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The Spectator Magazine runs a weekly competition which is usually of a literary bent - "write a story in the style of so-and-so", that sort of thing. Sister and I used to enter quite often and even sometimes win.

I don't really buy the Spectator these days as Boris doesn't edit it any more and it's not all that good, but I picked up the latest issue to find this week's competition is to write a story in the style of two authors - one male, one female - whose writing styles are utterly incompatible. And if that doesn't say Enid Blyton and HP Lovecraft to you, then plainly you're just not right in the head.

“I’m looking forward to a peaceful holiday camping under the stars”, said Julian.
“Which are right”, added George. “So Kirrin Island has risen from the inky, turbulent depths of the bay.” She gestured to the little island which squatted blasphemously a short way offshore, the crown of its small hill capped by a ruin whose ghastly, repugnant shape lurked like a baleful and misshapen chthonian giant over the town.
“You are lucky”, said Anne. “Your Uncle Quentin was so kind to give you Kirrin Island. How is he?” George’s father was a famous scientist; kind and very clever but forgetful and short-tempered.
“Oh!”, laughed George. “He’s been down in his cellar making the most awful stinks! Inventing something, I expect.” Her voice dropped. “There’s been some queer people in town asking about him.”
“Russians?” asked Anne.
“Cook said they were fish-like. Oozing with a fetid, noisome ichor, and moving with a profane flopping gait.”
Julian gasped. “Germans!” he said.


But as a competition for the day, I invite you to write - in about 150 words - a story in the syle of two incompatible authors. Who knows? If your idea is better than mine you might see it printed under my name in the list of winners in the Spectator in a few weeks!

Betrix Potter & Andy McNab

Date: 2011-06-28 11:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sherbetsaucers.livejournal.com
The boys and I headed into Mr. McGregor’s Garden. In that situation you trust the bloke next to you. They know their job, you know yours. You’re professionals. Pete had the sack over his bag and was teamed up with Nutter. Me and Tom held back, ready to give covering fire while Tiggy was the eyes and ears.

The plan was a go. Nutter and Pete started loading up the sack. next to me Tom was pacing up and down. He was always the nervous sort but he also had a kind of sixth sense for danger. He looked really uneasy and those superstitious whiskers had saved us more times then I could remember. I looked over at the lads doing the job.

Everything was going fine but then I saw Nutter just freeze. He looked at me and I knew something was up. A second later the land mine went off. That’s when the shit really hit the fan.

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