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"There is nothing like a dame" (Roleplaying version)
Act 2, Scene 1: An idyllic seaside resort, out of season. The curtain opens on a large conference hall, where twenty or thirty GEEKS in goatees, faded black T shirts and XXXL jeans are discovered engaged in various gaming recreations – shaking twenty-sided dice, laying out Magic cards, hitting one another with rubber swords, etc.
[To the tune of “There is nothing like a Dame” from South Pacific]
Geek 1: We got sunlight on the sand
We got moonlight on the pier
Geek 2: We got coffee! We got doughnuts!
Geek 3: We got Pringles!
Geek 4: We got beer!
Geek 1: We got Traveller and Runequest
We got David running games!
Geek 2: What ain’t we got?
Geek Chorus: We ain’t got dames!
Geek 2: We got artefacts and relics
We got magic! We got gold!
Geek 3: We got unconvincing yarns
Of natural twenties that we rolled!
Geek 1: I got a plus 5 Vorpal Blade!
Geek 2: I got a fortieth level thief!
Geek 3: What do we need?
Geek Chorus: We need relief!
Geek 1: We got nothing to keep our best suits clean for
Geek 2: Or in some cases, observe the most basic fundamentals of personal hygiene for
Geek Chorus: There is nothin' like a dame,
Nothin' in the world,
There is nothin' like a dame
Who’ll come anywhere near a game!
Geek 3: We know what they’re meant to look like
From the cheats on Lara Croft
Geek 1: And I’ve got a life-size model
Geek 2: Though it’s started going soft
Geek 3: And we’ve often tried to fathom
Where the gamer chicks all go
Where are they all?
Geek Chorus: We sure don’t know!
Geek 1: We got nothing to start going to the gym for
Geek 2: Go on a diet, wear firm-control underwear, or make the slightest effort to appear marginally more slim for
Geek 2: We got a first edition DMG
By Gary Gygax, signed !
Geek 3: I got a dark elf realdoll
Which has stopped me going blind!
Geek 1: I got a new Star Fury!
Geek 2: I got a telepath!
Geek 3: What do we need?
Geek Chorus: We need a bath!
Geek Chorus: There is nothin' like a dame,
Nothin' in the world,
There is nothin' like a dame
Who’ll come anywhere near a game!
[To the tune of “There is nothing like a Dame” from South Pacific]
Geek 1: We got sunlight on the sand
We got moonlight on the pier
Geek 2: We got coffee! We got doughnuts!
Geek 3: We got Pringles!
Geek 4: We got beer!
Geek 1: We got Traveller and Runequest
We got David running games!
Geek 2: What ain’t we got?
Geek Chorus: We ain’t got dames!
Geek 2: We got artefacts and relics
We got magic! We got gold!
Geek 3: We got unconvincing yarns
Of natural twenties that we rolled!
Geek 1: I got a plus 5 Vorpal Blade!
Geek 2: I got a fortieth level thief!
Geek 3: What do we need?
Geek Chorus: We need relief!
Geek 1: We got nothing to keep our best suits clean for
Geek 2: Or in some cases, observe the most basic fundamentals of personal hygiene for
Geek Chorus: There is nothin' like a dame,
Nothin' in the world,
There is nothin' like a dame
Who’ll come anywhere near a game!
Geek 3: We know what they’re meant to look like
From the cheats on Lara Croft
Geek 1: And I’ve got a life-size model
Geek 2: Though it’s started going soft
Geek 3: And we’ve often tried to fathom
Where the gamer chicks all go
Where are they all?
Geek Chorus: We sure don’t know!
Geek 1: We got nothing to start going to the gym for
Geek 2: Go on a diet, wear firm-control underwear, or make the slightest effort to appear marginally more slim for
Geek 2: We got a first edition DMG
By Gary Gygax, signed !
Geek 3: I got a dark elf realdoll
Which has stopped me going blind!
Geek 1: I got a new Star Fury!
Geek 2: I got a telepath!
Geek 3: What do we need?
Geek Chorus: We need a bath!
Geek Chorus: There is nothin' like a dame,
Nothin' in the world,
There is nothin' like a dame
Who’ll come anywhere near a game!
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I thought you'd abandoned LJ?
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Sending link to my gaming group. :)
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Go. Now.
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(come here from
There's me, but I'm married to a games-writer...
...who is laughing his arse off after having just heard me singing this...
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-- Andi (the answer is: the good geek-dames are taken, having been snapped up by lucky and observant geek-boys early in the game!!)
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It also explains why, in online RPGs, everyone is convinced that I (and all other females) are actually men trying to mess with people's minds. ;)
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I came here from Cavalorn's LJ and oh, it was worth it...:)
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There is nothing like ... a game
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I want to see it performed. :O
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Added Back.
I don't post much, mind.
*Deeply falttered*
You can find other songs what I'm proud of here, here, here, and here
Not that I'm showing off, or anything :)
Re: *Deeply falttered*
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(Here via Scarlet's link.)
Nice work indeed.
~j
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Which has stopped me going blind!
I was doing okay until this line.
*snork giggle bwahahahaha*
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(Here via Scarlet.)
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LOL!
I'm visiting via
Re: LOL!
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Another here through Scarletdemon.
I have thespian friends, one of whom has been our local panto Dame for years uncounted and this is his seminal piece. I am tempted to bring him up-to-date by substituting your words in his sheet music!
All I must now learn is how to age paper.