejournal.com]

When I first moved to the UK in 1989 I worked in a hotel and earned £550 per month after tax. £350 of that went on rent, the rest was for everything else. But even that wasn't too bad as I lived in zone 1 so a weekly travelcard came to about £10 (and I didn't stray outside zone 1 much), and when I was at work I'd get at least one meal there. Still, that's luxury compared to your £10 per week! :-)

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I was lucky - 1990 was the year that McDonalds ran their Trivial Pursuit no purchase necessary scratchcard promotion. I would just walk into branches and ask for cards, and then go and look up the answers in the University library.
So I lived on a lot of McDonalds nosh for 3 months. When Morgan Spurlock did that, he made millions. When I did it I got acne, but at least I didn't starve.

[medusa-nw.livejournal.com]

Ah, crafty! And now I fancy a burger... :-)

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

But not McDonalds, please...

[medusa-nw.livejournal.com]

No, thankfully there isn't one near my work, I'll go to the nice Italian cafe down the road.

[vulgarcriminal.livejournal.com]

McDonald's Monopoly and 99c Whoppers for me!

[annwfyn.livejournal.com]

My experience of living on the dole was that it was a bit of a nightmare but that was because I started off with 200 quid's worth of credit card repayment bills, which devoured pretty much all of it. I think that's maybe the problem. If you just have to buy food and bills for a small and reasonable house most people would be OK.

If you lose your job whilst in a situation where you have debts already, and gym membership that you can't cancel, and bills for your house which are large and can't be cut down, and then the boiler goes, it must become much scarier.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I agree; like I say, there's no insulation for shocks like that. That's why Ithe experiment could only work if I assumed I didn't have any savings, as otherwise I wouldn't have had to make any changes.

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

Well done ol' bean! Not an easy thing to do; the lure of money is to spend spend spend it!

[fionnghuala.livejournal.com]

I think it's the lack of flexibility that really makes it difficult. And the more time that passes, the more likely it is that something or other will come along and be an unavoidable cost.

And similarly, the more time that passes the more difficult it is to avoid spontaneous trips out with friends, blowing a load of cash on a special present for someone that means a lot to you, or travel to visit relatives, etc.

And don't forget that housing benefit meeting all your rent payments is not very accurate - even if you are theoretically entitled to the full amount, I believe the policy is to give a token amount to come out of spending money; something in the region of £5 - £10 per week, which is quite a chunk out of benefit.

And for more realism, both dole and housing benefit will probably take several weeks to process, meaning you're already in a difficult financial situation when the money arrives. Especially if you've made an 'error' yourself, like waiting till your redundancy money runs out before seeking benefit, when they will insert an intentional delay into the process.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I don't think it's possible for me to completely accurately model the experience of living on JA without actually doing so, hence the conditions I set to model it as closely and as fairly as I could.

I wasn't aware of the new restrictions on Housing Benefit - whenever I've signed on I've had the full amount paid and it doesn't mention the policy you refer to on the benefits website, which was what I based my assumptions on. The big change on there is that rent inclusive bills which used to be coverred by HA when I was a doley dosser aren't any more, hence the addition of a bills section to my budget.

As for the temptation to blow a wad of cash, it is there and is to be resisted which is why I suggestion household budgeting lessons should be reintroduced to the curriculum - they were on when I was at school, and jolly handy they were too when I had to learn to fend for myself.
Overall, though, people aren't supposed to be on JA for long. The idea is to push people back into paid employment and as such it's an OK structure for doing so. Not as good as the options I list above are, but that's what you get when the monkeys I saved in that jungle get themselves elected to givernment.

[twicedead.livejournal.com]

Dear David,

Thank-you for saving my section of rainforest. I have been finally able to return home after spending two years with an infinite number of my co-workers in a typing pool trying to produce the complete works of Shakespeare.

The area you have saved for myself and my family in in excellent condition, though we would like your agreement to install a Sky dish so we can watch episodes of Lost. Without access to over 100 channels we would almost certainly revert to our natural occupation of burning down the rainforest and selling our land to developers.

Also, the washing machine in broken, can you please get someone to fix it. We're on the dole and cannot afford this.

Thanks,
A Finite Monkey

P.S. Incidentally, I was the only monkey there who actually could recite the complete works of Shakespeare, adieu, adieu, adieu.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

After due consideration, I realsie that despite being a Cammie, you're not a Monkey. Your subterfuge cannot fool perspicatious Davy!

Michael Cunting Winter

[vulgarcriminal.livejournal.com]

Fills me with a firey rage. Why the fuck does that little twat get work? WHY GOD WHY? And how is it some washed up slasher director is an authority on anything? Private Eye had a great thing where the little bastard ate himself alive.

I loved it. A large part of me hoped it was true. ARGHAKGHADKHGKAH!!!

Re: Michael Cunting Winter

[vulgarcriminal.livejournal.com]

Winner even.

Re: Michael Cunting Winter

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

He's a fat, opinionated oaf who serves no discernable purpose but is paid a huge sum of money.

It's like he mapped out my career path for me.

[akcipitrokulo.livejournal.com]

I think that's the best doing something for lent idea that I've heard of for a long time - especially that the monkeys benefitted at teh end! Nice one :)

[thegreenman.livejournal.com]

We've kind of been moving to that lifestyle for a while now since we moved away from the madness of the Thames Valley and started working ouir own land.

After a while you get into a habit of doing for yourself and it comes as a kind of pleasant shock that the weekly grocery bill has dropped a lot and that you are eating your own bread, your own soup made with veg from the garden, drinking your own beer and cider, eating your own pickles/jams/marmalade/cake/biscuits/eggs.

Even just buying staples and doing your own processing cuts the food bills enormously and is better for you. (and it's fun)

Couldn't agree more about Domestic Sciences. Removing this from school curricula was a gross betrayal of the nations youth.

What's worse is seeing what people like Nigella offer up on the telly as "cooking", even Delia seems to have jumped on the Open-A-Few-Supermarket-Packets style of culinary.

At least Jamie Oliver hasn't sold out.

[(Anonymous)]

Need some elevated blood pressure? http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=541598&in_page_id=1770

Lazy rabble rousing journalism

[(Anonymous)]

Don't get me wrong, I've no truck with the feckless, but for so many people to specify that it is their 'right' to live on benefits smacks to me of cynical journalists asking very leading questions, with the intent of making political weather against the 'benefits culture'

Whilst I don't defend that 'culture' as it clearly destroys those it purports to 'care' for, it needs more a more mature approach than this.

Re: Lazy rabble rousing journalism

[vulgarcriminal.livejournal.com]

Oh man, I totally got the same impression you did. I can't imagine anyone saying unprompted, 'I got a right to live on benefits.' What I think happened was the 'journalist' said 'So, would you say you have a right to live on benefits then? Would you say that? Really? So you say you have a right to live on benefits?'

Re: Lazy rabble rousing journalism

[(Anonymous)]

Well, quite. It destroys the credibility of a very valid point. The 'pretending to agree with someone you disagree with, in such a fashion as to make people associate his arguments with your moronic pedantry' approach, for want of a better term.

[applez.livejournal.com]

They (http://www.worldlandtrust.org/) may be David Attenborough-approved, but the New Scientist's latest issue suggested bribery could be the path to salvation. ;-)

[rhythmaning.livejournal.com]

That was really interesting. I'm very impressed that you stuck to it: I don't think I could.

And I'm glad you bought some rain forest with your savings!

I'll bet Easter was good...

[ddraiggwyrdd.livejournal.com]

From experience of my own and that of my daughter now going through this in London the problem is this. I budgeted down to the last penny, so does she. Then the following things happen to screw up your life. The housing benefit people decide you have been overpaid for some vague reason which you can't argue with but on investigation it turns out that a clerk in the office hasn't processed a series of forms going back six months. Consequently you not only have no benefit, they decide to take back money they gave you and you received in good faith. This happens in one shape or another on a fairly regular basis. Then the Bank ( which bank doesn't matter) takes out a direct debit two weeks early or twice accidentally or doesn't add in a payment until a week after it should. You see, in your experiment you had direct control of your finances and did not have to rely on any outside body. I had a long argument with a council tax clerk recently trying to explain to him why I WILL NOT try to claim any benefit he thinks I am entitled to because at the end of the day experience has shown me I will be worse off. I claim carers allownce for my son - which took two years- child tax credits, of which I am currently paying back £48 a month on an overpayment, and Council tax benefit because I have care of a disabled child. In my situation I could apply for more, but I know being reliant on other people to do their jobs in order for you to keep afloat is too risky and only leads to anger and frustration and puts you deeper in debt.

Well said

[(Anonymous)]

Damn right. Problem is, if I get crappy service in a shop, or pretty well anywhere I can choose not to go again, I have a way out - I don't go there again. With unsackable politicos, they really have absolutely no motivation to up their game, and they don't. No surprise. Like you, I aviod these unneccessary vermin like teh proverbial.

[(Anonymous)]

Um, did you do this alone? (He asked him knowingly).

[(Anonymous)]

Of course he did! Mighty David needs no help when he undertakes such deeds! Right, Mighty David?

[(Anonymous)]

I think you already know the answer to this one

H

[(Anonymous)]

Why no, pray tell!