"This is a skating rink, not a hold onto the side rink."

[davywavy]

Something I've meant to do for the last few years is go ice-skating on the rink which is built in the courtyard at Somerset House on the bank of the Thames. Whenever I've seen skating on the television it always looks dead easy, so I figured that it must be worth a go. The people in the winter Olympics or James Bond in On her majesty's secret service go zooming about over the ice looking generally swanky, and in my head my imagination assumed I'd be doing much the same. I'd whizz about a bit and perform the odd triple axle before swooshing to a dramatic stop to coos of admiration from a group of willowy blonde girls with bobble-hats and rosy-cold cheeks who seem to hang round winter sports facilities.

Finally, I got round to going the other day. As it turned out my imagination completely lied to me (as usual) and I could have saved myself a heck of a lot of time by taking all the ice cubes out of the fridge, sitting on them for half an hour, and then painting my arse purple.

Ow.

Comments

[twicedead.livejournal.com]

Did you at least manage to collide with said willowy blonde girls?

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Yes. But, alas, never deliberately.

[twicedead.livejournal.com]

I hear that screaming in fear for your life whilst your arms windmill is actually an ancient and primal mating call that cannot be resisted.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Funnily, it usually works pretty well for me on the dancefloor.

[gnommi.livejournal.com]

you and quite a lot of other people :D

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I'm a fine, fine dancer. I'm so good that last time I went clubbing I had complete strangers taking photographs.

[gnommi.livejournal.com]

That's ok as long as it wasn't Desmond Morris

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Nah, it was just some students. So I suppose pictures of me flailing around like A Man Called Horse are now somewhere on Facebook, with any number of disparaging comments.

[karohemd.livejournal.com]

Oh yes, ice skating is a lot trickier than it looks. My hometown's ice hockey stadium/ice rink is 800 yards from my parents' house so I was subjected to it from a young age (and during PE classes in school) and I never really got the hang of it because my sense of balance has always been bad and gliding freaks me out.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I have to admit to a certain amount of hubris in assuming that my incredible Tai Chi ninja balance would be significantly more use than it was.

[twicedead.livejournal.com]

[karohemd.livejournal.com]

I guess it's because the rooted to the spot bit is negated by the movement and the need to glide.

[annwfyn.livejournal.com]

Oh! If I'd known you were going I'd have come with you. I love skating. I'm quite good at nursing people around the ice as well. Next time, text me. I've saved your number to my phone now and everything.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I had to suffer the utter humilation of watching the she-David zooming around the ice whilst I stood, not daring to move, whimpering "Don't let go of me!"

I assume she only took me as an excuse to get me to hold her hand.

[annwfyn.livejournal.com]

My brother-in-law and I had a similar experience with my sister, who's quite a nervous skater. We ended up leading her around, with both of us holding a hand whilst she shook in terror.

Then he abandoned us both to go and show off. He's one of those very annoying people who zoom around at high speed, occasionally throwing up sprays of ice.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

The worst bit of it was that I kinda assumed that being pretty good at the ol' kung fu would be a transferable skill, and my horror when I found it wasn't really threw me.

Anyway: Saturday?

[annwfyn.livejournal.com]

Yes! Definitely. I've just been paid as well (and a vast sum of money due to starting work at new job whilst technically being on holiday but still at old job), so can afford to get stuff at Borough.

And it's been too long since I've had one of their cheese sandwiches.

[ginasketch.livejournal.com]

You fought against the ice, didn't you?

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I fought the ice, and my arse lost.

[nicnac.livejournal.com]

Sounds like a chilling experience.

Sorry!

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Your humour leaves me numb.

[(Anonymous)]

I expect you had piles of fun

H

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

When I was told skating was fun, it was a bum steer.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

It certainly put roses in my cheeks.