&quot;First of all I should say that I agree with davy&quot; - Norman Tebbit.

Look on the bright side. He didn't order you to marry me this week.

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the basic principles of the diet ("Eat Less food. Take more exercise. Duh.")

Its astonishing of how we all lose sight of the simplicity of the concept. However, being simple, doesn't make it easy, as I've often found myself scurrying past the gym and into the nearest takeaway. I often think about deconstructing my psyche to find out exactly why I do this, but I'm worried when I put it back together again there'll be a spare bit left over, and I won't know where it goes.

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My pschye is easy, as it is simply a matchbox with a beetle in it that makes odd scratching noises. it's much easier than having all them cogs & springs & stuff.

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Good heavens, the possibilities. Take a roomful of people, take them apart & rebuild them all, then make a new person out of the bits left over. Human meccano.

Or just leave all the spare bits in a drawer somewhere, or in a cupboard under the stairs, and see what happens to them when they find the old broken lampshade and your gran's tablecloth with the gravy stain.

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I need some new soap.

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Are you in touch with your inner Beetle?

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I was the fifth beetle.

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Its a new take on Frankenstein's monster, just with psychoanalysis.

Unfortunately, there may be nasty side effects.

"Mr Benson, you can get off the couch, we've solved your problem, but I seem to have mislaid your fear of failure".

"Wonderful, that's been holding me back for years. Now if you'll excuse me, I've always wanted to know whether I can fly out of your window..."

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Help, I need somebody,
Help, not just anybody,
Help, you know I need someone, help.

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Did you touch my bottom?

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karohemd.livejournal.com

You're quite welcome!
I was worried if I had the real David Wade but the line "Yes, I am the David Wade you are looking for. Now buy me something" could only come from you. ;oP

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Well, I hoped that I might get gifts from people looking for *other* David Wades as well, thus upping my take.

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So what would neuroses look like were they visible tangible entities? I reckon small, scuttly unpleasant things with too many legs & eyes, myself.

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We could get them into the cam without any difficulty then, anyway.

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The sign reads 'Please proceed to the nearest fire exit'

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It says that on my bottom?
I thought it said "Not to be used as a life preserver".

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Yes, and lots of tiny waving tentacles with suckers on the end. They communicate in a strange language that sounds like 'Neep Neep' to us. They feed by attaching themselves to the face and sending their tentacles up the nose and into the brain.

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I've heard 'The Ring' is quite a scary film

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You know what I think?
I think you're trying to get the subject off my bottom.

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The Subject was drawn irresistably back towards David's bottom

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Hmm. I imagined a mor chittery, cockroach-like noise. And mine would hide behind your ears and feed by sliding a proboscis down your ear canal into your brain.

If you ever manage to catch one and squash it, it leaves an oily, greasy stain.

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Oh no, these don't want attention. Besides, they're far too subtle and effective for the Cam :)

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Could be worse. It could say "Warning. Contains nuts".

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F = GMm / r²

Figures :)

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Keep away from children.

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