Great psychological questions answered

[davywavy]

As I'm sure you know, that great thinker Sigmund Freud once threw aside his cigar in a fit of pique and cried out "Mein Gott!" (He spoke German, you see), "Donner und Blitzen! Sturm und Drang! Hansel und Gretel! What does a woman want!?"

It's a question which has tormented menfolk for centuries - what the devil do girls want? So, in a flash of inspirational genius, I've decided to try a tactic which no man has ever tried before when finding out what girls want: I'm going to ask them.
Now I know the scientists amongst you may be quailing at this strategy. "Don't do it, David!" You're crying, even as I type. "No good will come of it! That way madness lies!" but my course is set. I'm going to turn thousands of years of male/female relations on their heads by actually asking girls what it is they want.

Naturally, you can trust me to use my new-found knowledge only for good, and keep the results fairly secret-ish, and so the identities of respondents will be kept quiet. If you're a boy, you can answer the quiz too - that way I can compare what girls actually want and what boys think they want, and see if they tally up. So, tell me all. It's in the name of science.
I'm sure Francis Bacon is beaming down on me from heaven, nudging Freud and muttering "I bet you wish you'd had an LJ now, eh, Sigmund old boy?"

[Poll #608571]

Comments

Note to <lj user="tooth_fairy">

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Your demands are utterly unreasonable!

Re: Note to <lj user="tooth_fairy">

[tooth-fairy.livejournal.com]

I reserve the right to not want Syphilis...

no point to this survey you know, the main thing every man should know is that women reserve the right to change their mind about what they want on a daily basis.

Changing your mind?

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Re: Changing your mind?

[tooth-fairy.livejournal.com]

no amount of male stropping will change it either, we are trained by our mothers to ignore tantrums.

Re: Changing your mind?

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Then I must kill you instead. It is the only solution.

Re: Changing your mind?

[tooth-fairy.livejournal.com]

we are also born with invisable armour plating

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

So how much are you selling these results for; or are you just going to publish a book?

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I intend to use my knew knowledge to build an army of women who will do my every bidding and then conquer the world!

[davedevil.livejournal.com]

Don't you feel that them takign two days off a month for a bit of a cramp is going to threaten your plans of global supremacy?

[tooth-fairy.livejournal.com]

boo hiss

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

No, I just won't let them near the piranha lagoon during that time.

[lanfykins.livejournal.com]

DIEDIEDIEDIEDIE

(Speaking as someone who has been known to throw up and pass out from period pain, but walk on an ankle so blue and swollen the doctor couldn't believe it wasn't broken)

[vulgarcriminal.livejournal.com]

MAN FLU.

[applez.livejournal.com]

Just make sure the New Models Army (tee-hee) don't live together, so one can ensure a perpetual force in continuous operation.

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

Just how many Jonny Depp clones and tonnes of chocolate will that require however?

Apparently...

[lanfykins.livejournal.com]

...what I want is to be respected as an equal by the man who periodically flings me on my back, earn just as much as he does without having to actually go to work, and be loved for my beautiful soul by someone who can't take his eyes off my breasts.

That's not a problem, is it?

Re: Apparently...

[tooth-fairy.livejournal.com]

perfectly reasonable request

Re: Apparently...

[hiromasaki.livejournal.com]

Yes, because I'm taken.

And the money thing is kinda difficult to pull off, too.

Re: Apparently...

[lanfykins.livejournal.com]

Actually, the money thing is the only one I'm currently missing :)

Re: Apparently...

[quisalan.livejournal.com]

I think that's completely reasonable.

Sad that it never happens in real life... *rueful smile*

Re: Apparently...

[aerin.livejournal.com]

*taps chin* I do believe you've summed it up quite nicely.

Mind you, that man had better know me well enough to know the right time to fling me on my back, and he'd better not be looking at my breasts when I want eye contact or vice versa.

And God help him if I catch him looking at someone else's breasts.

(Okay, that last isn't really true, but I figured I'd play into it. :P)

Re: Apparently...

[silanah.livejournal.com]

that reads like my wish list.

I don't think it's unreasonable.

[tooth-fairy.livejournal.com]

My mum wants Nick Knowles and all the blokes of DIY SOS to come and live at our house...that and no calorie chocolate

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Laxative chocolate is almost the same as 0 calories.

[tooth-fairy.livejournal.com]

I don't think she'd like that

[vulgarcriminal.livejournal.com]

I want a lot of money.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

And what will you do to earn it, baby?

[vulgarcriminal.livejournal.com]

Sell babies.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

You aren't getting any of my loot without puttin' out.

[tooth-fairy.livejournal.com]

isn't that prostitution?

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

No, I'd just be paying for her company. Anything else that happens is just a private thing between two consenting adults.

[vulgarcriminal.livejournal.com]

I'd only be a good escort for the completely masochistic.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Well, judging by my record it sounds like I'm your ideal customer.

[tooth-fairy.livejournal.com]

hmmm, I did wonder why you were being so chummy with Anwen

no selling my baby you! :p

[vulgarcriminal.livejournal.com]

She's sooo cute though....

[tooth-fairy.livejournal.com]

I'll be keeping a close eye on your ebay listings young lady :p

[(Anonymous)]

Smacking.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I seriously considered putting that as an option but LJ only gives you a maximum of 15 boxes.

You forget a rather key female need

[applez.livejournal.com]

HEAT! Never forget the icy fingers, hands and feet seeking warmth from any source possible!

Women have some bizarre internal inefficient heat transfer system, I have come to realize.

Re: You forget a rather key female need

[martyrssmile.livejournal.com]

We don't _need_ heat.
We just need significant others who understand our requirement to put cold bits under their armpits, against the small of their back, and between their toasty warm thighs.

Re: You forget a rather key female need

[applez.livejournal.com]

Cruel women. :-p

Cold women demanding body heat?

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

[aerin.livejournal.com]

I used the poll to be goofy and hit on you shamelessly. Hope you don't mind.

Other than that, good luck with that army o' yours, you silly fool. :P

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Women hitting on me shamelessly is always a good thing.

[nicnac.livejournal.com]

Hiya

Found you via cavalorn and have added you for your amusment factor. Hope that's OK?

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Delighted! I live to amuse.