Search intensifies for missing Russian biathlon team

With the closing ceremony at Sochi only days away, authorities have stepped up their search for the Russian biathlon team who have been missing, presumed lost, since their semi-final event against Finland last Tuesday.

"Everything seemed normal went they set off", said Georgi Ivanov, who is coordinating the search. "The two teams went off into the woods on their skis, there was some shooting, and then an hour or two later the Finns came in to claim victory.
"We think the Russians must have taken a wrong turn, or something."

In an unusual turn of events, the Finnish team declined a place in the final or a medal, announced 'it's not the winning, it's the taking part', and got on the first plane home.

When asked to comment on the missing team, Russian President Vladimir Putin did not appear concerned by the disappearance, simply observing "there's plenty more where they came from" and looking meaningfully at the Finnish border.