Hallowe'en's coming, oo-ee-oo-ee-oo

It struck me this morning that Hallowe'en is on the way, and that means it's the time of year when I get my pen out and try to write some tales o' terror.

IN previous years this has included such pants-wetting fables as

David and Monty at the Mountains of Madness,

Murder in moominland,

The lost valley of the dinosaurs,

The six-word tales of terror,

The wining, and

I was a teenage Libdem werewolf.

So, I'm opening the floor to suggestions for tales of lurking fear and suchlike. I sort-of promise to write the best.

[News] Horror as man on telly says he "Dreams of another recession".

A BBC news report went viral last night as a man being interviewed said he went to sleep every night and "dreamed of another recession." Ed Balls, Shadow Chancellor went on to comment; "Let's face it, it's the only hope I've got of ever getting anywhere near power again."

In other news, Ed Balls is this morning reported to have offered Alessio Rastani a job.