I'm spotting a pattern here.

Long term readers might recall that I have occasionally mentioned ukmonty and his heroic consumption of booze. I don't think I've ever been critical - my comments have more more in the style of awe in the presence of a master, as a novice monk would feel sitting at the feet of the Buddha.
However, in posts and stories like;
The Monty doomsday sweepstake,
The Monty of Monte Cristo",
I was Monty's double,
A case for Inspector Monty,
Filter Tipps and Alastair,
The portrait of UKmonty,
Around the world in sort of eighty-ish days,
Lasht Train
and
The Wining,
I think that people might have seen that there's something of a theme in my associations with Monty.

Now, some nay-sayers and body fascists suggest that enthusiastic boozing can affect the health. Nonsense, say I! Why, I have the body of a man ten years younger than me - primarily due to pickling - but sometimes I stop to wonder...what if? Could alcohol damage the internal organs? And if so, does science hold the answer?

The Six Million-Dollar Liver
The science conference floor fell into a hushed silence as Dr. David stepped up to the podium. Rumours of his work has been swirling around the scientific community for weeks and many distinguished researchers and commentators had come along especially for his presentation. At the touch of a button, the overhead screen above him flickered to life and showed and man in profile and in section.
"Monty", said Dr. David. "A man whose liver is barely alive."
The audience nodded. They could see that just by looking.
"Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to build the world's first bionic liver. Monty will be that man. Better than he was before. Better, stronger, faster. The first six-million-dollar liver."
A voice called from the conference floor. "But, why?"
David frowned. "Because we can, gentlemen".
A hubbub arose from the audience. "That's fair enough" "Sounds reasonable to me" "That's science, all right".

Two months later.

The General looked up from the screen as Dr. David entered the war room. "Two weeks ago", he said, "Russian forces crossed the German border in force, catching us completely unprepared. As a last-ditch hope, we inserted your 'Monty' into the front lines, where he challenged the entire Red Army to a drinking competition." He gestured at the screen. "This is the latest footage."
On the screen, shaky handheld video footage showed Monty sitting in front of a pile of slumped Russians. As they watched, Monty lifted a glass to his lips, in slow motion with a k-k-k-k-k-k noise.
The General continued. "In the last two weeks, this Monty guy has consumed over 300 gallons of neat vodka, and drunk five mechanised divisions under the table. Doc, I've got to hand it to you - your 'six-million-dollar liver' may well have saved civilisation!"
Dr. David looked confused. "I don't know what you're talking about", he said. "I haven't carried out the operation yet."

The End.