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Act 2, Scene 1: An idyllic seaside resort, out of season. The curtain opens on a large conference hall, where twenty or thirty GEEKS in goatees, faded black T shirts and XXXL jeans are discovered engaged in various gaming recreations – shaking twenty-sided dice, laying out Magic cards, hitting one another with rubber swords, etc.
[To the tune of “There is nothing like a Dame” from South Pacific]
Geek 1: We got sunlight on the sand
We got moonlight on the pier
Geek 2: We got coffee! We got doughnuts!
Geek 3: We got Pringles!
Geek 4: We got beer!
Geek 1: We got Traveller and Runequest
We got David running games!
Geek 2: What ain’t we got?
Geek Chorus: We ain’t got dames!
Geek 2: We got artefacts and relics
We got magic! We got gold!
Geek 3: We got unconvincing yarns
Of natural twenties that we rolled!
Geek 1: I got a plus 5 Vorpal Blade!
Geek 2: I got a fortieth level thief!
Geek 3: What do we need?
Geek Chorus: We need relief!
Geek 1: We got nothing to keep our best suits clean for
Geek 2: Or in some cases, observe the most basic fundamentals of personal hygiene for
Geek Chorus: There is nothin' like a dame,
Nothin' in the world,
There is nothin' like a dame
Who’ll come anywhere near a game!
Geek 3: We know what they’re meant to look like
From the cheats on Lara Croft
Geek 1: And I’ve got a life-size model
Geek 2: Though it’s started going soft
Geek 3: And we’ve often tried to fathom
Where the gamer chicks all go
Where are they all?
Geek Chorus: We sure don’t know!
Geek 1: We got nothing to start going to the gym for
Geek 2: Go on a diet, wear firm-control underwear, or make the slightest effort to appear marginally more slim for
Geek 2: We got a first edition DMG
By Gary Gygax, signed !
Geek 3: I got a dark elf realdoll
Which has stopped me going blind!
Geek 1: I got a new Star Fury!
Geek 2: I got a telepath!
Geek 3: What do we need?
Geek Chorus: We need a bath!
Geek Chorus: There is nothin' like a dame,
Nothin' in the world,
There is nothin' like a dame
Who’ll come anywhere near a game!
[To the tune of “There is nothing like a Dame” from South Pacific]
Geek 1: We got sunlight on the sand
We got moonlight on the pier
Geek 2: We got coffee! We got doughnuts!
Geek 3: We got Pringles!
Geek 4: We got beer!
Geek 1: We got Traveller and Runequest
We got David running games!
Geek 2: What ain’t we got?
Geek Chorus: We ain’t got dames!
Geek 2: We got artefacts and relics
We got magic! We got gold!
Geek 3: We got unconvincing yarns
Of natural twenties that we rolled!
Geek 1: I got a plus 5 Vorpal Blade!
Geek 2: I got a fortieth level thief!
Geek 3: What do we need?
Geek Chorus: We need relief!
Geek 1: We got nothing to keep our best suits clean for
Geek 2: Or in some cases, observe the most basic fundamentals of personal hygiene for
Geek Chorus: There is nothin' like a dame,
Nothin' in the world,
There is nothin' like a dame
Who’ll come anywhere near a game!
Geek 3: We know what they’re meant to look like
From the cheats on Lara Croft
Geek 1: And I’ve got a life-size model
Geek 2: Though it’s started going soft
Geek 3: And we’ve often tried to fathom
Where the gamer chicks all go
Where are they all?
Geek Chorus: We sure don’t know!
Geek 1: We got nothing to start going to the gym for
Geek 2: Go on a diet, wear firm-control underwear, or make the slightest effort to appear marginally more slim for
Geek 2: We got a first edition DMG
By Gary Gygax, signed !
Geek 3: I got a dark elf realdoll
Which has stopped me going blind!
Geek 1: I got a new Star Fury!
Geek 2: I got a telepath!
Geek 3: What do we need?
Geek Chorus: We need a bath!
Geek Chorus: There is nothin' like a dame,
Nothin' in the world,
There is nothin' like a dame
Who’ll come anywhere near a game!
no subject
Date: 2005-06-22 10:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-22 10:25 am (UTC)I thought you'd abandoned LJ?
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Date: 2005-06-22 10:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-22 11:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-22 11:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-22 01:17 pm (UTC)Sending link to my gaming group. :)
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Date: 2005-06-22 05:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-23 01:27 am (UTC)Go. Now.
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Date: 2005-06-23 04:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-23 11:48 am (UTC)(come here from
There's me, but I'm married to a games-writer...
...who is laughing his arse off after having just heard me singing this...
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Date: 2005-06-23 02:53 pm (UTC)-- Andi (the answer is: the good geek-dames are taken, having been snapped up by lucky and observant geek-boys early in the game!!)
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Date: 2005-06-23 04:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-23 11:31 pm (UTC)It also explains why, in online RPGs, everyone is convinced that I (and all other females) are actually men trying to mess with people's minds. ;)
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Date: 2005-06-23 02:03 pm (UTC)I came here from Cavalorn's LJ and oh, it was worth it...:)
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Date: 2005-06-23 03:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-23 03:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-23 02:55 pm (UTC)There is nothing like ... a game
Date: 2005-06-23 03:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-23 11:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-24 12:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-25 06:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-05 06:07 pm (UTC)I want to see it performed. :O
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Date: 2005-07-07 10:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-07 10:14 am (UTC)Added Back.
I don't post much, mind.
*Deeply falttered*
Date: 2005-07-07 10:30 am (UTC)You can find other songs what I'm proud of here, here, here, and here
Not that I'm showing off, or anything :)
Re: *Deeply falttered*
Date: 2005-07-07 08:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-07 10:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-07 10:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-07 10:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-07 10:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-07 11:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-07 11:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-07 12:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-07 11:43 am (UTC)(Here via Scarlet's link.)
Nice work indeed.
~j
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Date: 2005-07-07 03:27 pm (UTC)Which has stopped me going blind!
I was doing okay until this line.
*snork giggle bwahahahaha*
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Date: 2005-07-07 06:12 pm (UTC)(Here via Scarlet.)
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Date: 2005-07-07 04:22 pm (UTC)LOL!
Date: 2005-07-08 02:26 am (UTC)I'm visiting via
Re: LOL!
Date: 2005-07-08 09:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-08 03:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-08 09:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-09 03:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-08 10:34 am (UTC)Another here through Scarletdemon.
I have thespian friends, one of whom has been our local panto Dame for years uncounted and this is his seminal piece. I am tempted to bring him up-to-date by substituting your words in his sheet music!
All I must now learn is how to age paper.