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And they mostly involve a terrible accident befalling next door's baby.
All babies cry. With the exception of Little baby Jesus and myself, obviously, but apart from those two notable examples babies periodically bawl their delightful, cuddly bundle of love and joy heads off. But I have to ask; how normal is it for them to cry for hours at a time, pretty much every day? Hours. And hours. And hours. Every. Day.
I was wondering this as I lay awake last night listening to the incessant howling of next door's baby - whose bedroom appears to be on the other side of the wall to mine - and idly fantasising about suddenly turning bright green and slightly less muscular, bursting through the wall, and putting it out of my misery by hurling it over the horizon with one mighty throw.
You might think I'm joking about the way it cries, but I'm not. It's not entirely constant, but if it cries for less than 6 hours out of every 24 then it's unusual. It's got to the point where I've leaned out of the window and shouted "In the name of Christ shut up!". Sister has accosted the parents in the street and politely asked if they'd consider using a dummy. Neither of these things have worked, so is it time to up the ante? I've been toying with putting dummies through their letterbox with a note attached saying "For God's sake use this" every time it cries the night through. "Some of us have to go to work in the morning." Alternatively, I've been considering buying a copy of this year's biggest hit parenting book and popping a copy of that through their letterbox. If you haven't come across it, the audio copy is below.
Narrated by Samuel L Jackson, and parenting doesn't get cooler than that.
(Not work safe. Very sweary indeed. If you don't like naughty words, don't press play).
All babies cry. With the exception of Little baby Jesus and myself, obviously, but apart from those two notable examples babies periodically bawl their delightful, cuddly bundle of love and joy heads off. But I have to ask; how normal is it for them to cry for hours at a time, pretty much every day? Hours. And hours. And hours. Every. Day.
I was wondering this as I lay awake last night listening to the incessant howling of next door's baby - whose bedroom appears to be on the other side of the wall to mine - and idly fantasising about suddenly turning bright green and slightly less muscular, bursting through the wall, and putting it out of my misery by hurling it over the horizon with one mighty throw.
You might think I'm joking about the way it cries, but I'm not. It's not entirely constant, but if it cries for less than 6 hours out of every 24 then it's unusual. It's got to the point where I've leaned out of the window and shouted "In the name of Christ shut up!". Sister has accosted the parents in the street and politely asked if they'd consider using a dummy. Neither of these things have worked, so is it time to up the ante? I've been toying with putting dummies through their letterbox with a note attached saying "For God's sake use this" every time it cries the night through. "Some of us have to go to work in the morning." Alternatively, I've been considering buying a copy of this year's biggest hit parenting book and popping a copy of that through their letterbox. If you haven't come across it, the audio copy is below.
Narrated by Samuel L Jackson, and parenting doesn't get cooler than that.
(Not work safe. Very sweary indeed. If you don't like naughty words, don't press play).
