The stars are right.

[davywavy]

HP Lovecraft wrote about it, you know. A time when the stars and constellations would align, and blasphemous terror would assert itself across the world. Horrifying, unnatural rights would be performed and unholy chants would blister the souls of all who heard them.

That's right, it's Valentines day. The she-David and I may have to hold hands and say nice things to each other.

But aside from all the lovey-dovey gooshy stuff, the more important function of Valentines Day is getting that certain someone to put out. And what better way to do that than the time-honoured manner of cooking a tasty meal for your beloved crammed with proven aphrodisiacs?* Since time immemorial people have been trying to find shortcuts to nookie and have tried pretty much everything in that process - powered rhino horn, Dried tiger willy, a concoction of honey and guano (actually one of my more successful culinary efforts)**, those blue tablets that people in Nigeria keep emailing me about.

But what do you reckon, dear reader? What is the best aphrodisiac for you?


[Poll #1818905]

^{* A cosh, perhaps?
**In reality something the ancient Egyptians swore by}

Comments

[crocodilewings.livejournal.com]

Thinly-veiled poetic smut seems to be working quite well for me of late. Being a higher-rate taxpayer and working for a prestigious fashion company certainly doesn't seem to hurt, though.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Yes, I've noticed its effects on fb.

[davegodfrey.livejournal.com]

I find that naked ladies works best on me. I don't think its a universal thing though.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Nonsense. What sort of puff doesn't find naked ladies attractive?

[davegodfrey.livejournal.com]

Other ladies? And the ladies who do like naked ladies aren't likely to be interested in me.

[aiwendel.livejournal.com]

mirror neurons work; so ladies are more likely to get off on watching (and empathising with) another lady enjoying herself than from watching a guy waving his cock about....

[janewilliams20.livejournal.com]

Being within reach of my husband works quite well for me, though I don't expect others to feel the same way (at least, not about the same husband).

[aiwendel.livejournal.com]

Undivided attention (either talking/listening/touching), for the sake of it, rather than in a counting the minutes to get it off, which is a turn off.

Bonus points for atmosphere (candles/music/comfort etc)

[gnommi.livejournal.com]

Salma Hayek in a bikini (or out of a bikini, not fussy).

but in all seriousness: getting to hang out with the object of your affections with no place to be by no particular time and just be able to relax and do whatever you want, for long enough that work-related burn-out wears off

sad, innit?

[zenicurean.livejournal.com]

Why does the list not include "The angels rearranging the very stars in your image?"

It happens!

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I suspect that would count as the stars being right, wouldn't it?

[applez.livejournal.com]

In all seriousness, full relaxation. From that feeling stems humour, connection, all the verve that makes sex good.

[ddraiggwyrdd.livejournal.com]

Strawbwerries wapped in smwoked swamon.