Lines on the prosecution of Elliot Morley, MP, for false accounting under the theft act.

[davywavy]

To the tune of 'Common People' by Pulp. With apologies to Jarvis Cocker, not that I think he'd mind.

He came from Scunthorpe and he worked for Hull City,
He saw how much cash was kept in the kitty
There was loads, he could tell
He saw the taxpayer was loaded,
He saw that for his wallet this boded
It boded well
And so come election time, he said

"I want to be House of Commons people,
I want to spend like Commons people do,
I want to buy like Commons people,
I want to sponge like Commons people,
Off you."

And what else did he do?

He claimed a trip to the supermarket,
I don't know why but he had to start it somewhere,
So it started there.
They said you can claim on expenses,
Even receipts you submit on pretences
He said "Yeah?
Well I won’t make any trouble for Blair."

This how you live like Commons people,
You can claim like Commons people do,
Just make sure you vote with Commons people,
Vote along with the Commons people,
For TB.
And he obeyed the whips command;
He just smiled and held out his hand.

Always vote the party line,
‘cos you haven’t got a spine.
Never stand out from the crowd,
‘cos dissent is not allowed.
If constituents complain
Your seat is safe so don’t explain
Don’t dare oppose the premier
Because you’d risk your ministry career

And so he lived like Commons people,
And he did what Commons people do,
Gordon Brown ignores the Commons people,
When you vote, you’re told just what to do,
So he put his expenses through,
Because there's nothing else to do.

Comments

[aiwendel.livejournal.com]

*sings*

Excellent! :)

[(Anonymous)]

I think I'll open a vein.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Oh, I thought it was rather funny.

[(Anonymous)]

The subject matter isn't. Socialism, like prison rape, is only funny when it happens to someone else.

[(Anonymous)]

I feel obliged to point out that the Expenses system was set up by Mrs T;
designed, very reasonably it seems to me, to make up up for the dreadful pay we dole out those we expect to be our incorruptible founts of Law.

We find it very funny because the pompous hypocrites spend their lives telling us what to do. Real complaint is that they were cowardly enough to believe they could get away with pretending to have a crap wage, instead of demanding back in the '80s to be given the proper remuneration for the job.

D

[(Anonymous)]

And IR35 increased the difference between tax & expense regimes experienced by joe public & our rulers.

Until they have to comply with the same rules as the rest of us, how can they understand our condition?

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I'm aware of the politicla expedient of lower salaries; I tackled it years ago: http://davywavy.livejournal.com/338559.html

I'm just ahead of the curve pretty much every time.