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David vs. the naked ladies.
Aug. 2nd, 2013 09:59 amFor the last eighteen months or so I've been heading to the gym up in Chelsea for Ninja High. They used to run it at the Battersea park gym but it moved and, well, I do like my ninjaing (I learn to give people - wait for it - ninjuries!) so I make the trip. Anyway. Imagine, if you will, you're watching this on the television. You see me arrive at the gym and pay my money, exchange a few pleasantries with the guy behind the counter - who does not, mark you, give any indication that anything might have changed since my last visit last week - and I saunter into the changing rooms.
Now at this point, if my life was a sitcom (which it often is), the camera would stop at the changing room door and then pan down to the little sign I'd just walked past without noticing. The sign which states, in tiny, tiny print, that the male and female changing rooms have been swapped round during ongoing renovation work. Perhaps then they'd play the sad trombone, just to make the point.
Back to me. I sauntered into the changing rooms, noted they were empty, and headed into the toilets for a wee. Business complete, I didn't bother zipping up my trousers as I was about to remove them for getting changed anyway, and walked out of the toilets just as two women were getting into their bathing costumes. There was a long moment* where I didn't know where to look**.
Now, if I'd had my wits about me I could have given an airy wave and said something like "Don't worry ladies, it's nothing I've not seen before. I've got the internet" before casually taking my leave. In reality I made a little strangled noise - like this "Oauuuuaaa" - pointed, and said something witless like "Male changing room?"
Well, after a small amount of grabbing of towels and surprisingly polite under the circumstances remonstration I bustled out of the changing rooms, noted the sign on the door, and went to mention this to the guy on the counter. He was aware, wasn't he, that the sign on the door wasn't very conspicuous? That I'd wandered out of the toilets with my trousers undone in front of a couple of naked ladies? That maybe, just maybe, it might be a good idea to say something to people when they paid in? In return he nodded, took note of everything I said, and then he started laughing.
I could still hear him laughing as I went upstairs to the class.
*Well, it seemed a long moment. Like, forever. In reality it was probably only 0.000000000005 seconds.
**Actually, I did know where to look, but sometimes that doesn't help.
Now at this point, if my life was a sitcom (which it often is), the camera would stop at the changing room door and then pan down to the little sign I'd just walked past without noticing. The sign which states, in tiny, tiny print, that the male and female changing rooms have been swapped round during ongoing renovation work. Perhaps then they'd play the sad trombone, just to make the point.
Back to me. I sauntered into the changing rooms, noted they were empty, and headed into the toilets for a wee. Business complete, I didn't bother zipping up my trousers as I was about to remove them for getting changed anyway, and walked out of the toilets just as two women were getting into their bathing costumes. There was a long moment* where I didn't know where to look**.
Now, if I'd had my wits about me I could have given an airy wave and said something like "Don't worry ladies, it's nothing I've not seen before. I've got the internet" before casually taking my leave. In reality I made a little strangled noise - like this "Oauuuuaaa" - pointed, and said something witless like "Male changing room?"
Well, after a small amount of grabbing of towels and surprisingly polite under the circumstances remonstration I bustled out of the changing rooms, noted the sign on the door, and went to mention this to the guy on the counter. He was aware, wasn't he, that the sign on the door wasn't very conspicuous? That I'd wandered out of the toilets with my trousers undone in front of a couple of naked ladies? That maybe, just maybe, it might be a good idea to say something to people when they paid in? In return he nodded, took note of everything I said, and then he started laughing.
I could still hear him laughing as I went upstairs to the class.
*Well, it seemed a long moment. Like, forever. In reality it was probably only 0.000000000005 seconds.
**Actually, I did know where to look, but sometimes that doesn't help.
