It's the other commuters I feel sorry for.

Lord alone knows what I ate last night, but it's proceeded to do something terrible to my digestion.
Stuck outside Victoria underground station for about half an hour on the way to work this morning due to the tube going skew-wiff yet again, the background noise of commuters was something like: *grumblegrumblegrumblegrumblePARPgrumblegrumblePARPgrumblePARPgrumblegrumblegrumblePARP*.

If you were there, you have my sincere apologies.