[Roleplaying] So, let me tell you...

[davywavy]

Looking back through the mists of history, you might think I'd find it difficult to identify my least favourite thing about the time I spent running the CamUK. Would it be the slowly dawning realisation that Monty had sold me a pup when he talked me into the job? Or maybe the evenings spent trying to mediate in disputes between people which could easily have been solved by them acting like grownups, buying each other a drink and shaking hands? Or maybe it was watching people treat a four-star hotel like a Youth Hostel and then (literally) screaming when asked not to?
So many choices.

However, it was none of those things. It was the quiet moments when I'd got a few minutes to myself and was sitting, quietly contemplating the world, when I'd see someone heading at me with a purposeful gait and a familiar gleam in their eye and I'd think: Ah, crap. They want to tell me about their character.
The thing about roleplaying is that it is a hobby of shared experience, and that results in people wanting to share their experiences with others who weren't there at the time. And that leads to the problem: There are many great moments to be had when gaming with a group of like-minded friends, and not one of those moments will be even slightly entertaining when told to the people who weren't there. I could tell you about the game I was at shortly after I had surgery in 2005 when I laughed so hard my stitches came open and I had to go back to hospital (try explaining that one to a nurse), or about Hurrah for St Custards during which I laughed so hard I actually stopped breathing. But I won't tell you about those things, because if you weren't there than the stories would be quite risibly dull - and the problem is that after creating stories, gamers tend to want to share them. And nobody in their right mind wants to hear them. I remember meeting Gary Gygax back in 2000, and as I wandered over to him he took on a wary expression that I was later to come to realise well. He was terrified that the conversation he was about to have with me would feature the words "Hard Dwarf".

Knights of the Dinner Table actually has a column titled "Tales from the table" in which they invite readers to tell their entertaining gaming stories, and I think it's a move of marketing genius to engage with their audience in this way. It's still far and away the most tedious and dull part of the magazine, though. My sister and I entertain each other by reading the stories out in redneck and Midwestern accents and saying "Hyuk hyuk hyuk" a lot during them.

And with this in mind I have a challenge for all the gamers reading - and I know there are a few of you. Tell me an *entertaining* story about your character. I don't believe it is actually possible - certainly I've never seen anyone do it, and I've sat through a hell of a lot of brain-numbing tales of just how cool people's characters are. Some of them were Werewolf: The Apocalypse players, and I speak as a connoisseur of awful character stories that theirs are the most tedious of the bunch*.

So. Go ahead. Entertaining RP stories. The floor is yours.

^{*Really. Really. Jesus, but stories about werewolf characters are so ****ing dull.}

Comments

[twicedead.livejournal.com]

Werewolf stories are the best.

We were all going to ... [insert story here] ... and then we ripped it limb from limb. Hooray!

Werewolf stories are even better because you are meant to tell the stories in character. Indeed I once told a story sooo long that people never let me tell a story again.

Generally I only have a policy of retelling roleplaying tales where people were involved in the game somehow - these things only matter if you have an emotional stake in them. When you tell someone about your character you don't have any time to create an emotional stake in that character's story - and therefore it is unutterably dull.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

That's the thing - it's a shared experience thing, so I can talk about things like hurrah for St Custards with the people who were there. The people who weren't simply are not - and never will be - interested in hearing about raggedy_man falling to his knees and shouting "Not in the face!"

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Werewolf stories are the best.

No. Really. I once had to share a train home for hours from some northern event with a werewolf player and in the end, when the train stopped at Grantham I said "This is my stop" and got off. It cost me an extra fifty quid for the extra ticket to actually get home, and it was worth every penny.

[madwitch.livejournal.com]

Oh, I remember that story well.

[madwitch.livejournal.com]

I can't play this game, because my favourite Cam story is still the one about the looks on everyone else's faces in that Spider/Cassidy scene, and you were there for that.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Was that the tonsil-hockey moment?

[danfossydan.livejournal.com]

I was trying to do X, and then Bob who I hate, cheated and did Y. Bob sucks.

Thats a typical story from Cam isn't it?

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

You forgot "And I want to lodge a formal complaint. I'll be ringing you about it, David".

My sister pointed out to me that I have my 'Camarilla voice', which sounds serious, caring and attentive that I used to use when talking on the phone. She could tell when I was talking about Camstuff as I'd use it every time.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I got a photo of that some months ago, but forgot to post it up here. I thought it hilarious.

[chrisvenus]

I think I am inclined to agree. Though I think general descriptions of games can be more interesting than specific moments of games (eg describing a cool setting). One of the coolest settings I played in will have lost its impact now. The game started out as sci-fi-ish but thigns started happening that clearly broke all the laws of physics. We were bamboozled until such time as we foudn out that we were all in a giant computer system that created our reality for us and that the bad guys pursuing us were programs in the computers... It would be an interesting setting to describe but then the matrix came along afterwards and the game can be summed up as "A bit like the matrix but without the genocidal AIs."

I'm always interested in character stories if they actually generally do something interesting and come with enough context to understand. The problem is that usually you don't have that context because you haven't played the game and maybe don't even know the setting.

Thinking about it its probably not dissimilar to describing a cool bit in a film you've seen that somebody else hasn't. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't...

In general though I'd be incliend to agree. (failing to cut a long story short there).

And I decline your challenge since I don't think I could entertain with an RP story. Though given your writing style I reckon you could. I think you should try at least. :)

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Thinking about it its probably not dissimilar to describing a cool bit in a film you've seen that somebody else hasn't. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't...

That's exactly right. I had someone describing an exciting action scene in a film they'd seen to me the other day, and eventually I slumped to the floor, numbed into unconsciousness. It was just like someone telling me about the time they rolled two natural twenties in a row.

[belak-krin.livejournal.com]

I think a number of issues come into play. Firstly, that being a roleplayer (or GM, DM or ST) does not make you an entertaining *storyteller*. Many of these 'hilarious' tales might actually be entertaining if told with the wit of a reasonable stand-up "so there we were at the gates of Mordor" isn't much different from "So the bouncer shows up and I'm still holding the inflatable sheep".

Unfortunately, you usually really *do* have to be there during my games and the hilarity tends to be largely ooc, such as Toby apparently losing the ability to speak, move or think after sampling robinbloke's 'get well' gin, or the previous session's suggestion that the plot must have been inspired by hard narcotics.

[borusa.livejournal.com]

I have an icon for this!

As a general rule, if you can tell an RPing story in one breath, please, go ahead. Otherwise, don't bother.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

That's really a rather good icon.

[godzuki.livejournal.com]

I think they key is that rp stories only sound interesting if you keep them to 1 sentence at most and not some rambling story in which you must describe the socio-political situation between the dwarves and elves, and how King Ballsaq's daughter was involved, along with her entire back story and how cool a shotgun you used to bugger her, which you got from that adventure in the mountains of ...

Well you see what I mean.

Even so, its never ever going to be as funny as it was at the time. At the end of the day, RP stories seem to be what people do when they have no other conversation ability or real life stories to tell...always [Deleted for security purposes]

[zenicurean.livejournal.com]

The royal trifecta for me is when they're having their little epic (the Tolkien kind where they have to describe the verdant rolling hills of Arghbargia a lot) about characters that I don't care about, pottering around a world I don't know anything about, with everything's run under a system that I don't play: "And our party entered the Throne Room of Depressing Clichés and slew an oogle boogle thing that was 40th level! Not ten, not twenty, but a real life 40th level oogle boogle thing, with a two-and-a-half dot damage reduction die modifier rating level trait! Oh lordy it was so grand!"

[calligrafiti.livejournal.com]

The "it's a gazebo" story was fairly entertaining, but, yet. Few match that. I'll give mine a try.

Back in university, I was in a game where we were 15th century knights. One of the characters (I'll call him "Bob," mostly because it's short) had a chance to search for some points building thing or other and went merrily on to do so.

GM: So you're riding out in full armor in 90 degree weather? [32C] Roll a 20 sided.
Bob: [rolls] Do I see it?
GM: Nope. Do you want to keep looking?
Bob: Yep!
GM: Roll the 20. Sure you don't want to do anything else?
Bob: [rolls] No, I keep on looking?
[this repeats for about 5 minutes]
GM: Yeah, so you just fainted from heat stroke. Roll again to see how much damage you took coming off the horse.

Which may or may not be funny to someone who wasn't there, but it does show something of what it's like to have a military history major for a GM.

[godzuki.livejournal.com]

I agree, stories about the stupidity of players are always funnier then the success of characters...

There was this time ...

[(Anonymous)]

our party were being chased by orcs, and to impede their pursuit, we polymorphed David's character into a cotton wool elephant and set it on fire. Man, it was fricking hilarious! You had to be there! Oh, wait, you were

H

Re: There was this time ...

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I knew, with the chill hand of certainty about my heart, that story would come out in the replies to this post.

[janewilliams20.livejournal.com]

Yes, there's a few inherent problems with the whole RPG story thing. Unless the setting is "here, current day", chances are your audience isn't familiar with it, so if the point of the story depends on something in the setting, you're sunk.
If you're telling a story, not writing it to be read, it has to be short. Short stories generally have one hero to focus on, not six, and there's a reason for that.
Any demo given here is by definition written, not spoken, so misses the point somewhat.
The nearest I can get to an RPG story that works is cheating: it's a description of a scenario that I never actually ran, as given by one of my PCs describing it as back-story. I have told this aloud, at a convention, and it worked, but there we all knew the background. It's Glorantha, if that means anything to you.
http://www.jane-williams.me.uk/glorantha/stories/peat.cfm

Not exactly an IC story but...

[(Anonymous)]

I'm a RL friend of sea_cucumber, that's why I'm one of your secret readers. But anyway, I used to play in the same Dorset Cam game as her, and one night before one particular game I decided to stop in the local J. S. Sainsbury (in a slightly less-then-salubrious part of town) for some props for my Brujah to use during the game.

I had a thing going where I'd use fruit to phys-rep weaponry, a baguette would be a shot-gun, a revolver would be represented by a banana, a rifle by a cucumber, a kiwi-fruit a grenade and so on*. Now obviously I was wearing a long leather trenchcoat at the time** and as I was standard comparing weapons^H^H^H^H^Hfruit, I slowly became aware that I was being followed by a member of staff through the shop.

Looking around, it turns out I knew the guy vaguely from one of the local tabletop groups. "'ello Mark" I said. "'ello Dave" he said. "What's up?" I said. "Oh nothing" he said. "Just came over to see how you were". Which of course wasn't the reason at all. Turns out the store Security staff watching me on CCTV as though I was some sort of psycho*** and were about to call in Dorset's finest to "help with enquiries" when the proverbial Mark told them that he actually knew who I was**** and that he'd go over and sort things out.

As it happens, I was never able to find an adequate five-a-day-based phys-rep for a chainsaw. And the particular branch was demolished shortly-afterwards. As was the relevant Cam game.

D.


* Like me, the Brujah was originally from Belfast, which I guess explains the weapon thing.

** I'm not responsible for anybody's cliche-meter exploding when reading this post.

*** I was 6' tall, well-built, shaved head, goatee, wearing all black with proper [Edited by moderator] boots and a trenchcoat, and look like a younger Anton Szandor La Vey, which apparently to some people is disturbing.

**** And that in reality I like to cuddle kittens.

[raggedhalo.livejournal.com]

I know a guy who works in my local RPG store and he shares your aversion. For him, it's people wanting to tell him about their Vampire character, but the feeling is the same.

I think LRP anecdotes are more viable than tabletop anecdotes. A friend of mine has a rule that he will only tell stories about other people - and that seems to work very well for him.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

My most perenially popular RP story is the "Richard Batty's Barbarian" story, so he may have a point.

Oooo oooh

[flywingedmonkey.livejournal.com]

As a Storyteller for Live Action Vampire I once got the prissy, formal Prince of the City to, along with his prissy, formal council and several prissy, formal visiting dignitaries to dance to Sir Mix-A-Lot's "I like Big Butts" to rid the area of pesky loa. At the behest of "Mambo Giovanni", no less. That was pretty funny...

JmC
My plots were not always the most serious

Re: Oooo oooh

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I must say, I have fond memories of Iscariot and his addicting people shenanigans. Amongst others, he addicted the Prince of Edinburgh to executing people, and he addicted Joe Rooney's Malkavian to "Running in circles screaming like a girl."

[beeblebear.livejournal.com]

Try this link.
http://theglen.livejournal.com/16735.html


For a taster:
1825 things Mr. Welch can no longer do during an RPG
1. Cannot base characters off the Who's drummer Keith Moon.
2. A one man band is not an appropriate bard instrument.
3. There is no Gnomish god of heavy artillery.
4. My 7th Sea character Boudreaux is not 'Southern' Montaigne.
5. Not allowed to blow all my skill points on 1pt professional skills.
6. Synchronized panicking is not a proper battle plan.
7. Not allowed to use psychic powers to do the dishes.
8. How to serve Dragons is not a cookbook.
9. My monk's lips must be in sync.
10. Just because my character and I can speak German, doesn't mean the GM can.
11. Not allowed to berserk for the hell of it, especially during royal masquerades.
12. Must learn at least one offensive or defensive spell if I'm the sorcerer.
13. Must not murder canon NPCs in their sleep, no matter how cliche they are.
14. Ogres are not kosher.
15. Plan B is not automatically twice as much gunpowder as Plan A.
16. I will not beat Tomb of Horrors in less than 10 minutes from memory.
17. Collateral Damage Man is not an appropriate name for a super hero.
18. When surrendering I am to hand the sword over HILT first.
19. Drow are not good eating.
20. Polka is not appropriate marching music.
21. No longer allowed to recreate the Death Star Trench Run out of genre.
22. There is no such thing as a Gnomish Pygmy War Rhino.
23. Any character who has a sensitivity training center named after him will be taken away.

I refer you here:

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

http://davywavy.livejournal.com/316527.html

[tzel.livejournal.com]

You do know that the girls in my domain nearly had shirts made that said, "I don't want to hear about your f*$#ing character" don't you?

I don't know if I have any really good stories about any of my characters. Most of my stories involve trying to not get stepped on and crushed by large Brujah at clan gatherings.

crushed by large Brujah at clan gatherings

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I thought that's why you went! ;)

*Runs*

[annwfyn.livejournal.com]

I vividly remember the night when somehow it seemed to make sense for the dark vampiric Prince of Edinburgh to sing a cover version of 'Basket Case' by Green Day, with the lyrics adapted appropriately.

I also remember all of Lewis McLeod's silly IC anarchic limericks very fondly. I think they would still be funny if I could remember any of them.

As a note, I actually like hearing about people's characters. As long as I don't have to hear too many rules, I often think it's quite cool. But then, I run LJ communities for WoD larp gamer fic, which probably says a lot about me.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

When we finish our current campaign, I'll send you a link to the website for it. It's got maps, IC diaries, a full selection of campaign maps, the lot!

It's worryingly huge and intellectually complete. Much more so than anything else I've ever been involved in.

[janewilliams20.livejournal.com]

How about this?

"I don't need to waste time climbing down all those stairs, I've got a Ring of Featherfa.........aaargggghh....." SPLAT.
Moral of the story: check if your magic item has a limited number of charges.

True story.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

"I wish I knew what this ring did"
"It's a ring of two wishes".

Ah here's one RP story I remember...

[applez.livejournal.com]

Being a GM for Munchkins, I was asked what the damage point value would be for a leg, since, well, one character had one removed by a mutant dog munching on his body, and he could at least grab his nearby limb and beat the dog with it.

[janewilliams20.livejournal.com]

I am a cruel and unkind GM who enjoys exploring logical consequences of cliches. So, in a generic fantasy universe, the players were told that a dragon was ravaging a nearby town, and if they could kill it and bring back its head as proof, they could get various tempting rewards. They weren't really up to the level of battling dragons, and knew it, but went along anyway wondering if they could do something Cunning.

What they found was that a mugh higher-level party had got there before them, and done the deed. The dragon was dead, its head had been removed, and the body had been left where it had fallen. In the middle of the town square and on top of a few buildings (like the main inn). Eviscerated. Decomposing. Have you ever smelt decomposing dragon guts? You don't want to.

For some reason, "adventurers" weren't all that popular in town...

Our Heroes were partway through sorting that out (a local mine that was played out, ox teams...) when further dragon attacks occured. The dragon had been female, and the eggs were hatching. They went up to the Lair (from which all serious loot had been removed by the prevoius party), beat up a few baby dragons (quite nasty enough for them), and were present as the last one hatched: and immediately imprinted on the paladin. "Squeak?" it said.

But you can't kill that! It's only a baby, and it's cute, and it trusts us, and it hasn't done anything Evil yet, and it didn't mean to eat your dog, it was just hungry...

"Squeak" was last seen living under the paladin's father's castle, about twenty feet long, gradually learning to not just breath fire but control his ability to do so, and to fly without crash-landing. Give him another ten years, he may actually be useful, rather than an over-sized and over-enthusiastic liability.

[fonnparr.livejournal.com]

I fully expected that story to end with

... so we chopped its head off, cast enlarge object and delivered it to the original quest giver for a huge reward.