Ninjas or pirates?

[davywavy]

baloobas has expressed the opinion that not only are pirates cooler than ninjas, but as you can't see ninjas that makes it impossible to have sex with them.

Well, although this would this make one of the most innovative courtroom defenses I've ever heard of, I think it may be refuted thus:



But what do you think of this pressing issue?

Comments

[flywingedmonkey.livejournal.com]

What do I think?

She crazy, man!

JmC
Bulletproof defence

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Girls are, you know.

Ew, girls.

Re: *finds a really sharp knife*

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

The only logical, scientific way to resolve this is to use a method widely accepted as being authoritative - check google to see how many web pages there are listed about each subject.
There are 12,100,000 pages about ninjas and over 80,000,000 about pirates.

Dammit, you may be right.

The milk tray man was a ninja,

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

You can't tell me he wasn't sexy.

Re: The milk tray man was a pervert stalker

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

But they were chocolates! In the great game of seduction, surely chocolates trump obsessive stalking?

Re: *finds a really sharp knife*

[flywingedmonkey.livejournal.com]

You'd rather be boffed by a fat, bearded, one-handed, unwashed drunk than a taut Master of the Silent Arts? (He'd be silent, not you...)

Well, fair play to ya, lass. You'll make a lot of one-handed roleplayers very happy...

JmC
And make a lot twin wristed ones cut their hands off to be in with a shot

Re: *finds a really sharp knife*

[flywingedmonkey.livejournal.com]

Thems two are exceptions, my girl. And if we're talking exceptions then BATMAN (Christian Bale) is a Ninja...

Bluebeard, Captain Hook, Captain Pugwash are more yer generic standard.

So, he says, would you prefer a GENERIC pirate or a GENERIC ninja?

JmC
I, of course, would like the ninja girls in any number of Hollywood films

Re: *finds a really sharp knife*

[flywingedmonkey.livejournal.com]

You cannot dodge my question with your illogic. No ninja are you.

ANSWER!!

JmC
I'm Batman and I can breath in space

Re: *finds a really sharp knife*

[elbly.livejournal.com]

If you look at this logically:

Ninja's = obsessive learning
Pirates = obsessive rum

Obsessive learning = uber geek whose mum still buys his y-fronts
Obsessive rum = beer goggles

Uber geek = lots of dull
Beer goggles = more fun than you can handle

Therefore, I surmise that the preferred generic option is a Ninja-Pirate. A perfect hybrid of two extremes. A human being who is prone to periods of extreme seriousness followed by bouts of the crazies, one who will hide away, dedicating their time and soul to the perfection of their art, followed by a serious quantity of rum and the lash...

[nicnac.livejournal.com]

Hmm. I think not being able to see the thing you're having sex with hasn't stopped the 'heroines' in lots of awful porn horror films... so I've heard, anyway. Ahem.

Come to think of it, wasn't Sig Weaver being felt up by something invisible in Ghostbusters at one point?

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Probably a ninja, I'd suspect.

[nicnac.livejournal.com]

That has to be the fastest reply in the history of LJ - it binged into my inbox before I'd even left your post!

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

There's a double-entendre in there - and I like it.

[rssefuirosu.livejournal.com]

Ninjas are dishonourable, at least pirates have a code. As a ronin, I must begrudgingly side with pirates.

[fonnparr.livejournal.com]

I can see a few problems with pirates, while the lack of depth perception from having an eye patch may not be too much of an issue, the hooked hand would probably be painful, and nobody should be asked "who's a pretty boy then?" outside Wandsworth.

[sea-cucumber.livejournal.com]

Invisible things can be dangerous too...