I'll promise anything. Anything at all.

[davywavy]

I tidied my bedroom yesterday. You know how it is - I woke up and looked at it and thought "Great God, this place is a tip. It needs tidying"; so I waited six months but nobody else did it so I had to.
As I busied myself about the place with my pinafore and duster, I got to thinking about Gordon Brown's promise to provide free home care for the elderly if he wins the next election. Obviously that's not a policy for me, but I have to say if he offered a free home tidying service for the bloody lazy that'd be a vote winner in my household.

So; question for the day. What policy could any political party offer as a piece of outrageous vote-buying what would make you think "Ah! That's a winner!"?

Comments

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

Buy my house for me; that'd do it nicely, oh yeah, and if they want the locals they can sort my double glazing ;)

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

This is true. Why are we only bailing out banks? Why not bail out everyone? Mortgage payers, people who've run up debts at the bookies, that man who left his wallet down the pub the other day. Once we've done that, we can bail out pets. And then we can ringfence funds on the offchance of discovering some down-at-heel Martians who need bailing out as well.

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

Exactly; what's a few hundred thousand more when the country already owes so much? I'm worth it :)

[danfossydan.livejournal.com]

There is a simpson's episode of house tidying service where he stands for mayor on the ground that he'll get the town council to empty everyones bins, and tidy up their houses as they go.

May be this is something local government can do for us! Not Gordon brown!

I HATE cleaning. And I hate folding laundry. If they gave Tax relief on all home help that would be a good thing. (but I'd like to see tax relief on private education and medical care too... which Gordon Brown would never do...)

[zenicurean.livejournal.com]

Subsidise my blogging with generous government paychecks, issued per every journal update.

[annwfyn.livejournal.com]

Citizen's wage. £10k per year, no matter what. That means I'll be poor enough that I'll want to work (because I like nice things) but have enough that I don't have to work if it starts making my brain bleed.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I did some sums a few years ago which apeared to show that if you shut down the entire welfare state you could afford to give everyone in the country £5k a year and then just let them get on with it.
Alas, given that we're looking at 20% spending cuts across the board, even 4k p.a. is now probably unfeasable.
Still, that's 33% or so more than the dole, but you'd have to pay your rent and get medical insurance out of that as well.

[(Anonymous)]

I saw a snippet in Private Eye's "Funny Old World" a while back; it was about a Russian Cruise line offering trips in some Queen Maryalike, in which the oligarchs get to cruise temptingly up and down a few miles off the Somalian coast. The draw being that the passengers are provided with the latest in designer deathware to massacre the poor pirates as they yo ho ho up (and a platoon of GRU Spetsnatz are on hand in case the passengers can't shoot straight).

Obviously I am booked for next year, but it occurs to me that the Govt. could provide subsidised Death Squads a la Brazil for those who can't afford their own. A quick call, a black van roars up and the local chavs/laylandii growers/anybody you hate are drowning in their own blood.

I'm sure it would be terribly popular, plus solve the population problem and save money on shipping our boys off to Afghanistan to do it.

D

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

The lefty atmosphere in the house of your youth really shines forth at times, you know. For true effect you could call the above policy 'Equality for all', or maybe 'Sure start', just for full Harriet Harman credientials.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I have to say, I think that is a pretty good policy overall. Not perfect, but one of the best short-term solutions for raising fast cash to tackle the deficit I've heard.

[(Anonymous)]

They have to give existing stockholders loads of options or it's a vote loser.

There's 3.1m of them.

[diamondkelt.livejournal.com]

Hmmm I'd say free gas for 2 of the 4 years they are in office lol.

That's so outrageous and dang impossible to even offer.
OH I KNOW!
Government sponsored healthcare!!
Oh wait.......they're already attempting that one and it's failing miserably.
Sad panda.