davywavy: (ding dong!)
[personal profile] davywavy
There is a story in Roald Dahl's Tales of the Unexpected in which someone kills a famous gourmand by pouring the very last bottle of some famous bottle of wine on the ground in front of them, giving them a heart attack at the sight. Literature has a number of examples of this sort of thing; people who want to consume the very rare, the exotic or the unique - from Eat the rich to 2000ad to Against Nature there are stories of gastronomes making great efforts to scoff rare and unusual foodstuffs.
In reality this is harder to acheive than in literature, but there are possibilities. Whilst zoos tend to object if they catch you wandering into the panda enclosure with a napkin and some cutlery, there are some rare - even unique - comestibles that can be gained access to if you're lucky.

Back in the bad old days when I worked for other people, I always used to get a bit resentful of the fancy-dandy jollies which management seemed to get taken on my clients. It was me, I reckoned, who was doing all the work - so why should they get the fun? Of course these days I work for myself and so I haven't had a holiday since 2002 and earn the minumim wage but on the plus side I get invited to the client jollies myself. The other night, I was invited to a particularly nice do by a client who are launching a new product and they wined, dined and got me squiffy in fine style. It was tremendously good fun.

Anyway, I'm going somewhere with this. Back in 1994, the Blandoch distillery in southern Scotland was mothballed and sold with a restrictive covenant prohibiting further production of Whisky, so as you can imagine the stuff is getting harder to come by. In fact, it's just got very hard indeed. When I went out on the other night, there were only a couple of bottles of Blandoch Single Malt 1994 vintage left in the entire world.

And now, my darlings, there aren't any.

*Burp* *


* And jolly nice it was too. I'd recommend you try it, if there was any point in my doing so.

Date: 2005-10-07 10:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ukmonty.livejournal.com
rather more of the Corpral of industry I would say. Burt work hard and keep collecting the tokens and you will one day get that third stripe....

Date: 2005-10-07 10:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
I've got a stripe in my underwear, does that count?

Date: 2005-10-07 10:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ukmonty.livejournal.com
copying my Icon now are we?

Date: 2005-10-07 10:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
Oh, and you got your icon idea from whom?

Date: 2005-10-07 11:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
Ahem. Four Words. "Sir Cuthbert Ware-Armitage."

Date: 2005-10-07 11:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ukmonty.livejournal.com
yes, as in the film, so not really yours is it. Ha, at you sir!

Date: 2005-10-07 11:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
I was first to publicly recognise your astonishing resemblance, though.
Which is now out of date as your beard makes you look like Mephistopheles instead, who I don't think TT ever played (but it would have been dream casting).

Date: 2005-10-07 11:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ukmonty.livejournal.com
your only jealous of my hirsuit good looks! Are you around this weekend BTW

Date: 2005-10-07 11:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
Could well be. Give me a bell.

Date: 2005-10-07 11:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ukmonty.livejournal.com
Will do, now stop using my Icon, you plagarising Icon nabber you

Date: 2005-10-07 12:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ukmonty.livejournal.com
Glad you came up with a othy reply, the spirit of Saki Lives on!

Date: 2005-10-07 12:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
Didn't you know? I'm famous for my 'othy' replies...

Date: 2005-10-07 12:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ukmonty.livejournal.com
That was a gift for you and you fumbled it. It must be the stress of being a corporal of industry.....

Date: 2005-10-07 12:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
So says the milk-monitor of the public sector...

Date: 2005-10-07 12:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ukmonty.livejournal.com
Thats Mr Milk -monitor to you. And guess who's going to get his ticket checked on the way home tonigh? Bruhahahahahahahaha

Date: 2005-10-07 12:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
Not the internal cavity-search ticket inspection again!

Date: 2005-10-07 12:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ukmonty.livejournal.com
Please, dont use a public forum to exspress your sordid fantasies.

Did I mention I get free travel? Well not free I suppose, you pay for it really, dont you:)

Date: 2005-10-07 12:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ukmonty.livejournal.com
No, really you do:)

Did I tell you I will be off on a trip for work soon?

Date: 2005-10-07 12:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ukmonty.livejournal.com
looks like you've put some weight in that photo

Date: 2005-10-07 12:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
So there's more of me to love.

Date: 2005-10-07 01:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ukmonty.livejournal.com
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

sorry lardy, I'm taken

Date: 2005-10-07 01:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
I can see the headlines now:

"God found: A clippie on London Transport"

Actually, I can't see that after all.

Date: 2005-10-07 01:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ukmonty.livejournal.com
That will be the after effects of all that fine booze you ligged off some unsuspecting supplier then.

Date: 2005-10-07 01:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ukmonty.livejournal.com
And we dont have clippies, although I wouldnt necessarily notice them AS I DONT NEED A TICKET CAUSE ITS FREE!

Date: 2005-10-07 01:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
Do you ever work?

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