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[personal profile] davywavy
There's an old Dilbert strip in which Dogbert, having become immensely wealthy, wanders around paying people large sums of money to roll round in muddy puddles for his entertainment whilst wondering how rich people can ever get bored. The power of paying people to humiliate themselves for my own entertainment is one I've dabbled in before now, such as the time I tried to pay [livejournal.com profile] token_limey and [livejournal.com profile] baloobas to spend most of the rest of their lives with their hands down a toilet, but I was pleased to see in the news the other day that an actual billionnaire has set about doing it on a large scale.
Alki David, Britain's 45th richest man, has set up a website called "Battlecam", on which he posts challenges like "Pour a bottle of water over your head", and "Shave off all your hair and dye your body blue", and then pays people who post up videos of themselves doing just that. He's recently hit the headlines by offering US$1m to the first person to streak in front of Barack Obama.

It's nice to see someone spending their money wisely.

Anyway, I was on the way to work yesterday when I saw a headline which I immediately assumed was another of of Mr. David's challenges; it was "£60,000 to listen to Gordon Brown speak". My reaction was to think "Sixty Grand? That's bit on the low side", but reading further I discovered it wasn't yet another whacky stunt of personal humiliation, but it was in fact a story that apparently Gordon Brown is asking for a £60,000 fee for speaking engagements.
That's right - he's expecting other people to pay him.

It explains a lot about the reasons for the deficit if Gordon Brown seriously thinks anyone will cough up sixty grand for the pleasure of hearing him drone on for an hour. The man plainly doesn't know the value of a pound. However, thinking further it struck me that I would pay sixty thousand to hear Brown speak if only I could decide what he'd be saying. If he was giving his usual witless prattle about "Post Neoclassical Endogenous Growth Theory" and "Prudence", then it'd be a shocking waste of perfectly good moolah. On the other hand, if he was saying "God, please, no, not the pliers again", and "Aaaaaaaaaaaargh, my bottom!", then it'd certainly be money well spent.

Date: 2010-08-20 10:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sherbetsaucers.livejournal.com
Ahhh Dave, I do so look forward to your LJ Entries.

Date: 2010-08-20 10:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
They bring a glimmer of light into the darkness of your life, right?

Date: 2010-08-20 11:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sherbetsaucers.livejournal.com
More they remind me that I'm not all that bad after all.

Date: 2010-08-20 11:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
Comedy posts about Gordon Brown having something appalling done to his bottom not your cup of tea, then?

Date: 2010-08-20 11:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sherbetsaucers.livejournal.com
Just in general. ;)

The irony of posts about rectal torture being fine, as long as naughty words aren't used, is not wasted on you I trust!

Date: 2010-08-20 11:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
Bottoms are funny. It's an eternal truth, like Pi or thermodynamics.

Date: 2010-08-20 11:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sherbetsaucers.livejournal.com
No argument from me sir! Joist pointing out the juxtaposition created by your bottom.

Date: 2010-08-20 11:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
See? Using the words "juxtaposition" and "bottom" in teh same sentence is humourous in itself!

Date: 2010-08-20 11:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sherbetsaucers.livejournal.com
It was also done with intended comic effect. You know you're not the only person who tries to be funny here, right?

Date: 2010-08-20 02:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
I'm looking forward to succeeding one of these days.

Date: 2010-08-20 02:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sherbetsaucers.livejournal.com
Yeah, that days going to be AMAZING.

Date: 2010-08-20 02:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
Did you know that Edison tried thousands of possible ideas before he invented the lightbulb? I'm like that with jokes.

Date: 2010-08-20 02:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sherbetsaucers.livejournal.com
And you're also bad for the environment. Perfect!

Date: 2010-08-20 12:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flywingedmonkey.livejournal.com
A million dollars to waggle my naughty bits at Barack Obama? I'd TOTALLY do that! The guy does pay, right? I don't want to be pounded by the security services then get sod all...

JmC
Happy BIRTHday... Mister President

Date: 2010-08-20 12:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
Yes, apparently he does pay.

See you in the news section. All of you.

Date: 2010-08-20 12:56 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Let's subcontract Robert to do it for £50

H

Date: 2010-08-20 04:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fonnparr.livejournal.com
"Barack Obama" is not meant to be an instruction.

Date: 2010-08-22 06:07 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Now much for arresting the Pope?

Date: 2010-08-23 05:35 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
I understand Dawkins is offering to foot the bill.

DOD

Date: 2010-08-24 07:19 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
He doesn't believe in money.

Date: 2010-08-24 08:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
Of course he does!
As he doesn't serve God, the only alternative is Mammon.

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