No better way to start your day.

The fellow who lives next door to David Towers is a heavy smoker, and every morning he goes out onto the balcony adjacent to ours to hack and choke and eventually cough up something the same size and colour as a scoop of expensive mint choc chip ice cream before gobbing it over the side and sparking up the first gasper of a new day.
Frankly, I can think of preferable ways to be awoken*.

Anyway, this morning he shambled out onto his balcony to begin his morning ritual only to find me standing on our balcony in t-shirt and underpants doing that exercise where you fling your arms out to expand your chest like Barbara Windsor in Carry on Camping. I took a deep, non-smoke filled breath. "Good morning!" I hailed him cheerfully. "Isn't life great!"

He glared at me in a sullen way from beneath his confused brow like a Cro-Magnon confronted by fire in a '60s film for a few moments before turning and stumbling back inside. A few moments later I heard the muffled sound of him coughing something unspeakable into his sink.

It's not much, but it's a start.

^{*But the she-David has made it clear in no uncertain terms that they won't be happening.}