Don't look behind the curtain.

[davywavy]

Tom Stoppard's play Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are dead is one of those pieces of work which is just so irritating clever and funny that I really want to hate it. Unfortunately it's so clever and funny that I can't hate it and instead really like it, which just perversely irritates me all the more.
The plot of the play posits that minor characters in Hamlet have lives going on in the background as interesting as those the play is about, and their intereaction with the scenes in hamlet lend a new meaning to Shakespeares original work.
Like I say, it's damn clever and I wish I could write things like that.

Wierdly, I was watching Bob Guccione's production of Caligula the other day and similarities between that and R&C are dead started to suggest themslves to me. I don't know if you know the story behind it as a film; back in the late 1970's, Bob Guccione, owner of Penthouse magazine and its surrounding media empire, had amassed a great fortune and set aside US$20m (about US$50m in today's money) to make a movie which would give him respectability as an artist and not just a peddlar of smut. He assembled an a-list cast and crew including a script by Gore Vidal, director Tinto Brass, and Sir John Gielgud, Peter O'Toole, and Malcom McDowell and filming commenced.
What Guccione didn't tell any of the big names is that when filming for the day had finished, he was sneaking back onto set later with a cameraman and a bevy of Penthouse lovelies and filming graphic orgies which he then edited into the main film, much to the surprise and dismay of most of the cast and crew when it was released. Gore Vidal and Tinto Brass disowned the film and refused ever to have anything to do with it again, although Malcolm McDowell, aghast at the time, thirty years later apparently finds the whole thing hilarious.
It's a rotten film. Where scenes might have taken 2-3 minutes to get their point across they've been edited into orgies, so you get The Scene Where Tiberius Tries to Poison Caligula (in the middle of an orgy), or The Scene Where Caligula Taunts The Pretorian Guard (in the middle of an orgy), or The Scene Where Caligula Is Killed (in the mioddle of an orgy). I tell you, it was non-stop orgies in Rome.

I never thought I could get bored of orgies, but after an hour or two of this I was counting the minutes. However, during this distraction I got to thinking; just how much better - or at least different - many films would be if they had orgies edited in without the knowledge of the lead actors?

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull:
Spielberg: Okay, Harrison, we doing the scene of you going to the house. You open the door and we just want a reaction shot as you see that the family is comprised of just dummies. Then we'll cut to you running from the house in fear, okay? Okay? Action! (Twenty minutes later). OKay, that's a wrap. Thanks Harrison, just go back to your trailer..okay...okay...Has he gone? Has he? Okay! Fluffer on set!

Downfall:
Director: Okay; Himmler, Goering and Schirach are going into Hitlers office to be yelled out. What we're going to shoot is the three of you marching into the office, there's be some screaming from the other side of the door, and then you'll march out looking chastened. Okay? Action! (Twenty minutes later). That's great guys, just great. Call it a day. okay? Okay? Have they gone? They have? Okay! Dwarfs with whips and rubber masks on set!

Flash Gordon:
Director: Okay, Brian, today we'll just be getting some reaction shots from you; I want you looking angry, concerned and very happy in that order. Maybe you could shout something?
Brian Blessed: DIVE!!!!

Any more?

Comments

[madwitch.livejournal.com]

There used to be a club night called Caligula, which I used to go to, and at which they usually had Caligula playing, projected on to a wall. We went there for my birthday one year, and there is a wonderful photo of me and Rhona talking to Matt Notcutt, who has the most horrified expression on his face.
This is because R and I had our backs to the film, and he had looked up mid sentence to find himself watching the whipped cream anal fisting scene.
It was one of those perfect moments.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Lets put it like this: It's not a film I plan to watch twice.

[madwitch.livejournal.com]

I've kind of seen it several times, they did show it every week. That, and Salon Kitty (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0075163/), which features the most ridiculous merkins you are ever likely to see.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

You know what? I'm not even going to click on that link. Something tells me not to.

[madwitch.livejournal.com]

It's an IMDB page, it's fine.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Oh, you Satanic temptress of linkspam!

[madwitch.livejournal.com]

It's worth seeing, if only for the hilarious merkins. IMDB has no photos of them, sadly.

[(Anonymous)]

Dances with Wolves
Director: Okay, Mr Costner, your character's been accepted into the tribe and in this scene we're going to shoot you disappearing into the Great Tipi for the final initiation ceremony, it's going to be a very momentous occasion, big John Barry score, you're kinda honored but a bit nervous too. Can you give us that? That's great, cut, okay. That's a wrap. Has he gone? Terrific. Okay. Ah... Mr Barry, you know that lounge music you used to write in the Seventies?

H

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

Rainbow (the TV program)
It would have explained everything so much more clearly.

[applez.livejournal.com]

just how much better - or at least different - many films would be if they had orgies edited in without the knowledge of the lead actors?

The mind boggles...

Aliens, The Truman Show, and other seemingly unlikely candidates all spring to mind.

[diamondkelt.livejournal.com]

Servant: My Lord, the actors have arrived.

Hamlet: Buzz, buzz.

[zenicurean.livejournal.com]

And it would be the best version of Mary Poppins ever filmed.

[ddraiggwyrdd.livejournal.com]

Ignoring the main point of your post and tagging onto Tom Stoppard, have you read or seen "Arcadia". The intricate nuances of meaning in almost every conversation are amazing. I read this with my eldest daughter when she was doing it at A level and we discussed and discussed it in great depth, both of us expanding our understanding of it all the time. The upshot of that was when my daughter gave in her essays on it the teacher refused to beleive they were her own work and desperatly tried to prove she'd plagerised it all. Probably hadn't read it in such depth herself and couldn't accept a student had.
This awesome writer was then responsible for "Shakespear in Love". What a come down. Now that could have done with a few orgies.
Any Jane Austen as a film script could do with a few orgies too. So could "The Sound of Music". And Titanic.I'll stop there.