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[Political allegory] Gordon Brown, barman
Aug. 12th, 2008 09:40 amA man walks into a pub...
Man: Afternoon, squire. A pint of Stella, please.
Gordon Brown, barman: Your message is both clear and unequivocal, and I'd like to tell you that I am taking all necessary steps to ensure delivery of your pint of bitter at the earliest opportunity.
Man: Nah, mate, nah. Stella. Pint of Stella, please.
Gordon Brown, barman: I'm both listening an understanding your concerns. I know that you are facing difficult times and your pint of bitter is of the utmost importance to you, but I think that you should be reassured that your pint of bitter is of the utmost importnance to me as well.
Man: Nah. Stella. Lager. S-T-E-L-L-A. A pint thereof. And be quick about it, eh?
Gordon Brown, barman: I'm aware that the previous barman made promises to you about your pint. Promises which, ultimately, you were let down on. Now what I think you want is for me to get on with the important job of serving at this bar, and that is what I have the fullest intention of doing.
Man: Well, that's grand. Can I have my pint, then?
Gordon Brown, barman: Pint delivery is a long and complex process which involves decisions taken at the highest levels, and this can take some time. However, the processes are in place to ensure that the pint-deprived people in this bar recieve the best quality pint in the shortest possible time.
Man: Oh, for God's sake. Just. Give. Me. My. Pint.
Gordon Brown, barman: I think you'll agree that I am the best-placed person to ensure prompt and cost-effective allocation of pints and your pint, which I'm aware is an issue close to your heart, is the most important issue I am currently working on. I'm asking for your understanding and patience whilst I work to bring more effective pint-delivery processes online.
Man: Look, the pump is directly in front of you. Just pull the bastard, will you?
Gordon Brown, barman: Until your pint is prepared, I'm giving you this glass of Port and Lemon as an interim measure, on the house.
Man: You just took that off my wife!
Gordon Brown, barman: Until your pint of bitter is ready, I'm prepared to make the unprecedented step of redistributing Port and Lemon to the most needy members of society.
Man: Look, mate. I've been polite. I've asked nicely. I just want a pint of Stella, and I want you to stop taking my wife's drink off her every time she tries to take a sip.
Gordon Brown, barman: It is my job to provide pints of bitter to you, and that's what I'm striving to do if you will bear with me during the process. I am hearing your concerns about your difficulties and, once again, I'd like to offer you my sincere reassurance that I am working as hard as I can to pull your pint of bitter.
Man: Sod this, I'm off to the Thatchers Arms down the road.
Man: Afternoon, squire. A pint of Stella, please.
Gordon Brown, barman: Your message is both clear and unequivocal, and I'd like to tell you that I am taking all necessary steps to ensure delivery of your pint of bitter at the earliest opportunity.
Man: Nah, mate, nah. Stella. Pint of Stella, please.
Gordon Brown, barman: I'm both listening an understanding your concerns. I know that you are facing difficult times and your pint of bitter is of the utmost importance to you, but I think that you should be reassured that your pint of bitter is of the utmost importnance to me as well.
Man: Nah. Stella. Lager. S-T-E-L-L-A. A pint thereof. And be quick about it, eh?
Gordon Brown, barman: I'm aware that the previous barman made promises to you about your pint. Promises which, ultimately, you were let down on. Now what I think you want is for me to get on with the important job of serving at this bar, and that is what I have the fullest intention of doing.
Man: Well, that's grand. Can I have my pint, then?
Gordon Brown, barman: Pint delivery is a long and complex process which involves decisions taken at the highest levels, and this can take some time. However, the processes are in place to ensure that the pint-deprived people in this bar recieve the best quality pint in the shortest possible time.
Man: Oh, for God's sake. Just. Give. Me. My. Pint.
Gordon Brown, barman: I think you'll agree that I am the best-placed person to ensure prompt and cost-effective allocation of pints and your pint, which I'm aware is an issue close to your heart, is the most important issue I am currently working on. I'm asking for your understanding and patience whilst I work to bring more effective pint-delivery processes online.
Man: Look, the pump is directly in front of you. Just pull the bastard, will you?
Gordon Brown, barman: Until your pint is prepared, I'm giving you this glass of Port and Lemon as an interim measure, on the house.
Man: You just took that off my wife!
Gordon Brown, barman: Until your pint of bitter is ready, I'm prepared to make the unprecedented step of redistributing Port and Lemon to the most needy members of society.
Man: Look, mate. I've been polite. I've asked nicely. I just want a pint of Stella, and I want you to stop taking my wife's drink off her every time she tries to take a sip.
Gordon Brown, barman: It is my job to provide pints of bitter to you, and that's what I'm striving to do if you will bear with me during the process. I am hearing your concerns about your difficulties and, once again, I'd like to offer you my sincere reassurance that I am working as hard as I can to pull your pint of bitter.
Man: Sod this, I'm off to the Thatchers Arms down the road.
