Jade Goody put on Suicide Watch

[davywavy]

The British media are delighted to announce that Jade Goody, who recently hit the headlines with her controversial statements in Celebrity Big Brother, is to star in a new reality media event entitled Suicide Watch.
"Suicide Watch will be a cutting-edge media event which will take reality broadcasting and reporting to a whole new level in 2007", said Independent Editor Simon Kelner. "What we do is take a member of the public, preferably uneducated and unable to cope with the glare of celebrity. We laud them to the skies and then demonise and harry them before turning the cameras on them 24 hours a day, seven days a week to see what happens."
Media watchdogs have been assured that Suicide Watch is not in poor taste, but will instead provide valuable insight and talking points about the life of someone being torn apart through their own gullibility and the rapacity of the press. Sun editor Rebekah Wade is also enthusiastic about the project. "It's a natural progression from Big Brother - we built Jade up in the public eye and it's only fair to destroy her there, too. The sort of offensive language and bullying she used in the Big Brother house was unacceptable, and we intend to teach this fat loathsome stupid little bitch a lesson in tolerance."
Despite Carphone Warehouse pulling sponsorship from Big Brother in the light of Jade Goody, as yet no advertisers have announced they will not be supporting the media outlets involved in Suicide Watch, and coverage of the project is receiving record audience interest.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Good thing too, she's got it coming. We should burn her in effigy whilst chanting slogans.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

That'd teach her tolerance! Good idea!

[(Anonymous)]

There's only one sort of tolerance her sort understand.

[(Anonymous)]

One good thing about not having a TV is that we've been spared most of the national Jadenhass, and saved money too! It's a win-win.

H

[(Anonymous)]

It reminds me a bit of those old folk rituals where a random peasant would find a bean in his cake & live like a king for 12 days or so, after which the mob would suddenly turn on him for no rationally explicable reason and rend him to shreds. Obviously it satisfies some deep, ancient need in the human psyche. I expect your pagan chums will point out that it is, in fact, necessary to sacrifice Jade Goody in order to bring the sun back.

H

[silver-blue.livejournal.com]

You write it as a satire, and yet...

Anyway, given that she's on the front pages of everything, has a bunch of morning TV appearances, and will no doubt have her whole tearful "I'm not a racist" confession piece in Hello! magazine or similar, I daresay that she'll do OK out of the whole incident.

As suggested on Mock the Week, next time all the housemates listen at the door for cheering/booing when someone leaves, they should get complete silence and then the sound of a single gunshot, just to see how they react. :)

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

It was inspired by the Evening Standard headline "Jade on Suicide Watch', which sounded to me like a new reality Tv show...

She's been smart, though. he's tearfully confessed to racism and apologised to it. If she'd denied it, the mood of the mob would ahve turned nastier and torn her to bits. As it is, we may now expect 'My torment' pieces in Heat, a book about her 'painful journey' towards tolerance and acceptance (serialised in the news of the World), and a TV documentary about her trip to India to learn about their culture.

[(Anonymous)]

You forgot the Jade Goody branded curry flavoured chips - 75% saturated fat free!

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

You know me, I carefully consider all aspects of a situation before I pass comment.

[(Anonymous)]

I am sure that is as you say.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

You're just teh jealousX0r

[flywingedmonkey.livejournal.com]

That is exactly what I said to Liz would happen earlier today!

JmC
Great minds

[gwaunquest.livejournal.com]

Of course she wasn't being intentionally racist. We all realise that. The plain fact was that she and the other less than attractive female housemates were confronted with the presence of a woman of culture, intelligence, great beauty and personal success.The jealousy levels hit the ceiling and in true playground fashion they tried to gang up on her to make themselves feel better. They couldn't call her A fat cow,An ugly bitch, a stupid slag, or even a failure so they resorted to the only thing that was left to them. Her race.Had she been a fat stupid ugly D list celeb Jade would have been the first to defend her.