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"You know", he said to me. "I didn't believe you when you said you didn't like heights until I saw the expression on your face."

I ignored the distraction and concentrated on the immediate task at hand; specifically, unclipping my safety line and reattaching it to the cable whilst studiously ignoring the drop which loomed beneath my feet like something out of Vertigo. I don't like heights very much, and so finding me tightrope walking thirty foot up amongst the trees at one of the Go Ape outdoor centres might come as a bit of a surprise. However, it was [livejournal.com profile] raggedy_man's stag do, and as far as I could make out the thing he really wanted to ease his passsage into wedded bliss was to see me shake and shiver like Scooby-Doo when presented with a fairground owner in a scary costume and generally act like the lily-livered coward I am when thirty foot off the ground.

In theory, I was perfectly safe - the guideropes apparently had been stress tested to two and a half tons, but I'd had a pizza the night before and I wasn't too certain that'd be enough. Not only that, but the calm rational part of my brain is only calm and rational when presented with food and cold hard cash. The rest of the time it tends to take it easy and leave the gibbering poltroon which is the rest of my brain to run things, which doesn't help.

Anyway, as I carefully clipped and unclipped and tested the security of each connection every time, I was reminded of Brainwashing: The Science of Thought Control, which I was reading recently. You see, one of the things covered in there was some of the psychological research carried out in the aftermath of WW2, when people got interested in the psychological processes involved when people do things they really don't want to do but do them anyway.
What appears to happen is that when you're engaging in an activity which your brain finds distressing, you just stop thinking about it and focus instead on the minutae of the task at hand in order to avoid looking at the bigger picture. And that's what I realised I was doing. I avoided thinking about the prospect of plummetting to a bloody demise (or at least an inconveniencing injury) by concentrating on the process of negotiating the assault course. Unclip safety rope...clip rope...check resistance...take step onto tightrope...adjust foot...take next step....

Each stage broken down, allowing me to perform the task. What's even more interesting is that this method of breaking down tasks is commonly used in brainwashing to get people thinking along the pathways the brainwasher wants them to. By taking the process in stages, the victim doesn't see the larger picture and habituates into required behaviours. Obviously, this also makes it useful for curing phobias as it's easier to flood the senses whilst the patient is concentrating elsewhere.

Which does rather beg the question: did leaping from tree to tree in the wilds of British Columbia Norfolk cure me of my heightophobia?

No, of course not. But I would do it again, so it can't have been that bad.

Date: 2011-04-15 11:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] belak-krin.livejournal.com
I remain thoroughly impressed by your decision to get involved in something that you clearly felt was madness at best.

Date: 2011-04-15 02:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] karohemd.livejournal.com
Same here.

Date: 2011-04-15 11:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davegullen.livejournal.com
I think I am going to the same place in June. Gald to hear you didn't get horribly mutilated.

Date: 2011-04-15 12:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] janewilliams20.livejournal.com
I dealt with part of my own heightophobia years back, by going on a hang-gliding course. This stopped me being scared of heights greater than about 30 feet up, since I know that in that time, I can recover a hang-glider from a stall and land safely. The fact that I do not normally have a hang-glider strapped to my back to use for this purpose is something my sub-conscious chooses to ignore. Also, the treatment had no effect at all on my dislike of "heights" less than 30 feet, so I still treat standing on a chair with caution, and ladders are liable to induce hyper-ventilating.

Date: 2011-04-15 08:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gnommi.livejournal.com
hehe my first Go Ape experience went from terrified clinging onto a tree for dear life for 10 mins, daring to leap off onto the net to OMG THIS IS BRRRRRRRRILLLLLLIANT and bombing round on hard mode shouting GIVE ME HARD STUFF and pushing small children out of the way

arms ached like hell the next day though


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