You invent me a thingummybob

It was possibly the most famous challenge of the last hundred years. Some of the greatest minds of the 20th century spent literally years on it but failed every single time to find a solution, instead eventually descending into backbiting, petty recrimination and sotto voce swearing.

So, to open up the new year, I shall pose the challenge to you lot: How would you stop that pigeon? Would you nab him or grab him? Stab him, perhaps? Or maybe even jab him?

Prizes may be* awarded for the best solution.

^*Won't.