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Not suitable for children. Or my mum.
Jul. 18th, 2012 09:57 amOne of the latest literary (I use the term advisedly) fads is updating classic novels to include all the frisky sex scenes which the original authors so absent-mindedly left out. Sense and Sensibility, Jane Eyre, Wuthering Heights, Sherlock Holmes and more have all had new editions released with additional bits of porn inserted (as it were) into the text, just like I'm sure Conan Doyle and the Brontes really intended had they not been stuck in those boring olden days.
What strikes me about this most of all is that someone is making money out of it, and when there's a fast buck to be made I'm there. So, I've been thinking about which classics to which I could add some hastily-written smut.
Fifty Shades of Grayskull: The Sorceress helps Prince Adam discover incredible powers when he holds aloft his magic sword, Man-at-Arms uses his gadgets on Evil-lynn in a manner which is illegal in 39 American states, and Orko discovers that Skeletor really does have a bone in those tights.
Fifty shades of Greystoke: The infant Tarzan is rescued by a family of friendly bonobo monkeys and learns his social behaviour from them, which comes in handy when he rescues Jane some years later. An extended sequence featuring Tarzan, Jane and Cheetah the chimpanzee has been described as "Superbly written and exciting" by the residents of Broadmoor prison.
Fifty Shades of Grayfriars: When Greyfriars boarding school goes co-educational, "Winker" Watson gains a new hobby (and a new nickname).
What strikes me about this most of all is that someone is making money out of it, and when there's a fast buck to be made I'm there. So, I've been thinking about which classics to which I could add some hastily-written smut.
Fifty Shades of Grayskull: The Sorceress helps Prince Adam discover incredible powers when he holds aloft his magic sword, Man-at-Arms uses his gadgets on Evil-lynn in a manner which is illegal in 39 American states, and Orko discovers that Skeletor really does have a bone in those tights.
Fifty shades of Greystoke: The infant Tarzan is rescued by a family of friendly bonobo monkeys and learns his social behaviour from them, which comes in handy when he rescues Jane some years later. An extended sequence featuring Tarzan, Jane and Cheetah the chimpanzee has been described as "Superbly written and exciting" by the residents of Broadmoor prison.
Fifty Shades of Grayfriars: When Greyfriars boarding school goes co-educational, "Winker" Watson gains a new hobby (and a new nickname).
