If your name isn't on the list, then you are getting in.

[davywavy]

"Blimey, I feel awful."
"What's up?"
"Stinking cold. I think I've got Swine Flu and Bird Flu both at once."
"Yeah, and pigs might fly."

In the news today is the release of the 'banned list'; that list of persons who the government has decided are undesirable and have refused entry into the UK in the last few months. It's a fairly predictable bunch of folks; mostly nutters (bearded or shaven) of one denomination or political creed or another. However, I'm not sure we should be banning anyone from visiting the UK on the basis of their stated opinions. I'm a big fan of free speech and I'm just fine with any of these swivel-eyed loonies spouting their nonsense just so long as the rest of us can stand round them pointing, laughing and chanting "You're a wanker, you are, you are."
But still, discussing this government's impressively shoddy performance on things like civil liberties and free speech is somewhat redundant so instead I'll throw this post open to the floor:
If you were compiling a banned list, who would you ban from the UK? And who would you throw out if they're already here? Entertain me.

Comments

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

How about Gordon? He can be banned; he keeps flying elsewhere, he can stay there!

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

That does imply that someone else might want him though.

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

Darn, a good point.

Just think, no doubt when he's finished he'll go around on the motivational speech circuit as a financial adviser!

Oh my sides, how they split.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Nah; he'll do a John Major and try to re-invent himself as an writer and commentator. At least Major had the advantage of being an essentially decent chap (albeit badly out of his depth).

[gnommi.livejournal.com]

I totally agree with you.
I would ban most of the Labour party I'm afraid, as being detrimental to the interests of the country.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Look on teh bright side; the left is, once again, expended as a political force in this country for a generation. I suspect that every so often a new generation grows up, believes the touchy-feely bobbins, and feels the urge to press their hand to the stove for as long as they can take.

[raggedhalo.livejournal.com]

Can we please not delude ourselves that the Labour Party is left-wing? It's the Thatcherite economic policies they've pursued since '97 that have led them to mess up so spectacularly.

Ban politicians, burn down the Houses Of Parliament* and let's start over.


*: not in an "incitement to terrorist activity" kinda way

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Given that the last Chancellor to present a balaced budget was a Thatcherite one and the spectacular mess we're in compared to similar economies is largely due to the colossal public sector liabilities, I think there's an inherent flaw in your reasoning.

[raggedhalo.livejournal.com]

I was talking about the policies, not Brown's competence.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I beleive Thatcherite policy was to balance the budget - I hardly think that Brown could be accused of even vaguely trying to emulate that one.

[(Anonymous)]

Plus, Fatcha was ousted but the EUrophiles on her own party, whereas both Bliar and teh Broon rolled over and took it from teh 'EU'

And Broon had the sense to avoid any sort of exhange rate lock...

Complicated, innit?

[gnommi.livejournal.com]

The trajectory of this government reminds me a bit of Animal Farm

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I found it astounding that the chorus of sheep, whilst diminished, is still bleating like billy-oh.

[raggedyman.livejournal.com]

having checked out the list I'm not too worried about it as we literally can't afford to let most of those people in and we don't really lose any freedom of speech by not doing so. For example the Phelps will cause the need for a heavy police presence and I'd really rather not have to pay for 30+ cops, sniffer dogs, and all those flashing lights just so some yank can say "i don't like gay people" when we have plenty of home grown biggots saying exactly the same thing already.

As for who to add to the list:
Coldplay
Linux evangelists
Daily Mail readers
Anyone who calls themselves "Scene"
Anyone who objects to the removal of Coldplay

The rest can come and go as they please, as long as they remember to wipe their feet and try to have some level of respect & appreciation for our native cuisine.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Why on earth would we need to pay for police protection for Phelps? If he comes here and someone biffs him on the nose, then he's really got nobody to blame but himself.

[colonel-maxim.livejournal.com]

Or even better, if someone provokes him to biff someone else on the nose, we can arrest him.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Sounds like nose-biffing is the solution du jour for radicals of all stripes.

[blue-cat.livejournal.com]

Because the reason that nastly little lot are still going is that 11/71 or so of them are lawyers and sue the shit out of anyone who edges close to the law in infringing their god-given-rights.

Besides, they would snarl up the traffic and cause general petty angst and heartburn in so many people.

In a really rather peverted sense I quite like having people like that in the world ~ you can point to them and explain that is a Bad Thing, they are soooo easy to take the piss out of, so easy to find fault with and are very very clear cut & open about what they do.

Its the ones who you find yoruself 95% in agreement with until they come out with that 5% of moral sewage that cause problems!

[raggedyman.livejournal.com]

because that's still assault, and the police try and stop that sort of thing (yes, even for Phelps). They also try and stop the bombings, shootings, and other large scale acts of violence that have been threatened against him.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

It is indeed assault, but I see no reason why he should be surrounded with plod before it happens.

[zenicurean.livejournal.com]

I'd retroactively ban a zombie Benny Hill. He'd have to seek shelter on the Continent, thereby improving the comedic writing standards of both the UK and the rest of Europe.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

You hardly need to, when there's Mike Myers busily recycling all his jokes.
Unfortunately Myers ran out of Hill's best jokes in 1996, and is now recycling the worst ones.

[colonel-maxim.livejournal.com]

I must say that I am entirely with you on this. I want to invite the ranters and nutters from around the world so that we can mock them with enhanced mockety-mock attachments. I was so looking forward to the Westboro lot being confronted by a horde of Brighton drag queens...

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

"The thing the devil fears most is your laughter".

[colonel-maxim.livejournal.com]

'And holy chain-guns with silver bullets and a holy water sprinkler.'

[raggedyman.livejournal.com]

thank would be pure comedy gold :-)

[glummdead.livejournal.com]

I would kick out...

The Jams?

[gnommi.livejournal.com]

and now I hear the ghost of Tammy Wynette sweetly piping...

[colonel-maxim.livejournal.com]

Still, if we are going to start a list:-
Max Stafford,
Clive 'I've never seen a criminal I thought was guilty' Stafford-Smith,
Any non-Briton who is convicted of a serious offence, no matter which particular hell-hole on earth we are sending them back to...
That will do for now, as I have to catch a train to New York...

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

When are you back to civilisation?

[colonel-maxim.livejournal.com]

2nd June. Then not back to work until late July whoot!

[vulgarcriminal.livejournal.com]

All of our UK friends. Because they are dangerous.....