davywavy: (blofeld)
[personal profile] davywavy
One of the real difficulties of being an aspiring criminal mastermind is the difficulty of sourcing those day-to-day essentials. After all, just how many volcano bases are there up for grabs? I mean - It's pretty easy to acquire your own Private Island, but how many of those come with a free death-ray on them? The logistics of threatening civilisation are a bitch.

However, thanks to the miracle of the internet - and especially eBay - it is now possible to acquire everything you might want with just a connection and a credit card. From your own missile base in a hollow mountain to personal transport, your own aircraft carrier and something to fly off it.
Sadly, you still have to build your cruise missles yourself.

If you'll excuse me, I'm off to acquire some silver jumpsuits for my goons. With any luck, the next time you see me I'll be making demands of the United Nations.

Date: 2006-05-11 11:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kathminchin.livejournal.com
But David, silver jumpsuits just mean that you'll have one petite blonde who bewitches your major hard goon, and everything will go wrong from then on.

I vote for costumes from the lovely Becky Spence - that way you can have corseted lovelies, and no secret agent will be able to figure out how to unlace them ...

Date: 2006-05-11 11:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
You may have a point - as the Underworld films demonstrate, corsets have no negative impact upon fighting ability.

Date: 2006-05-11 02:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] breekom.livejournal.com
Don't forget to ask for a whole million pounds sterling. Wouldn't want to undertake world domination unless it was worth it, right?

Date: 2006-05-11 02:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
Dollars just don't cut it any more, do they?

Total tangent

Date: 2006-05-11 02:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] robinbloke.livejournal.com
But worth it...

http://lastguy.msn.com/default.aspx?id=1>1=7958

Re: Total tangent

Date: 2006-05-12 08:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rhythmaning.livejournal.com
Thank you for the link!

Date: 2006-05-11 02:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] angusabranson.livejournal.com
The sad thing is that I was looking at some of those islands thinking 'hmm.... that's not too expensive'.

Well, I guess when we're uber-rich publishers one of us might be able to consider it ... I'll race ya if you like! ;p

Date: 2006-05-11 02:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
There was a point, about six years ago, when I was earning well and the stock market was zooming up, that I thought I was within a chance of buying myself one.
It's amazing how times change, isn't it?

Date: 2006-05-11 02:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greebotrill.livejournal.com
You are a perfect Evil Mastermind and I want in your "apprentice" programme

The Apprentice.

Date: 2006-05-11 02:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
You have to be warned; instead of shouting "You're fired!", I shout "You have failed me for the last time!" before vapourising you. It's in the contract.

Re: The Apprentice.

Date: 2006-05-11 02:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greebotrill.livejournal.com
Fair enough :-)

Date: 2006-05-11 03:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrmmarc.livejournal.com
tsk!
They'll let anyone be evil these days!

Date: 2006-05-11 04:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] karohemd.livejournal.com
You might also consider one of these.

Date: 2006-05-11 06:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] colin-boyle.livejournal.com
That's definitely now going to be included in my Shadowrun game!

Date: 2006-05-12 07:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rhythmaning.livejournal.com
I am really sorry, I can't stop laughing.

So they don't bother about people with rucksacks on the tube... but you can get all this stuff on eBay?!!

Please, I want my own aircraft carrier... Do you think they throw the Harriers in for free?
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