Villageski of the Damnedski

[davywavy]

At the height of the cold war, a Russian General and an American General started talking about their military preparedness.
"In Russia", said the Russian, "We feed our soldiers well. Every man has a minimum of two and a half thousand calories a day!"
"Hell", said the Amreican. "That's nothin'. In the US Army we feed our men three thousands calories a day!"
"Impossible!", cried the Russian. "No man could eat so many potatos!"

Well, since my post the other day I've recieved a positive flurry of emails from Russia offering me girls who want to marry me. They're all to me at work, by name and mention stuff that could only have come of my company website. They've all got different, charmingly illiterate letters of introduction and they're all from different email addresses. If I were a more gullible man, I'd think that I had hit a rich seam of women eager for some hot David wallet lovin'.
However, there's something about these girls that leads me to suspect that there might be something else going on here. There's some vague similarity which suggests to me that not all is as it seems. Can you spot what I mean?

This Siberian Sexpot is Malenkaya


This Leningrad Lovely is Irena


Whilst this Muscovite Messalina is Svetlana


Now it strikes me that there are three possible reasons for this uncanny similarity: first, that the Russias are still living in the aftermath of some appalling Stalin-era cloning experiment. Second, that the Russian population is being replaced by aliens in a Midwitch Cuckoos sort of way and this is their attempt to spread their alien tendrils across the Earth.
Thirdly, my favourite theory, is that I've scored with identical triplets. Get in!

It is a common male fantasy to get it on with two or even three identical women, but I have to say that I'm not entirely convinced by this opportunity. The thought of making out with three people whose idea of foreplay is to whisper sweet nothings about the Five-Year Plan and the success of the Beet harvest doesn't fill me with glee - it'd be like some unholy Menage a quatre with inskauldrak, jonnyargles and lapinenoire.
Or possibly snapesbabe, which would at least have its consolations.

So in the light of that, a question:
[Poll #695682]

Comments

[lexx-uk.livejournal.com]

Thanks mate your Menage a quatre has just spilt my coffee and made me ill.

It was doing fine untill you replaced sexy russian triplets with the Red Banner northern fleet die hards!

[mrmmarc.livejournal.com]

FUNNY!
Well comrade, it is clear that with your spoilt Western decedant attitude, our Russian girls are not good enough for you.
Just because Comrade Stalin's cloning program took a few more decades to work does not mean it is not a good idea!!!

Actually an EVIL thought- all these Russian women looking for men right?
Isn't there a huge surplus of chinese men going on right now?

Now how evil would it be to organise people in the West to forward all such mails to one central website abvertised in China as 'Desperate Russian chicks'.
Charge the Chinese men to get acess to the site, and positively encourage them to post to these ladies!

Think of the money!?
Good old fashion capitalism I sware!

besides- THEY would appreciate our fine Russian women!

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Not to mention that it looks like all these women live in Denaby.

[mrmmarc.livejournal.com]

(stares at building behind the women)

My God!
It IS Deneby!!!

Wait a minute- their use of English as obviously either a second langauge or translated via babel fish?
Seeking cash?
Obvious some kind of scam?

They ARE from Deneby!!!

Oh, oh wait a minute. None of them have more facial hair than you and I puit together. Can't be a Deneby girl.

[raggedhalo.livejournal.com]

Man, those babies would be really confused...half repressive-regime, half we've-got-no-money-to-oppress-you-with-but-we'd-still-quite-like-to regime, all commie turned capitalist. Yipes.

[mrmmarc.livejournal.com]

Addictive gamblers with a predisposition towards vodka.
VERY scary!

[mrmmarc.livejournal.com]

But the third seems so much more vunerable!

[vulgarcriminal.livejournal.com]

She's the hotter one definitely

[nicnac.livejournal.com]

They all need to rethink their exterior decor.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I grew up near here, and the decor looks just like home.

[chrisvenus]

I was thinking that the setting looked like somewhere in england though I couldn't think quite where it reminded me of.

[(Anonymous)]

But you must admit, whoever wrote that link has a superlative ear for the demotic.

H

[tooth-fairy.livejournal.com]

I am one of three identical triplets, I find your post hurtful and offensive.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I would ask if there are any more at home like you, but you've just answered my question.

[mrmmarc.livejournal.com]

You are??
(blink)

There are three of you?!?!


(blinks)

I feel faint.
I may have to lie down.

Must.

Stop.

Thinking.

Rude.

thoughts.




Too late!

[miss-s-b.livejournal.com]

I'm terribly flattered that you think I'm more attractive than jonnyargles; I think he's something of a dish.

[mrmmarc.livejournal.com]

Indeed.
A petri dish.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Well I wouldn't want to spoon with him! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Misunderstanding

[gwaunquest.livejournal.com]

They are very poor-ergo they cannot afford a photograph each, so the only girl in russia who had her photo taken has loaned it out to all the others. I think it's very sad. Perhaps you could offer your services as a photographer.

Re: Misunderstanding

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

You did say photographers, right?

Villageski of the Damnedski?

[applez.livejournal.com]

Surely you mean the New Development Zone for the old People's Agricultural Collective Site #443/7.

[applez.livejournal.com]

Careful with those Stalin clones ...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/southern_counties/4838708.stm