davywavy: (Default)
[personal profile] davywavy
And they mostly involve a terrible accident befalling next door's baby.

All babies cry. With the exception of Little baby Jesus and myself, obviously, but apart from those two notable examples babies periodically bawl their delightful, cuddly bundle of love and joy heads off. But I have to ask; how normal is it for them to cry for hours at a time, pretty much every day? Hours. And hours. And hours. Every. Day.

I was wondering this as I lay awake last night listening to the incessant howling of next door's baby - whose bedroom appears to be on the other side of the wall to mine - and idly fantasising about suddenly turning bright green and slightly less muscular, bursting through the wall, and putting it out of my misery by hurling it over the horizon with one mighty throw.

You might think I'm joking about the way it cries, but I'm not. It's not entirely constant, but if it cries for less than 6 hours out of every 24 then it's unusual. It's got to the point where I've leaned out of the window and shouted "In the name of Christ shut up!". Sister has accosted the parents in the street and politely asked if they'd consider using a dummy. Neither of these things have worked, so is it time to up the ante? I've been toying with putting dummies through their letterbox with a note attached saying "For God's sake use this" every time it cries the night through. "Some of us have to go to work in the morning." Alternatively, I've been considering buying a copy of this year's biggest hit parenting book and popping a copy of that through their letterbox. If you haven't come across it, the audio copy is below.

Narrated by Samuel L Jackson, and parenting doesn't get cooler than that.

(Not work safe. Very sweary indeed. If you don't like naughty words, don't press play).

Date: 2011-06-16 10:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gnommi.livejournal.com
that's inpsired... and I am forwarding it to my sister (protector of nephews #1 and #2) forthwith. It's for everyone's good

Date: 2011-06-16 10:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ddraiggwyrdd.livejournal.com
Joking aside, if the crying is as you describe then it's NOT normal and neither is it normal for the parents to ignore it for so long. You might start asking more pointed questions to either provoke a response or get them to deal with the problem - or find out that there IS a real problem.

1) I hope you don't mind my asking, but does your baby have a health problem? (sound genuinely concerned)

2) Have you asked your health visitor about the problem with your babies constant crying?

3) Accidentally (?) drop a couple of NSPCC leaflets in their presence.

Date: 2011-06-16 10:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
On a more serious note, I had been considering dropping the NSPCC a line.

Date: 2011-06-16 11:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gnommi.livejournal.com
My sis was recommended something called "controlled crying" when one of hers was a persistent yowler, which seemed to involve (to my untrained eye) basically just letting them howl themselves to sleep or boredom. I seem to remember the object was to get the little ones not to associate making a horrible noise with instant gratification or attention.
Could they be doing a particularly bloody minded variant of that?

Date: 2011-06-16 11:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
We have discussed this as a possible reason for the yowling.

Date: 2011-06-16 11:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rssefuirosu.livejournal.com
Controlled crying, while particularly chilling and utter bollocks, is still not the same as letting them howl on for hours and hours at a time. (Genetic progenitor of a ten month old, have done homework, we are an attachment parenting household thankyouverymuch.) If they aren't responding to that much crying, then it is entirely possible that the child has colic and they both (yes, men get it too) have post-natal depression. It seriously is worth having a word with them and recommending they get their health visitor involved before someone else does. Babies do not cry unless they need something.

Date: 2011-06-16 02:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gnommi.livejournal.com
my sister was not enamoured of the procedure whatsoever fwiw. seems dangerous to me

Date: 2011-06-16 01:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ddraiggwyrdd.livejournal.com
That's usually a method with a time limit, after which if the baby hasn't stopped then there is a problem. My friends little girl is a little on the hyper side and tends to cry when she's tired because she doesn't want to give in and sleep. Small children wont cry for long past tiredness because they haven't got the energy, so if crying persists its because there is a physical problem - usually hunger. After all they can't speak, they have to communicate somehow.

Date: 2011-06-16 11:01 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
The thing is, the family aren't at all badly off. They're not deprived.When they first moved in, I looked up the sale price of the house on englishhouseprices.com like you do,to get an idea how much it meant the flat was now worth, and I reckon the father must certainly work in the City to be able to raise a mortgage for the entire house. You can look down through the glass roof of their rear extension and see the child's Fisher Price toys scattered across the wooden floor of their new kitchen, which they've recently had done up ... and in the middle of the floor you'll see a carry cot plonked down, with little legs and arms flailing over the sides, and a constant low-grade penetrating wailing noise, which the parents seem to be able to tune out.

H

Date: 2011-06-16 12:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sherbetsaucers.livejournal.com
I think you'll find that lies make baby Jesus cry.

Taking the amount of time I spend lying (and I'm not even a politician) and then multiply that by a factor of 6.something billion I imagine the baby Jesus cries a *lot*.

Have you considered you are next door to the second coming?

Date: 2011-06-16 12:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
Nonsense!

"The little Lord Jesus, no crying he makes"

That's established theological FACT. It's in the song.

Date: 2011-06-16 12:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sherbetsaucers.livejournal.com
There were less people back then, so less lies.

Date: 2011-06-16 12:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
And youngsters had respect, and never talked back. Good point.

Date: 2011-06-16 12:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sherbetsaucers.livejournal.com
Don't forget Diana.

Everything gone wrong now... :(

Date: 2011-06-16 12:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
She was the Princess of our Hearts. I really thought Tony Blair spoke convincingly and from the heart when he gave her eulogy on behalf of us all.

Date: 2011-06-16 12:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sherbetsaucers.livejournal.com
Before her I never knew it was ok to hug people you didn't really know.

And before him I thought the Labour Party gave a rats arse about poor people.

How I wish they were both still with us.

Date: 2011-06-16 12:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
So you hadn't been paying attention before either of them then?

Try hugging some poor people you don't really know, to make it it to them.

Date: 2011-06-16 12:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sherbetsaucers.livejournal.com
I would, but they all smell of chips.

Date: 2011-06-16 12:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
I thought that was an aphrodisiac to you.

Date: 2011-06-16 12:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sherbetsaucers.livejournal.com
Well, that explains the newspaper print stains all over your neck.

DISCLAIMER: This joke pretty much only works pre-1978

Date: 2011-06-16 12:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
I dunno, we were still getting Fish & Chips in Yorkshire in newspaper into the 1990s.

But that's because we're PROPER POOR in Yorkshire, not rich and soft like you southern jessies.

Date: 2011-06-16 12:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sherbetsaucers.livejournal.com
True, but I was assuming anyone from Yorkshire (Or anywhere else where the map still says 'here be dragons') wouldn't actually have access to the internet, so wouldn't be reading this.

Date: 2011-06-16 12:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
I have to burn my own body fat in a furnace to generate electricity to run this compu-doohickey, you know.

Date: 2011-06-16 12:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sherbetsaucers.livejournal.com
No wonder you;re on line so much.

Date: 2011-06-16 12:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
It's my glands!

Date: 2011-06-16 07:13 pm (UTC)
ext_3057: (Default)
From: [identity profile] supermouse.livejournal.com
If the baby has colic, then it will cry for hours and hours every day and *there is nothing anybody can do*. It will grow out of it in a few weeks. The parents are *already* going insane.

If you suspect that the reason for the constant crying is that the baby is being neglected, then you should be telling other people than your internet friends.

Date: 2011-06-16 08:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thefon.livejournal.com
+1.

What I was going to say.
Man up and buy some earplugs.

Date: 2011-06-16 09:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] twicedead.livejournal.com
Our neighbours have two little girls around 3 and 5 years old, who communicate only in the language of screaming their heads off. They are unleashed into the garden at 7am every day to scream directly outside our bedroom window. I feel your pain.

Profile

davywavy: (Default)
davywavy

March 2023

S M T W T F S
   1234
56789 1011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031 

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jul. 13th, 2025 02:11 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios