You can extend underwear wear-time by up to seven days by simply wearing them back-to-front

[davywavy]

When I was little, my mum always used to tell me that I should wear clean underpants 'in case I was run over crossing the road'. This always confused me; I mean, there I'd be twitching and bleeding my last, and rather than being shocked by my horrible, mangled injuries people would be saying: "Tsk. He was wearing those same Spiderman undies yesterday, the little guttersnipe." I don't know about you, but wearing clean underpants would be the last thing on my mind in that situation.
Or maybe it wouldn't. Who knows what the brain does in its last seconds?

Anyway, last night the real reason for the clean underwear/crossing the road rule struck me. Plainly paramedics are perverts who supplement their wages by selling the used pants of traffic fatalities on ebay to Japanese deviants.
It's the only explaination that makes sense.

Comments

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Was she right?

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

You know, all these things I never knew about you when you were single. It breaks my heart.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I'll just wait until you're hit by a car and then buy a pair.

[elbly.livejournal.com]

Mine told me that if I didn't wear clean pants I'd smell and no one would like me.

Apparently, according to the "social experiement" that an evil and twisted teacher made us do, no one liked me anyway, so I could have worn filth undies anyway! PAH!

It would be like a scene out of Father Ted, wouldn't it

[(Anonymous)]

You can picture the ambulance man straightening up from the gurney, holding an enormous pair of discoloured cotton Y fronts & inhaling deeply, like you do at the seaside. "Aaaah, got a good pair here, Stanley. Good thing they don't all listen to their Mum, eh." Cut to Japanese salaryman receiving a plain brown paper parcel & rubbing hands together, "At rast, my special derivery has arrived, hoorah for the British NHS! Envy of the world."

I'm amazed they haven't done it actually.

H

Re: It would be like a scene out of Father Ted, wouldn't it

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

One wonders what happened to Bernard Mannings last pair?
A particularly lucky person on the internet bagged those, I'll wager.

Re: It would be like a scene out of Father Ted, wouldn't it

[(Anonymous)]

I believe you were actually trying to type 'At rast, my speciar derively has allived, hoolah fol the Blitish HNS! Envy of the wolrd"

Your lack of knowledge of Asian cultures disappoints me. D-

Re: It would be like a scene out of Father Ted, wouldn't it

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Ah, casual racism, there's nothing like it.

Re: It would be like a scene out of Father Ted, wouldn't it

[(Anonymous)]

I'm wearing a tie.

Re: It would be like a scene out of Father Ted, wouldn't it

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I'm surprised you found one long enough to go round your neck.

Re: It would be like a scene out of Father Ted, wouldn't it

[(Anonymous)]

Thus spake the Sontaran.

[gwaunquest.livejournal.com]

It's all down to Murphys Law. Its based on the principal that because you DONT want to be caught with duff kaks the one occasion you have a pair on is the one occassion you will get hit.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

So clean undies are like a lucky charm?