I have some new pets.

[davywavy]

With any luck I won't get too badly hurt.

Anyway, I've spent much of the weekend observing them from a safe distance and trying to figure out how bee society actually works. As far as I can make out, there are three types of bees: The Queen Bee, who sits in the middle of the hive scoffing honey, making out with any passing gentlemen bees who take her fancy, and killing anyone who looks like challenging her a bit like an insectile Catherine the Great; The Worker Bees, who congregate at the entrance to the hive around an oildrum full of burning wood, selling the Socialist Bee and demanding above-inflation payrises as honey might be a hazardous substance; and The Drones, who have a rather nice club in the hive where they drink cocktails and say things like "I say, Bertie, there's that frightful ass gussie Fink-Nottle. Let's de-bag him and throw him out!"

And that's my scientific research for the weekend.

Comments

[davegullen.livejournal.com]

Bees get grumpy in rainy/stormy weather, so I have been (accurately) advised.

As a teenager I was more than a little anxious of bees. I was also one of the two Biology lab assistants at school - the teacher let us make coffee in his office at break, and have a smoke. We also got to gas rats and feed the fish and locusts. There was alos a 'real' lab assistant, i.e. in paid employment, not a schoolboy, and knew what he was doing. He kept bees on the school roof.
Now, the other lad, my mate Simon, was interested in bees and unknown to me had asked to see the hives.
So, one afternoon the lab assistant accosts me with a 'There you are, come along,' and leads me up onto the roof. before I can protest, he plonks a beekeepers hat on my head, opens up a hive, pulls out one of the frames and gives it to me to hold. It is covered in at least 19 bazillion bees and I'm somewhat petrified, especially when one start crawling up the inside of my trousers.

It's then that he glances up at the sky, frowns at the gathering rainclouds clouds and says, 'Bees don;t like this sort of weather. If they get angry stand very still.'

Also, the stings don't hurt so much when you're older.

[(Anonymous)]

I suppose you'd have to hope it was just the Drones who got angry, as this would merely result in them saying (in bee) "I say, Aunt Agatha, this is the bally limit! If you think I'm going anywhere near that prize blister Sir Watkyn Bassett again, all I can say is, well. I mean. Dash it all." And then giving in.

H

[sea-of-flame.livejournal.com]

Eeee! Beeees!

Do let us know how you get on - have you joined a local beekeeping association as well?

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

No, but I did have some pretty good ideas featuring a trebuchet, a beehive and a bathroom window, which counts.

[annwfyn.livejournal.com]

Oh that is awesome! I find bee keeping really interesting. You must write lots about it!

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I may be heading to borough market in the morning if you're interested.

[gnommi.livejournal.com]

I am in total agreement with these statements!

[omentide.livejournal.com]

I am impressed. And pretty sure that it's wasps, not bees, that bring me out in huge lumps which require many antibiotics to dissipate.

Bees are fascinating creatures.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I've been saying for years we should get some, and I'm very pleased we finally have.