Bring me flesh and bring me wine

One of my happiest memories as a child was waking up one wintry morning and finding that several inches of snow had unexpectedly fallen overnight, meaning that school was closed. I know that those of you who live in famously snowy places like Seattle might not find this so unusual, but it's a rare enough event in this country as to be worth remembering. I got to spend a few days making snowmen and skating on a frozen pond rather than having so-called knowledge rammed into my uncaring brain and it was ace.
Something similar happened on Monday morning; eight inches of snow over London. I trudged to the station to go to work on the off-chance that the trains might be running, but to my barely-disguised joy and the apparent chagrin of the other commuters the trains were cancelled.
So I went home and built a snowman. It was the best day of work I've had in some time.

Of course, the trains were running on Tuesday so I had no excuse and had to come to the office. However, the weather forecast was ambiguous for Thursday and Friday; predictions varied from some light rain to eight inches more snow and everything in between, so as you might imagine I spent the rest of the week with my fingrs firmly crossed that the heavens would open and deposit a huge load of snowy chaos over the capital.
Alas, it wasn't to be.
So I find myself in work, wishing I could have skived off work again today, like the postmen still are doing. Wishing so much, in fact, that I think I feel a song coming on!

To the tune of Orville's Song, by Keith Harris and Orville.

I wish I could skive
But I've got too much drive,
So I can’t,
(You can)
I can’t!

I wish I could stay
Tucked into my bed all day
But I can’t,
(You can)
I can’t!

(Now, David.)
Yes?
(You work for yourself, you arsehole)
Do I?
(You do)
Oh, right.


I wish that I worked in the public sector
But I don’t,
(You don’t?)
I don’t!
Instead I'm a dynamic director,
So I can't
(You can!)
I can't

(Look, David)
Yes?
(Now that I’m here with you,
There’s nothing that you can’t do,
So why don’t you make a start
And hear what I’m saying, David?)
Yes?
(You'll only be poor if you shirk)
I will
(So shut up and get back to work)
Oh.