davywavy: (Default)
[personal profile] davywavy
Years ago now, I was watching the local news up in Yorkshire whilst they were doing a report an a government report which had concluded that Barnsley was the 'Worst place in Britain to live'.
This won't come as much of a surprise to anyone who has ever visited Barnsley*, but the news readers were displaying all the localist indignation you might expect and had taken the cameras out onto the streets of Barnsleyto ask the locals what they thought. I remember particularly one man, upon being told that Barnsley was the worst place in Britain to live and asked what he thought looked cross and said: "No, Brnsley's the best place to live because...because...". And at that point he froze up, unable to think of a single reason why Barnsley might be a good place to live. His jaw worked as he tried to make words come out and eventually he managed: "...because folk are friendly."

Because they aren't anywhere else, you see.

Anyway, this was back in the good old days when life expectancy in Barnsley was over sixty; these days it has been comfortably overtaken as the worst place in Britain to live by Glasgow, a city where the average life expectancy is now under sixy and actually dropping. Heart disease in Glasgow is the highest in Britain, which is the highest in Europe, which is the highest in the world. This should tell you a lot.

One of the major causes of this is diet; poor nutrition and lack of exercise are a killer. I've rattled on about diet before now - my personal favourite is the D-plan diet (eat less food, take more exercise, duh), but after wandering past McDonalds this morning I've finally got to admit defeat and acknowledge it hasn't caught on. However, healthy, nutricious diets abound in the media. The She-David's copies of Girl! magazine (or whatever it's called) have several diets in them every month; the bikini diet, the burkini diet, the macrobiotic sludge diet, the nanobot diet, the fat whisperer diet (I am NOT making that one up) and so on. Then you get even wierder ones like the paleolithic diet, which makes you eat what our caveman ancestors would have lived on on the basis that preserved stone-age bodies rarely show incidence of cancer and several other diseases. The idea is that these diseases are 'diseases of civilisation' and can be avoided by avoiding civilised foods. Some take the paleodiet even further and actually go round on all fours and eat lots of raw meat (I'm not making that up, either).

However, in the spirit of outrageous simplification for the purposes of flippancy, I'd like to suggest another alternative diet. Given that the average life expectancy in some parts of the UK is now less than 60, and diet is a cause of that, the obvious thing to do is look at people who lived longer than that and eat what they did. In this instance, I'm going for The P-Plan Diet, based upon the intake of diarist Samuel Pepys, who lived to be seventy.
So it was yesterday morning I broke my fast in the same manner that Pepys did on September 9th 1661: “I went with Capt. Morrice at his desire into the King’s Privy Kitchin to Mr Sayres the Master-Cooke, and there we had a good slice of beef or two to our breakfast. And from thence he took us into the wine-cellar; where by my troth we were very merry, and I drank too much wine.”

That sounds like a sound, balanced meal to me.

And then this morning I guzzled my way through his petit -dejeunner of January 15th 1662: “This morning Mr Berchenshaw came again; and after he had examined me and taught me something in my work, he and I went to breakfast in my chamber, upon a Collar of brawne.”
And blow me if I'm not already half stuffed, as well as half-cut. I'm already planning ahead for tomorrow morning, you see, when - like Pepys on May 30th 1660 - I plan to wake “with my head in a sad taking through last night’s drink, which I am very sorry for” which I will sooth with a large morning draught, which he did give me in Chocolate to settle my stomach”.

Chocolate. Yum.

It's staggering to think that this appears to be a healthier diet than many people manage today, but hey, at least I'll live longer.


*I sometimes claim to have grown up in Barnsley; not because I actually did, but becauser nobody has ever heard of where I actually did grow up and Barnsley is the nearest place with any name recognition.

Date: 2011-06-22 11:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] crocodilewings.livejournal.com
Heart disease in Glasgow is the highest in Britain, which is the highest in Europe, which is the highest in the world. This should tell you a lot.

But doesn't under a First Past The Post system.

Date: 2011-06-22 11:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
Five hundred words of free daily entertainment and what do I get? pedantry. Tchah.

I'll go back to memes if people aren't careful

Date: 2011-06-22 11:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
Right, back to "Which Sailor Moon character am I" and "wWhat sort of cat am I" tomorrow, then.

Date: 2011-06-22 11:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] crocodilewings.livejournal.com
Because people never express pedantry over nerdy works of fiction. I see your wisdom now.
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
<img src="http://quizilla.teennick.com/user_images/C/ChibiUsagi7/1066345442_Sailorcats.jpg> You're Artimis/Luna! You fit right in in any crowd. Everyone loves you and you love everyone. Sometimes people don't take you seriously, but everyone would be in DEEP trouble if it wasn't for you.

Date: 2011-06-22 12:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
Oh, for bloody heckers sake, Lj won't let me delete anything at the moment - even posts where I botch the HTML.

Date: 2011-06-22 11:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ddraiggwyrdd.livejournal.com
Grew up in Fishguard where the fishermen caught fish to sell to tourists - they didn't like it themselves except for the fishfinger variety.

Date: 2011-06-22 01:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zenicurean.livejournal.com
I am disproportionately delighted by the fact that there's a place called Fishguard.

Date: 2011-06-22 08:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sherbetsaucers.livejournal.com
Fishguard to Rosslare. The only real way to get to Ireland.

Date: 2011-06-27 08:45 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Named after the celebrated Fishguards they manufacture there, a patent device to stop the fish coming down your chimney and out into your hearth, in the event of Fortean rains of fish.

H

Date: 2011-06-22 12:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] queenortart.livejournal.com
"It's staggering to think that this appears to be a healthier diet than many people manage today, but hey, at least I'll live longer."

You do know what the life expectancy of the C17th was don't you? You might not die of cancer but I reckon you're more likely to get TB - cough cough

Date: 2011-06-22 12:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
TB is making a comeback in London, thanks to treatment resistant strains and people being crammed together on the tube.

So, consumption ahoy!

Date: 2011-06-22 12:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] queenortart.livejournal.com
Eggseaccerly why I chose it.

We are the only Western nation with rising levels of TB, and it's down to people like you with your faddish diets :)

Date: 2011-06-22 01:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zenicurean.livejournal.com
Well, I don't think people will complain too much. After all, the 19th century is in again!

Date: 2011-06-24 11:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] colliedlight.livejournal.com
I'm so excited. I get yearly TB tests!

Date: 2011-06-22 01:24 pm (UTC)
drplokta: (Default)
From: [personal profile] drplokta
I fear that the P-Plan Diet already exists, but it seems to follow the same basic principles.

Date: 2011-06-22 01:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
That's an impressive piece of synchronicity, isn't it?

Date: 2011-06-24 11:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] colliedlight.livejournal.com
I'm laughing at meat being in the paleolithic diet. Or red meat at least. You had to expend a lot of calories to kill that shit and if we're talking pre-domestication, welp....

I also feel Pepys was correct.

Date: 2011-06-26 08:56 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
"these days it has been comfortably overtaken as the worst place in Britain to live by Glasgow, a city where the average life expectancy is now under sixy"

I think your logic is flawed. Glasgow may well be the worst place to live (though worse than Hull??), but having a low life expectancy doesn't automatically make it so. It could be that everyone lives like Keith Richards or George Best, in a blur of alcohol, drugs and loose women. Though granted the fact they would be Glaswegian women would put a downer on it.

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