Young love
Oct. 2nd, 2008 10:30 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
davywavySomething I had sent to me recently was A Guy's Guide To Not Getting It On (somewhat rude in parts and probably not work safe). I don't know why it was sent to me. Perhaps someone was trying to make a point or something. Who can say?
Reading it and the comments below it, it does somewhat beggar belief that men can be so astoundingly crass when trying to make a good enough impression that girls might see taking their clothes off as a good idea. I mean, I know us men can be - I certainly am - but having so many examples in close proximity just makes me cringe for my gender. Then again, knowing that so many men are witless and crass pleases me because that means there's just that much less competition in the market.
Having these guides of things not to say when trying to make that essential first impression is useful as it allows us to learn from the crippling, embarrassing mistakes of others. So, in a moment of gender equality and fairness, might I suggest:
Things for girls not to say on a first date:
1) "How much do you earn?"
2) "I'm an Aquarius, which means I'm a bit psychic".
3) "My parents didn't love me enough when I was little" (or any variation thereupon).
4) Anything about cats, especially:
i) Indicating that you own more than one cat,
ii) Suggesting that you like cats more than you do people,
iii) Suggesting that you think cats are in some way mystical or magical.
5) "I usually attract nutters and bastards, but you seem different"
So, question of the day: What's the worst thing anyone has ever said to you on a first date/whilst trying to chat you up. And what's the worst thing they could say?*
*Apart from "Hallo, I'm David", obviously.
Reading it and the comments below it, it does somewhat beggar belief that men can be so astoundingly crass when trying to make a good enough impression that girls might see taking their clothes off as a good idea. I mean, I know us men can be - I certainly am - but having so many examples in close proximity just makes me cringe for my gender. Then again, knowing that so many men are witless and crass pleases me because that means there's just that much less competition in the market.
Having these guides of things not to say when trying to make that essential first impression is useful as it allows us to learn from the crippling, embarrassing mistakes of others. So, in a moment of gender equality and fairness, might I suggest:
Things for girls not to say on a first date:
1) "How much do you earn?"
2) "I'm an Aquarius, which means I'm a bit psychic".
3) "My parents didn't love me enough when I was little" (or any variation thereupon).
4) Anything about cats, especially:
i) Indicating that you own more than one cat,
ii) Suggesting that you like cats more than you do people,
iii) Suggesting that you think cats are in some way mystical or magical.
5) "I usually attract nutters and bastards, but you seem different"
So, question of the day: What's the worst thing anyone has ever said to you on a first date/whilst trying to chat you up. And what's the worst thing they could say?*
*Apart from "Hallo, I'm David", obviously.
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no subject
Date: 2008-10-02 10:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-02 10:53 am (UTC)I've not really had much by way of rubbish lines, but a friend of mine (whom you may have met) did try the ol' "I'm a soldier and I'm going to Afghanistan tomorrow..." routine. At least one of the several girls did clock that he wouldn't be in Manchester half-drunk if that was the case, it's not fucking Armageddon [movie].
no subject
Date: 2008-10-02 10:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-02 10:55 am (UTC)Okay, fair enough, that's the hazards of the military, but when a minute later he mentions, "I hear you about overwork. I haven't gotten any in about four months, so basically unless you're into vomit or something else really kinky, I'm all good for getting a hotel room and not sleeping." EWWW.
Honorable mention to the time I was wearing a chinese dress as a LARP costume and my drunken husband tried to get me to put out for a fistful of baht (Thai currency) and a pack of Marlboros. I laughed at the time, but still smacked him upside the head.
no subject
Date: 2008-10-02 10:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-02 10:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-02 10:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-02 10:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-02 10:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-02 11:01 am (UTC)She seemed quite disappointed when I said no.
no subject
Date: 2008-10-02 11:10 am (UTC)Not mucky, but lots of bleeped swearing.
no subject
Date: 2008-10-02 11:46 am (UTC)gotta love the Maury
no subject
Date: 2008-10-02 11:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-02 11:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-02 12:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-02 12:56 pm (UTC)The girl I went off with at the end however responded to my question (and the very first thing I said to her): "Ninjas or robots?" with "Dude! Ninjas!"
JmC
Yes, I went speed dating
no subject
Date: 2008-10-02 01:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-02 01:21 pm (UTC)JmC
There's a "courting" joke in there somewhere
no subject
Date: 2008-10-02 01:27 pm (UTC)Whilst I do like Pirates...
Date: 2008-10-02 01:28 pm (UTC)Dude. Ninjas. (see http://drmcninja.com/ for evidence).
JmC
Pirates are only cool because of Johnny Depp
no subject
Date: 2008-10-02 01:30 pm (UTC)Re: foolish boy
Date: 2008-10-02 01:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-02 01:33 pm (UTC)JmC
And in the darkness they have any number of ninjary-babes.
Re: *Pirate supporter all the way*
Date: 2008-10-02 01:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-02 01:46 pm (UTC)And you can't argue with science.