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davywavyTefal-headed scientists today claimed they have demonstrated that Gordon Brown has entered Westminster on 'at least two occasions' since May 2010. The scientific community has been divided for years on the subject, with many claiming that as it is impossible to observe the Kirkaldy and Cowdenbeath MP then he could not be proven to exist. However, the results announced today mathematically show that Brown has drawn his salary and fees as an MP and so "Must have visited the place once, maybe twice."
A CERN spokesman said "Since 2010 Gordon Brown has existed as an MP in only the broadest theoretical sense. It is impossible to observe Gordon Brown doing his actual job as an MP, and so what we looked for is interactions which proved his existence. By tracking the movement of short-lived financial records in the Parliamentary Standards office we were able to show that Brown had passed through the building, albeit breifly". The spokesman went on to say, "Brown was in the building for a very limited time before vanishing - perhaps less than one hundred millionth of a second. However, during that period he interacted - very weakly - with the institution he was elected to serve."
Previous theories about Gordon Brown have speculated that he exhibited considerable gravity, but these theories were exploded when an immense amount of pretend money collided with reality in 2008.
CERN now plan to build a new supercolossal collider, with which they hope to accelerate George Osborne and Ed Balls to near light speed and crash them into each other. "We don't expect to learn much scientifically from this", said the spokesman, "but bloody heckers it'll be fun to watch." CERN added they expected the project to pay for itself "with ticket sales".
A CERN spokesman said "Since 2010 Gordon Brown has existed as an MP in only the broadest theoretical sense. It is impossible to observe Gordon Brown doing his actual job as an MP, and so what we looked for is interactions which proved his existence. By tracking the movement of short-lived financial records in the Parliamentary Standards office we were able to show that Brown had passed through the building, albeit breifly". The spokesman went on to say, "Brown was in the building for a very limited time before vanishing - perhaps less than one hundred millionth of a second. However, during that period he interacted - very weakly - with the institution he was elected to serve."
Previous theories about Gordon Brown have speculated that he exhibited considerable gravity, but these theories were exploded when an immense amount of pretend money collided with reality in 2008.
CERN now plan to build a new supercolossal collider, with which they hope to accelerate George Osborne and Ed Balls to near light speed and crash them into each other. "We don't expect to learn much scientifically from this", said the spokesman, "but bloody heckers it'll be fun to watch." CERN added they expected the project to pay for itself "with ticket sales".
no subject
Date: 2012-07-04 11:53 am (UTC)