A moment of your time, if I may.
Nov. 4th, 2002 11:34 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
davywavyThere was a person I knew at University by the name of Andy. Andy was one of those people who just wants everyone to like him. He’d follow you about, laugh at every one of your jokes, good naturedly endure any abuse or insult, freely give of his time or money, all in the pursuit of being your friend. All he wanted, so much, was for everyone to like him.
Naturally, everyone, without any exception I ever met, despised him.
It was watching Andy that taught me a valuable lesson. Namely that one should never, ever subsume yourself to the desire to be liked or accepted if it means making sacrifices in your own personal integrity or to yourself. To submit yourself to the expectations of others (or what you think the expectations of others are), to be false to yourself to gain acceptance, is never worth it as people don’t respect you for it. After all, if someone doesn’t like you, it’s no loss – there are 5,999,999,999 other people out there and some of them are bound to be okay.
It also taught me something else. From watching Andy, I moved onto watching others, and realised how futile taking active dislikes or grudges was. I’ve seen people pour time and emotional energy into actively furthering their own grudges, but what does it get them? Does anyone come out of such agendas from having had fun?
It’s a difficult philosophy to pursue, but I try. If I like someone, I‘ll seek them out as their company is rewarding in some way. If I dislike them I simply won’t seek them out and, if it’s convenient, I’ll try to ignore and avoid them rather than setting out to pursue them aggressively.
There are people who I like more than they like me. I find it a shame, as I’d like more of their time and won’t get it. There are people who I’d rather not waste time on, but it’d be difficult to live my life and conveniently avoid them and so I live with that too.
Thus I wonder, when I people watch (something I do a lot), why people seem so desperate to be accepted by others who won’t accept them. Why so many people are prepared to pretend to be other than what they are in order to have friends. And why, when things go wrong, so many people are prepared to expend time and effort and emotional energy in vitriol and spite, when just leaving and doing something fun is so much more rewarding.
In a moment, I’d like you to stop reading and look away from the screen.
Look at a clock for a few moments.
Watch the hands.
Every tick of that clock is a tick from your life. An irreplaceable instant that you will never have again, an instant shaved from your time on Earth.
All too soon, you will be dead.
I can guarantee you one thing.
In your last moments in this life, you will not lie on your deathbed wishing that you had spent more time with people who you didn’t like, doing things you didn’t enjoy.
What are you going to do about it?
Good morning, everyone.
Naturally, everyone, without any exception I ever met, despised him.
It was watching Andy that taught me a valuable lesson. Namely that one should never, ever subsume yourself to the desire to be liked or accepted if it means making sacrifices in your own personal integrity or to yourself. To submit yourself to the expectations of others (or what you think the expectations of others are), to be false to yourself to gain acceptance, is never worth it as people don’t respect you for it. After all, if someone doesn’t like you, it’s no loss – there are 5,999,999,999 other people out there and some of them are bound to be okay.
It also taught me something else. From watching Andy, I moved onto watching others, and realised how futile taking active dislikes or grudges was. I’ve seen people pour time and emotional energy into actively furthering their own grudges, but what does it get them? Does anyone come out of such agendas from having had fun?
It’s a difficult philosophy to pursue, but I try. If I like someone, I‘ll seek them out as their company is rewarding in some way. If I dislike them I simply won’t seek them out and, if it’s convenient, I’ll try to ignore and avoid them rather than setting out to pursue them aggressively.
There are people who I like more than they like me. I find it a shame, as I’d like more of their time and won’t get it. There are people who I’d rather not waste time on, but it’d be difficult to live my life and conveniently avoid them and so I live with that too.
Thus I wonder, when I people watch (something I do a lot), why people seem so desperate to be accepted by others who won’t accept them. Why so many people are prepared to pretend to be other than what they are in order to have friends. And why, when things go wrong, so many people are prepared to expend time and effort and emotional energy in vitriol and spite, when just leaving and doing something fun is so much more rewarding.
In a moment, I’d like you to stop reading and look away from the screen.
Look at a clock for a few moments.
Watch the hands.
Every tick of that clock is a tick from your life. An irreplaceable instant that you will never have again, an instant shaved from your time on Earth.
All too soon, you will be dead.
I can guarantee you one thing.
In your last moments in this life, you will not lie on your deathbed wishing that you had spent more time with people who you didn’t like, doing things you didn’t enjoy.
What are you going to do about it?
Good morning, everyone.
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Re: Profound
Date: 2002-11-10 02:33 pm (UTC)Everyone succumbs to peer pressure, one way or another - heaven knows I did.
Eventually, I hope everyone gets over it.