Sexuality - or a sandwich.

[davywavy]

During the bickering which followed one of my recent intemperate rants on these pages, someone used the acronym 'LGBT'. I was fairly confused by this. My immediate reaction was 'What the Hell has a Sandwich got to do with this?" and it took me about 24 hours before I finally figured out, from the context, that 'LGBT' actually stood for 'Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual/Trans(Gendered? Vestite? I haven't figured the T out yet)' and that it was the latest linguistic ghettoification of a fair swathe of the human race.
There are two sorts of Political Correctness. There's 'not being rude', which is a laudable aim, and there's 'creating tortuous acroynms and euphamisms which, by dint of trying to be all things to all people, simply succeed in belittling the very people they seek to avoid offending'. LGBT is, in my opinion, a fine example of the latter.
You see, when it comes to language and causing offense and hurt with it, it's very often not the words that are used, but the context and intent with which they are used. A good example of this is the Spastics Society, which underwent a lengthy and costly rebranding exercise to 'Scope' (because 'Spastic' is used as an insult), only for kids in playgrounds to be calling each other 'Scopers' within a matter of months.
What really made me think about 'LGBT' was the fact that it's a phrase I've never heard any one of my variously-sexualitied friends use to describe themselves. In short, it's a phrase created by people who don't fit the term to describe a large number of people who they think do. But what do I know? I've never gazed lustfully at another bloke, so I'm not really qualified to comment. However, something I realised when I first really started hanging out with people who wouldn't be classified as a '1' on the Kinsey scale some years ago is that it's only fair and polite to let the people described define the terms used to describe them - within reason, anyway - and I really don't think that 'LGBT' does this.

But like I say. What do I know?
So, in the spirit of exploration and investigation I'd like to ask the non-completely straight people out there: What term would you use to describe your sexuality?
[Poll #544964]

Still, I suppose in a few weeks time, kids in playgrounds up and down the land will be calling "Oh, you're so LGBT!" at each other, and so then Students Unions will have to think of yet another non-judgemental catch all phrases to describe humanity which, whilst being created to avoid any possible offense, will also be just as completely meaningless.
God, when I was at University we actually had to use our time for things like work.*

^{* neilhist and godzuki, you stay out of this.}

Comments

[borusa.livejournal.com]

I first ran into the abbreviation at University - it's used most commonly (in my experience) for the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered (which includes transvestites, transsexuals and other similar categories) Society. Hence LGBT Society.

I've not seen it used to identify anyone - I can't see someone saying "I'm LGBT".

[chrisvenus]

For the record at oxford uni there is an LGBSoc which is, as you can probably guess, the Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual society. Given the way things work they would be qutie capable of changing the name of their society if they wanted to so I have to assume that they are happy with that.

I've only come across LGBT once which was on a JCR noticeboard which the LGBT rep had control of and would presumably be able to change if desired.

I've never heard LGBT used by anybody to describe themselves but I think that is because it is not valid for an individual but for a group.

The thing that has always slightly amused me is whether there is an entry test for the society in oxford to prove that you are L, G, B or T (I'm similarly confused as you on the meaning of this).

So, there you go.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

There was years ago and very briefly, a campiagn in the Manchester 'gy village' to get people who wanted into gay bars and clubs to snog a member of the same sex in order to prove they were, in fact, gay.
Ihis was quickly dropped, I think mainly because nobody wanted to create a ghetto.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Or 'Person of restrictive growth'; the number of people who got called 'PORG' at school, oh dear.

[vierkilau.livejournal.com]

As someone that is vertically challenged i can't stop laughing

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

You're not vertically challenged, you're differently tall.

[taimatsu]

I have answered your poll.

How, though, *should* we describe an event which is intended for people who are not heterosexual and people who are transgendered or transsexual? 'Queer' is one possible word, but it offends some people and could be seen as excluding trans people.

The reason you have never heard your friends describe themselves as LGBT is that it is not a term which can be applied to an individual. No one person can be described as lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans/gendered/sexual - so your poll is meaningless.

It's a term for describing a community, or a wider group of people, and members of that group do use it and are comfortable with it. You don't have to use it if you don't like it - but good luck coming up with something else.

[taimatsu]

There wasn't when I joined :)

[vierkilau.livejournal.com]

Hmmm I don't want to know what you mean buy that

[cryx]

as people have said above, it's a description of a society or community, not a personal label. you have LGBT groups, not people. But i'm quite familiar with the LGBT, although i often forget the T as it wasn't included when i first met LGB socs.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

But I've never heard any event describe din those terms eitehr - perhaps I don't hang out in student unions any more, but I've never heard anyone say 'I'm off to a LGBT club tonight'. I have heard people say 'I'm off to a gingerbeer event', and 'I'm going to the Gay Village'.

[chrisvenus]

How, though, *should* we describe an event which is intended for people who are not heterosexual and people who are transgendered or transsexual?

Discriminatory? :)

What did LGBSoc actually get up to though? I'm trying to work out what the actual point of the society was... RPGSoc roleplays with each other, the rugby society plays rugby, did the LGBSoc just hang around being gay together? I always have it in my mind as a bit of a meat market (not least because of people telling me that it is) because its just a place where you can easily identify those who are gay.

Maybe if I was more gay I'd understand the need for it but I don't really.

[borusa.livejournal.com]

Advocacy and support.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

That's fair enough - I've never encountered the phrase, even when I was at university. The reason the phrase needled me was that I don't like seeing groups of people clustered together in little, neat linguistic niches. I've always felt that to be one of the best ways to create breeding grounds for discrimination of any stripe.

Hmmmm.

[vulgarcriminal.livejournal.com]

I've been tagged for being what I am by very, very few people. To my life, being a married person who isn't into pagan polyarmory (hehehehhe) relationships or interested in group sex, it doesn't apply.

If it did, I might be more bothered. I plan on being married for a long while though.

[taimatsu]

'I'm going to LGBsoc.' 'I'm going down to the Glasgow LGBT centre.'

It's used in specific formal circumstances where there is a definite need to avoid excluding anyone. Yes, it's PC, but there are some good reasons for it. It's not used in casual speech where no-one is going to get the wrong idea.

I say to my friend 'I'm going to a gay/queer event in London.' However, if I made an LJ post for others' information, I would make sure I noted that it was, in fact, an LGBT event, so that no-one in those groups reading it got the idea that they were not welcome. If, on the other hand, I specifically said 'This is a lesbian event' people would take from that that only lesbians (no bisexuals, no transpeople, no gay men) were welcome.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Fair enough. Its completely new to me as a phrase though, hence my curiousity/confusion.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I've always been of the opinion that what goes on inside other people's underwear is really their own business and not mine.

Re: Hmmmm.

[cleosilver.livejournal.com]

Same here. I find using the term married to explain my sexuality works quite well.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Never do it when I'm present. I implore you.

[taimatsu]

Support. It was a way to meet people who were also not-straight. If I had not gone to LGBsoc I would have known about two people who were gay/lesbian/bi, and felt like a complete weirdo. As it was, I met other people like me and could go 'Oh look, there are lots of other people who aren't straight, and they're all getting on with things and being nice and normal and funny and flamboyant; liking girls isn't a problem.' I made some good friends, some of whom I still keep in touch with. I didn't actually meet any long-term partners through LGBsoc, so the meat-market thing wasn't quite that for me (and the one short-term partner I met I would have met anyway through other friends).

It's easy to feel, in a big university full of randy students, that no-one else is gay, and that's really lonely and hard to deal with. LGBsoc makes a big difference to that, whether or not you use it to find a partner.

It also does things like showing gay-interest films (which wouldn't make it on the screen at, let's say, a JCR video night) and running various campaigns when necessary.

The website says the current mission statement is:

The Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual Society exists --

• to offer a safe and friendly environment where LGB students and members, and their friends, can socialise freely;
  
• to offer a wide and varying entertainment program for LGB students and members;
  
• to offer support and welfare services for the LGB community, regarding their lives and their sexuality;
  
• to be visible as a net of support for all those unclear about their sexuality within the university;
  
• to offer LGB students and members the opportunity to meet in an arena independent of politics;
  
• to promote and integrate the LGB community within the university and the city of Oxford.
  

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

I say 'mostly human' because sometimes my brain hits tangents not consistant with original wiring plans.

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

That said, noone seems to have noticed that "Straight" (or PC equivalent) is missing...

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I did say that the poll was for non-straight people...

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

Ah right, that will be my half-arsed brain skipping straight past the description of said poll and going "Oooo a poll, must select something."