Cross my palm with silver
Jul. 22nd, 2011 10:31 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
davywavyWhen I was in Cornwall a few weeks ago, I spent one lazy afternoon in Bodmin on my own. The she-David had wandered off to shop for shoes and kittens, like she does, and I found myself with an hour or so to my own devices and as I waddled past the town museum on the square I thought I'd take a few minutes to look around.
Squeezing myself through the doorway I found that a few minutes was all it would take, as the museum only has four rooms. The first is a shop manned by the sort of amiable-but-heart-of-steel old ladies who always seem to run these places and despite entry being free somehow manage to make you feel like paying anything less than several quid to get in would be the height of rudeness. The second room is full of geology and minerals and fossils, as the region is famous for that sort of thing and the locals are justifiably proud of it. The third is a small military history room, covering local soldiers from the Iron Age through the Romans to the Civil War and up to the modern era, and the last room is one of those social history rooms which local museums always seem to have, with agricultural indstruments and period outfits and old photos.
Amongst those old photos was a shot of a fairground from about the turn of the last century showing two gypsy fortune tellers caravans. One had a sign outside it announcing that "Gypsy Sarah's lucky daughter" was within. The other, standing right next to it, had a sign outside announcing "Gypsy Sarah's only clever daughter."
I loved that.
Anyway, according to an article in my sister's latest edition of Girl! magazine, more and more women are giving up going to see their therapist and switching their custom to psychics instead. Suprisingly, this article was not entitled "Throwing good money after bad". It's not certain why this might be happening. Perhaps one flavour of snake-oil is much the same as another. Perhaps psychics give better results than psychologists. Perhaps the magazine needed to fill two pages in a hurry, or perhaps some people just have more money than sense. Whatever the reason, I'm ever-keen to see opportunities for making a fast buck, and if people are willing to hand over cold hard cash to be told what Tarot the psychic cat sees int he statrs for their future then I can play that game as well as the next man. I've got a psychology degree and am qualified to be a therapist (and if that doesn't discredit the occupation, I don't know what does) but so what if that's not flavour of the month? I can also spin a line of bollocks with the best of them so I'm just as qualified to have a magic third eye as anyone, and I've got Battersea Cats home just round the corner from my house so getting my hands on the essential paraphenalia to be a psychic won't exactly be a stretch.
So, in the light of that preamble: cross my palm with silver and I'll tell you a fortune*.
*Note I say "A" fortune. I make no promises it will actually be yours.
Squeezing myself through the doorway I found that a few minutes was all it would take, as the museum only has four rooms. The first is a shop manned by the sort of amiable-but-heart-of-steel old ladies who always seem to run these places and despite entry being free somehow manage to make you feel like paying anything less than several quid to get in would be the height of rudeness. The second room is full of geology and minerals and fossils, as the region is famous for that sort of thing and the locals are justifiably proud of it. The third is a small military history room, covering local soldiers from the Iron Age through the Romans to the Civil War and up to the modern era, and the last room is one of those social history rooms which local museums always seem to have, with agricultural indstruments and period outfits and old photos.
Amongst those old photos was a shot of a fairground from about the turn of the last century showing two gypsy fortune tellers caravans. One had a sign outside it announcing that "Gypsy Sarah's lucky daughter" was within. The other, standing right next to it, had a sign outside announcing "Gypsy Sarah's only clever daughter."
I loved that.
Anyway, according to an article in my sister's latest edition of Girl! magazine, more and more women are giving up going to see their therapist and switching their custom to psychics instead. Suprisingly, this article was not entitled "Throwing good money after bad". It's not certain why this might be happening. Perhaps one flavour of snake-oil is much the same as another. Perhaps psychics give better results than psychologists. Perhaps the magazine needed to fill two pages in a hurry, or perhaps some people just have more money than sense. Whatever the reason, I'm ever-keen to see opportunities for making a fast buck, and if people are willing to hand over cold hard cash to be told what Tarot the psychic cat sees int he statrs for their future then I can play that game as well as the next man. I've got a psychology degree and am qualified to be a therapist (and if that doesn't discredit the occupation, I don't know what does) but so what if that's not flavour of the month? I can also spin a line of bollocks with the best of them so I'm just as qualified to have a magic third eye as anyone, and I've got Battersea Cats home just round the corner from my house so getting my hands on the essential paraphenalia to be a psychic won't exactly be a stretch.
So, in the light of that preamble: cross my palm with silver and I'll tell you a fortune*.
*Note I say "A" fortune. I make no promises it will actually be yours.
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Fact check
Date: 2011-07-22 10:11 am (UTC)Re: Fact check
Date: 2011-07-22 10:13 am (UTC)Would you care to make a small wager on that matter, Mr Rooney?
Re: Fact check
Date: 2011-07-22 10:15 am (UTC)Re: Fact check
Date: 2011-07-22 10:57 am (UTC)-----
You can qualify it if you like, but I'm still offering a solid, juicy wager on those terms...
Re: Fact check
Date: 2011-07-22 11:00 am (UTC)And then there's the definition of qualifications. No, this seems like much more hassle than it's worth ;-)
Very kind of you to offer, though...
Re: Fact check
Date: 2011-07-22 11:02 am (UTC)Re: Fact check
Date: 2011-07-22 11:03 am (UTC)Re: Fact check
Date: 2011-07-22 10:59 am (UTC)I see you making a bet with me that I've no further psychological qualifications beyond my degree...and the...the mists are clearing, yes, yes, it's become clear now...I see you putting your hand in your pocket and giving me some money.
So I wouldn't take that bet if I were you.
Gosh, being psychic is it's own worst enemy at times.
Re: Fact check
Date: 2011-07-22 11:00 am (UTC)Re: Fact check
Date: 2011-07-22 11:03 am (UTC)Re: Fact check
Date: 2011-07-22 11:04 am (UTC)Re: Fact check
Date: 2011-07-22 11:05 am (UTC)But that's what being psychic is all about. Manipulating the spirits and the probabilities so the future becomes clear and I can move into a space where I get to pocket someone else's cash.
Re: Fact check
Date: 2011-07-22 11:06 am (UTC)Re: Fact check
Date: 2011-07-22 10:39 am (UTC)For some reason, american psychiatrists seem to do most of the hard psycho-dynamic exploration (as opposed to the british neurochemical approach - probably an NHS thing). This, combined with the bizarre 80s/90s obsession with 'seeing a therapist' (possibly spurred on by earlier days of handing out prozac and valim like breathmints) has created this odd, cultural position of 'therapist' as analgous to 'camp counsellor' or more appropriately, 'bar man'.
IMHO its a modern replacement for priests.
Re: Fact check
Date: 2011-07-22 10:46 am (UTC)Re: Fact check
Date: 2011-07-22 12:22 pm (UTC)Britain is fairly robust in these things, what with the NHS to keep us in check. Other parts of the world (the states in particular) have far less regulation, IIRC in some states its about on par with hypnotherapy.
no subject
Date: 2011-07-22 10:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-22 11:13 am (UTC)How'd you like them apples, eh?
Lucky white heather whilst you're here?
no subject
Date: 2011-07-22 11:53 am (UTC)(Gypsy Rose David... now there's a picture to curdle the blood.)
no subject
Date: 2011-07-22 10:32 am (UTC)Psychics meanwhile specialise in telling you that the universe is filled with magical faeries that are secretly looking out for you, that you are just dandy and that promotion/lover/dog in a handbag you have always wanted it just waiting for you to come find it. Also, your aura shows that you are a passionate, powerful person who sometimes struggles to make others see how wonderful you really are...
To summarise, if you're going to therapy for fun (rather than as treatment), psychics have the better product.
no subject
Date: 2011-07-22 11:14 am (UTC)That's be £150, please.
no subject
Date: 2011-07-22 12:07 pm (UTC)Worth every penny.
no subject
Date: 2011-07-22 01:15 pm (UTC)Fragile lookin', those kneecaps. Shame if something...happened to them, you get me?
no subject
Date: 2011-07-22 01:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-22 01:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-23 05:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-22 10:36 am (UTC)Those skills and tricks do exist, but the more depressing thing you discover in reading up on these things is that most psychic charlatans and con-artists select for especially stupid, desperate or impaired victims, and the techniques they use aren't actually that clever.
no subject
Date: 2011-07-22 11:01 am (UTC)And it's a message of great importance. It's...my god, you simply have to know this!
To continue with this prediction, just send your donattion to me. I take paypal and all major credit cards.
no subject
Date: 2011-07-22 11:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-22 11:21 am (UTC)This is such an important message that if you don't hear it...someone might die!!!!!!!
To continue with this message, please cross my palm with e-silver.
no subject
Date: 2011-07-22 11:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-22 01:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-22 11:09 am (UTC)But indeed; here you go old chap
no subject
Date: 2011-07-22 11:17 am (UTC)But that's enough about my personal problems, in your case I see you and your bird coming to a barbeque at my place on the 6th.
no subject
Date: 2011-07-22 11:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-22 11:24 am (UTC)If you don't live up to the preduction your soul will be dragged to Hell by screaming demon chimps. Or Grim. Frankly it's hard to tell the difference.
no subject
Date: 2011-07-22 11:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-22 11:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-22 12:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-22 01:21 pm (UTC)Which just goes to show that Isambard kingdom Brunel was much better at his job than First Great Western because it's more than they can manage more often than not.
no subject
Date: 2011-07-22 01:17 pm (UTC)Being told I had to do something to raise money for the playgroup I decided I'd do palmreading all dressed up in long skirts scarfs and beads. I was even provided with a tent. Well, I though it would be a dodle, under cover, sitting down and chatting to the odd bod through the afternoon.
I went into the tent at one o'clock and didn't have a break until just after five, by which time the carnival had ended and everything was packing up. I had a QUEUE stretching across the field! I had people getting miffed about others possibly queue jumping. It was ridiculous! I had seemingly sensible individuals telling me how amazingly accurate I was. Finally emerging as the last customer strolled off I was greeted by the men putting the bouncy castle in its crate.
"Hah, some fortune teller you are - you didn't even know the carnival had finished".
no subject
Date: 2011-07-22 01:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-22 01:26 pm (UTC)100% smack on the kisser prediction right there, my boy.
no subject
Date: 2011-07-23 08:01 am (UTC)I'm sticking with Derren Brown.
no subject
Date: 2011-07-22 05:02 pm (UTC)I've swirled my mug and checked the tealeaves, and they show me' your near future will involve you reporting your question with a little less swearing - my mum reads this, you know.
I'll pop tarot the psychic cat in amongst the tealeaves again when you're done and we'll see what crops up, okay medeario?
Oh, and if you have plastic, paypal is fine.
no subject
Date: 2011-07-23 11:30 am (UTC)If I had amazing Kwisatz Haderach superpowers, I'm fairly sure I'd use them to cheat on the stock market. (Only I believe it wouldn't be cheating since nobody has ever seen fit to restrict the speculative use of magical charms invested with the Hebrew names of angels.)