Uuuuuuuuuuulaaaaaa
May. 18th, 2011 10:44 amReading popular pop-science science publication New Scientist yesterday, my eye alighted upon the news that they're running a competition to win a piece of Martian Rock. My immediate thought was that this is something young martians get at the seaside, but I was initially disappointed; it is in fact a tiny chunk (1cm3-ish) of meteorite which was expelled by Mars during some ancient cataclysm and spent a fair amount of time floating round the solar system before falling to Earth and as a result it is incredibly rare. Furthermore, a bit of investigation tells me that mars rock sells for in excess of US$100,000 a pound, making it one of the more valuable substances on Earth and so this is a surprisingly cool prize. Ancient alien rock which is worth a wad of loot? What's not to like?
Anyway, the competition is to come up with suggestions for the first words which should be spoken by the first person to set foot upon the planet Mars. Of course, for elegance's sake the first person on Mars should be Gene Hunt who would open mankind's residence by informing the Martians that they're all bastards and nicked, but thanks to the insanity of touchy-feely political correctness that's unlikely. In the event of us getting to Mars, it'll probably be something inane and workshopped like "We come in peace to this new frontier for all mankind"*, or something similarly wussified.
With a competition like this, I'm going to be going up against lots of people who are:
A) Cleverer than me,
b) More dedicated than me, and perhaps most importantly
c) Significantly geekier than me
and that means I haven't got a chance of winning. But why not have a go anyway? Here's a few initial thoughts:
"The chances of anything coming from Earth were a million to one, they said. But still, we came."
"Aiiieeee!!"
"*Sniff*. Good. There is air on this planet."
"I claim this Mars in the name of Grand Fenwick."
"What do you mean, 'Acid for blood'?"
Any more suggestions?
*And the shooting will start ten minutes later.
Anyway, the competition is to come up with suggestions for the first words which should be spoken by the first person to set foot upon the planet Mars. Of course, for elegance's sake the first person on Mars should be Gene Hunt who would open mankind's residence by informing the Martians that they're all bastards and nicked, but thanks to the insanity of touchy-feely political correctness that's unlikely. In the event of us getting to Mars, it'll probably be something inane and workshopped like "We come in peace to this new frontier for all mankind"*, or something similarly wussified.
With a competition like this, I'm going to be going up against lots of people who are:
A) Cleverer than me,
b) More dedicated than me, and perhaps most importantly
c) Significantly geekier than me
and that means I haven't got a chance of winning. But why not have a go anyway? Here's a few initial thoughts:
"The chances of anything coming from Earth were a million to one, they said. But still, we came."
"Aiiieeee!!"
"*Sniff*. Good. There is air on this planet."
"I claim this Mars in the name of Grand Fenwick."
"What do you mean, 'Acid for blood'?"
Any more suggestions?
*And the shooting will start ten minutes later.