Spot the deliberate mistakes.

[davywavy]

In an utterly doomed bid to make roleplaying cool and hip to a New Generation^tm, yo, jive with the roleplaschnizzle in my crib, the makers of D&D have produced this little animated feature.
Now I don't know about your thoughts, but the depiction of gamers bears little or no relation to the sordid reality to which I have become accustomed.

With that in mind, I'm throwing open another one of my famous 'promise a prize but never deliver' competitions, in which I invite you lot to watch the animation and then list as many ways as you can see that the game, the gamers, and their house depicted differs from the awful reality of actual roleplayers.

Comments

[ukporl.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm compiling a list, but my first impression (backed up by the way the game only lasted for 20 seconds and was therefore obviously a pretext for something else) was that the guy whose house they were at fancies the GM.

Clearly.

I'm sorry, I've got to say it-that film was bloody awful! I bet those actors/models never work again, purely out of shame.

[elffin.livejournal.com]

"I bet those actors/models never work again, purely out of shame."

Like Marlon Wayans, and Jeremy Irons?

[ukporl.livejournal.com]

I was also annoyed it wouldn't let me select their beer or crisps to see what flavours they were.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Me too. Their taste in music sucks as well.

[jonnyargles.livejournal.com]

1) One freaking roll before they go for pizza?
2a) Fireball roll accepted with good nature rather than - "but I dodged behind that big shield! You're such a cheat!"
2b) DM doesn't attempt to fudge rolls to make his mighty NPC creature withstand their attacks and thus prove his fertility is better than theirs.
3) Room not strewn with rock music posters, books and mould.
4) They all look damn attractive by gamer standards - no congenital skin defects, anyway, and clean clothing.
5) Doesn't appear to be living with his mother/disapproving wife

I'm out.

[cavalorn.livejournal.com]

1. Table is clean.
2. So is carpet.
3. So is players' clothing.
4. And players' hair.
5. ... which is also neat and not longer than the nape of the neck in any case.
6. Term 'backstab' used in a 3.5 edition game.
7. No sign of any PC, Playstation, XBOX or alternative means of entertainment.
8. All dice on table, rather than beneath chair, table, bookcase etc.
9. No piles of paper with hastily jotted notes that prove impenetrable on the next session (such as the comment 'Bones and a HAT!' which I still have no idea what it was referring to)
10. No character sheets that look like they have been trampled by elephants with coffee cups on their feet.
11. No piles of books that aren't actually used.
12. No non-WOTC products.
13. All players remain focused on the game throughout.
14. DM's screen is stiffly upright and not sagging, knocked over or just not bothered with.
15. No ancient, battered, badly painted Citadel Miniatures with missing body parts.

[vulgarcriminal.livejournal.com]

Oh Jesus.

It would be like roleplaying with Wakefield if they were castrated and on Prozac.

And in my female opinion none of those guys would ever get a chick.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

"Roleplayers in 'not getting a girl' shocker!"

[emach.livejournal.com]

Excuse my lack of RL game experience, but would an average game session look like it's going to dissolve into a circle jerk soon after the pizza?

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

If it did, it wouldn't be something you wanted to film. Oh God, no.

[sherbetsaucers.livejournal.com]

Looks pretty standand to me, aside from going for pizza after the big kill rather than all going off to the shower.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I will never, ever come to game at your house.

[karohemd.livejournal.com]

Oh dear, I don't even know where to begin.
Things that haven't been mentioned yet:
- Clearly, these aren't geeks and they're all far too hip/trendy both in looks and attire
- Where's the PC or laptop, cluttered desk, stacks of fantasy and scifi paperbacks/DVDs?

However, the game itself is very similar to my only ever D&D game I played at a con (dungeon crawl with fight against Big Bad Guy which was over after a few minutes).

The only actual real thing is the bloke being late because there's always one. We had someone like that in our irregular Vampire group. We would always tell him the game started an hour before the actual time so he'd only be a maximum of 15 minutes late...

[azekeil.livejournal.com]

Nonsense! This is all normal healthy behaviour for roleplayers. It's the freaks out there in the real world that worry me!

[terrycat.livejournal.com]

Big Bad demon killed with one stab, even if it WAS a backstab? I doubt. I'd expect at least a little bit of bitchyness from the GM.
Also, where's the freakouts, moans, whining n general bitchyness about opening with a fireball?
Where's the guy who's absentmindedly reading while everyone else is doing stuff (There's always one. Usually me. Damn)?
For that matter, how is it that everyone is doing something useful? That just never happens. Usually in a battle
a) the cleric is unconscious & therefore unable to heal,
b) the fighter is on the wrong end of the map and takes most of the fight to get into the fight,
c) the wizard is busy being beaten to a bloody pulp while whining that the cleric can't heal him and the fighter isn't protecting him, and
d) the thief is busy pissing himself laughing at the wizard dying. (Don't ask me why, but every d&d game I've been in, the wizard and thief do NOT get along)
No rules lawyers? I mean, I've been in sessions that don't have 'em, but those are few and far between.
No 15 minute discussions amongst players about what to do?

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Only 15 minutes discussions of what to do next? By God, you have a better group than we do. Over an hour is normal.

[bell-man.livejournal.com]

No final player solution that requires imaginative and unprintable use of a 10' pole.

(Oh, and Cam from Australia says "Hi") (http://www.livejournal.com/users/patchworkkid/545394.html)

[ditzy-pole.livejournal.com]

They're all relatively attractive, looks like they wash and the flat is still shockingly clean - I mean look at the carpet! And nowhere near enough books flung over the place.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

And you're the expert.

[patchworkkid.livejournal.com]

a). No one's stoned out of their gourd.
b). Everyone showed up.
c). No one tried to rape anything.

[grudthak.livejournal.com]

Hmmm... Based off the groups I have been involved with:

- No near impenetrable cloud of cigarette smoke
- everyone brought the munchies with them
- Not a single Monty Python reference
- Not one of the players has presented a ream of print-outs from websites with home made prestige classes etc.
- They stayed (relatively On topic)
- Nobody tried to convince the demon to come work for them...
- or eat it
- or have sex with it
- no Mobiles visible!

[takhisis.livejournal.com]

Nobody tried to convince the demon to come work for them...

Yeah, that was the biggest thing that leapt out at me as well. ;D

[sclerotic-rings.livejournal.com]

Be thankful that this video doesn't come with Smell-O-Vision, because no large gaming group is complete without a visit from Cat Piss Man (http://www.savantmag.com/16/retail16.html).

[ukporl.livejournal.com]

Did anybody bother to play the 'demonstration game'?

[(Anonymous)]

Perhaps they ought to have posted a disclaimer. "Warning, hygiene of actual rolepayers may vary from that depicted."

H

[sue-b.livejournal.com]

1 the room is clean
2 the books don't open at the correct page due to amount of use
3 They haven't spend 2 hours previous upstairs on the computer
4 the artwork, no gamer worth their salt spends money on artwork when there are books to get. That's what the free promo posters are for!
5 no dice are ever thrown
6 no 20 minute discussion about the rules
7 no pisstaking of the gm for calling the demon fluffy
8 why go out for pizza when you can order in
9 They can't be gamers as they are too clean and coherent!
10 They are playing a drow module and the lead villian is male!

Funny

[applez.livejournal.com]

I saw that link a while back, it's very cute.

I think the first thing that stood out from the very beginning:

They shop at IKEA, and nothing is broken or stained

[ukporl.livejournal.com]

A more accurate marketing tagline based on that example would probably be:

"Dungeons & Dragons -- Get together. Roll a die. Fuck off and forget about the rest of the game."

Actually...you should run a competition to find the best alternate slogan for D&D...

[sesquipedality.livejournal.com]

"D&D - it sucks the cock"

Simple and direct.

[cricketk.livejournal.com]

Having only ever been present while gamers have been gaming...

1.) The room is clean! Their hair is clean! The table is clean! Their clothes are clean! And new! It's all very clean! And very bright! It's like "Gaming Room by IKEA".
2.) No bitching at the GM or accusations of cheating.
3.) What happened to the rest of the game? They killed one monster in one round and went for pizza? Shouldn't it go on for like four hours twice a week for three months?
4.) And they definitely didn't drink enough beer
5.) Or make any obscure jokes
6.) Funky porn disco music?

*geek*

[aerin.livejournal.com]

I haven't read the other comments, so I may very well be repeating some. But here goes:

--Actual gamers speak in words, not thought bubbles
--A good roll doesn't get "Nice roll" from anyone, even if they're on your side. In reality, it's greeted by "You bitch!"
--Books are arranged neatly on the shelf
--Beer. I don't know any GMs that would allow this at the table... unless the GM gets his own case, all to himself.
a) Most gamers have better taste in alcohol than beer anyway.
b) nobody wants a drunk DM. Nobody.
--Not enbough posters on the wall
--Room is too well-lit. Most gamers I know would be going "AUGH! MY EYES!"\
--No parents and/or girlfriends (or SOs) wandering in trying to be social and understanding and all that.
a) No girlfriends tagging along and asking annoying questions about system.
b) No girlfriends demanding to be included in the game and making the biggest fucking Mary Sue EVER.
--You can see the floor. Weird.
--No funky stains on the carpet or walls. ... or furniture. ... or clothing.
--Not enough pizza boxes strewn around in various states of newborn civilisation.
--"Let's go get pizza!" is not greeted with:
1) "No money."
2) "No anchovies this time, you bastard."
3) "Food not important. Game now."
--The popcorn was just offered to the DM. What player in their right mind doesn't take a golden opportunity alone with the DM and food like that to bribe their DM?
--The fight isn't started with initiative rolls.
a) There's no bitching about initiative rolls that might have been rolled before, either.
b) No bitching when the DM tells them where they were, like, "No, wait, I was hiding behind that barrel, remember?"
c) Nobody tries to use wild empathy on Fluffy.
d) No dirty jokes about what the Big Bad guy does with Fluffy when nobody's watching.
1) Not a single pun.
--Fluffy's death isn't immediately followed by "How much XP do I get?"
a) An NPC that got an actual name was killed by a single max damage "backstab".
1) The DM did not grumble once about this fact.
b) In fact, the DM doesn't even utter a single curse when his NPC fails to get a TPK.
c) What the fuck is a backstab, anyway? Unless he means sneak attack?
--The DM offers something in return for help setting shit up, instead of just saying, "Do it, minion, or your ass is grass."
--Since when to gamers greet each other with "High five!"?
--People don't seem to be hoarding any of the food. People even share cheese.
--I don't know any DMs who actually use that map thingie with the squares.
--Being late isn't met with the threat of docked XP as well as demands that the late one buys the pizza.
--The cleric actually thinks to heal everyone during a fight.
--The magic-user casts haste on everyone. Not fireball. Not magic missile. Haste.
--Not a single person asks, "Whose turn is it?" during combat.
--The gamers don't interrupt the game once to chat abotu random topics.
--The pros and cons of certain feats aren't debated once.
--The gamer actually has WotC prints on the wall instead of random pages ripped from Dragon.
--The gamer has nice radio that plays ... disco. wtf.
--Gamer has actual books. Not a single .pdf in sight.
--No TV, DVDs, gaming consoles, etc in the background
a) Evil Dead, Life of Brian, Princess Bride or something of the sort isn't playing in the background.
b) No one wanders away for a second to check their email.


... that's all I can think of right now. I'll probably add more once I watch it again or something. Yeah.

Re: *geek*

[aerin.livejournal.com]

Wow. That was supposed to have actual sort of formatting in it. *sigh*

I think

[stackadder.livejournal.com]

I used to play with that group... *oh Gods, the shame*

Re: I think

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

You played D&D with a bunch of gay male models? I know people for whom that's a dream come true.