Villageski of the Damnedski
Mar. 22nd, 2006 11:10 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
davywavyAt the height of the cold war, a Russian General and an American General started talking about their military preparedness.
"In Russia", said the Russian, "We feed our soldiers well. Every man has a minimum of two and a half thousand calories a day!"
"Hell", said the Amreican. "That's nothin'. In the US Army we feed our men three thousands calories a day!"
"Impossible!", cried the Russian. "No man could eat so many potatos!"
Well, since my post the other day I've recieved a positive flurry of emails from Russia offering me girls who want to marry me. They're all to me at work, by name and mention stuff that could only have come of my company website. They've all got different, charmingly illiterate letters of introduction and they're all from different email addresses. If I were a more gullible man, I'd think that I had hit a rich seam of women eager for some hot Davidwallet lovin'.
However, there's something about these girls that leads me to suspect that there might be something else going on here. There's some vague similarity which suggests to me that not all is as it seems. Can you spot what I mean?
This Siberian Sexpot is Malenkaya
This Leningrad Lovely is Irena
Whilst this Muscovite Messalina is Svetlana
Now it strikes me that there are three possible reasons for this uncanny similarity: first, that the Russias are still living in the aftermath of some appalling Stalin-era cloning experiment. Second, that the Russian population is being replaced by aliens in a Midwitch Cuckoos sort of way and this is their attempt to spread their alien tendrils across the Earth.
Thirdly, my favourite theory, is that I've scored with identical triplets. Get in!
It is a common male fantasy to get it on with two or even three identical women, but I have to say that I'm not entirely convinced by this opportunity. The thought of making out with three people whose idea of foreplay is to whisper sweet nothings about the Five-Year Plan and the success of the Beet harvest doesn't fill me with glee - it'd be like some unholy Menage a quatre with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
inskauldrak, jonnyargles and lapinenoire.
Or possiblysnapesbabe, which would at least have its consolations.
So in the light of that, a question:
[Poll #695682]
"In Russia", said the Russian, "We feed our soldiers well. Every man has a minimum of two and a half thousand calories a day!"
"Hell", said the Amreican. "That's nothin'. In the US Army we feed our men three thousands calories a day!"
"Impossible!", cried the Russian. "No man could eat so many potatos!"
Well, since my post the other day I've recieved a positive flurry of emails from Russia offering me girls who want to marry me. They're all to me at work, by name and mention stuff that could only have come of my company website. They've all got different, charmingly illiterate letters of introduction and they're all from different email addresses. If I were a more gullible man, I'd think that I had hit a rich seam of women eager for some hot David
However, there's something about these girls that leads me to suspect that there might be something else going on here. There's some vague similarity which suggests to me that not all is as it seems. Can you spot what I mean?
This Siberian Sexpot is Malenkaya
This Leningrad Lovely is Irena
Whilst this Muscovite Messalina is Svetlana
Now it strikes me that there are three possible reasons for this uncanny similarity: first, that the Russias are still living in the aftermath of some appalling Stalin-era cloning experiment. Second, that the Russian population is being replaced by aliens in a Midwitch Cuckoos sort of way and this is their attempt to spread their alien tendrils across the Earth.
Thirdly, my favourite theory, is that I've scored with identical triplets. Get in!
It is a common male fantasy to get it on with two or even three identical women, but I have to say that I'm not entirely convinced by this opportunity. The thought of making out with three people whose idea of foreplay is to whisper sweet nothings about the Five-Year Plan and the success of the Beet harvest doesn't fill me with glee - it'd be like some unholy Menage a quatre with
inskauldrak, jonnyargles and lapinenoire.Or possibly
snapesbabe, which would at least have its consolations.So in the light of that, a question:
[Poll #695682]
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-03-22 11:23 am (UTC)It was doing fine untill you replaced sexy russian triplets with the Red Banner northern fleet die hards!
no subject
Date: 2006-03-22 11:24 am (UTC)Well comrade, it is clear that with your spoilt Western decedant attitude, our Russian girls are not good enough for you.
Just because Comrade Stalin's cloning program took a few more decades to work does not mean it is not a good idea!!!
Actually an EVIL thought- all these Russian women looking for men right?
Isn't there a huge surplus of chinese men going on right now?
Now how evil would it be to organise people in the West to forward all such mails to one central website abvertised in China as 'Desperate Russian chicks'.
Charge the Chinese men to get acess to the site, and positively encourage them to post to these ladies!
Think of the money!?
Good old fashion capitalism I sware!
besides- THEY would appreciate our fine Russian women!
no subject
Date: 2006-03-22 11:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-22 11:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-22 11:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-22 11:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-22 11:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-22 11:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-22 11:30 am (UTC)My God!
It IS Deneby!!!
Wait a minute- their use of English as obviously either a second langauge or translated via babel fish?
Seeking cash?
Obvious some kind of scam?
They ARE from Deneby!!!
Oh, oh wait a minute. None of them have more facial hair than you and I puit together. Can't be a Deneby girl.
no subject
Date: 2006-03-22 11:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-22 11:31 am (UTC)But I reckon we can both agree that number one looks like a real gold digger?
no subject
Date: 2006-03-22 11:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-22 11:34 am (UTC)(blink)
There are three of you?!?!
(blinks)
I feel faint.
I may have to lie down.
Must.
Stop.
Thinking.
Rude.
thoughts.
Too late!
no subject
Date: 2006-03-22 11:35 am (UTC)There is a slight difference between us, I am not quite as slim as my sisters and they have bigger boobs.
no subject
Date: 2006-03-22 11:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-22 11:35 am (UTC)Deneby- the hole holding the Axis of Evil rod in place.
no subject
Date: 2006-03-22 11:35 am (UTC)I hope you approve of the fact that we have been sharing you.
no subject
Date: 2006-03-22 11:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-22 11:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-22 11:36 am (UTC)You right.
I will have to keep with the one.
And burn the other two!
Obviously its witch craft!
Burn the witches! they are tricksey and have cloned my lady!
no subject
Date: 2006-03-22 11:37 am (UTC)(blink)
Take back the burning the witches comment!
HUZZAH!
(thinks)
I often wondered where you got the energy from to be honest!
no subject
Date: 2006-03-22 11:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-22 11:38 am (UTC)My brother's friends visit an awful lot, I can't think why.
Occassionally we end up in cat fights but nothing that a pillow fight whilst dressed in our skimpy underwear can't fix.
no subject
Date: 2006-03-22 11:39 am (UTC)I think two wins.
no subject
Date: 2006-03-22 11:40 am (UTC)