Davids invent-a-porn competition
Feb. 26th, 2004 09:43 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
It was once said that there is nothing in this world that is so unusual or unpleasant that there isn't someone who finds a sexual thrill from it. As the internet contains pretty much everything ever invented by humanity, just googling random phrases to see what comes up is often an interesting way to spend a few idle minutes.
It always comes as a surprise to find that something which one assumes must exist in some way doesn't show up on internet searches, because that indicates that i've actually invented a whole new concept that didn't previously exist. It's gratifying too, for that matter. With this in mind, I challenge you lot to my latest competition*: to invent a form of porn that does not as yet exist.
My own searches have failed to show up results for either "Chav Porn"** or "Jehovah witness porn", or any recognisable variant thereof.
What I'm challenging you to do is come up with other sorts of porn that can't be found in any recognisable form in a quick google search. I shall be judging entries from my own objective viewpoint, but I shall be guided by the following considerations:
1) Likelihood. As in "That doesn't already exist? Good heavens!" High marks shall be awarded for porn ideas that should exist but don't.
2) Brevity: "Chav porn" is a good example of a quick and simple idea. "Gay Nazi Robot Octopus Porn" is a bad example, as it is plainly desperate and reaching.
the best ideas and entries may well get some sort of goodies out of it when I announce winners.
Get porning.
* The winner of my last competition was
lanfykins. Jon Argles appeared to know the right answer, but never sent it to me, and several people seemed to know the derivation of the quiz but didn't post the correct answer either. As the first person to actually post the correct answer, Lanfykins may claim an alcoholic beverage of her choice from me when next we meet (within reason).
**Note for Americans: "Chav" is a currently popular british term for what Americans call White Trash. You can learn more about Chavs here
It always comes as a surprise to find that something which one assumes must exist in some way doesn't show up on internet searches, because that indicates that i've actually invented a whole new concept that didn't previously exist. It's gratifying too, for that matter. With this in mind, I challenge you lot to my latest competition*: to invent a form of porn that does not as yet exist.
My own searches have failed to show up results for either "Chav Porn"** or "Jehovah witness porn", or any recognisable variant thereof.
What I'm challenging you to do is come up with other sorts of porn that can't be found in any recognisable form in a quick google search. I shall be judging entries from my own objective viewpoint, but I shall be guided by the following considerations:
1) Likelihood. As in "That doesn't already exist? Good heavens!" High marks shall be awarded for porn ideas that should exist but don't.
2) Brevity: "Chav porn" is a good example of a quick and simple idea. "Gay Nazi Robot Octopus Porn" is a bad example, as it is plainly desperate and reaching.
the best ideas and entries may well get some sort of goodies out of it when I announce winners.
Get porning.
* The winner of my last competition was
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
**Note for Americans: "Chav" is a currently popular british term for what Americans call White Trash. You can learn more about Chavs here
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Date: 2004-02-26 02:25 am (UTC)It is possible that by the time we meet up you may owe me the equivalent of the gross national product of France.
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Date: 2004-02-26 02:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-26 02:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-26 02:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-26 02:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-26 02:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-26 02:34 am (UTC)Greenwich and London 'ling are my venues of choice. As the wench doesn't game much, i don't go to many others.
no subject
Date: 2004-02-26 03:04 am (UTC)Not even any slashfic, which is disappointing.
"Ooh, Mr Mainwaring, I've just shot me load!"
"Stupid boy, Pike!"
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Date: 2004-02-26 03:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-26 03:31 am (UTC)"The knight took the bishop"
"the bishop pinned the queen to the king before taking her"
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Date: 2004-02-26 06:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-26 03:46 am (UTC)> unusual or unpleasant that there isn't someone who finds a sexual
> thrill from it.
Actually, what I said was that there was no fetish conceivable that there wasn't at least one *man* somewhere who found it sexually exicting. Still, I'm glad to see you got a new and interesting way to waste time out of my little theory.
I decided this must be the case shortly after watching an episode of "Have I got news for you?" episode which featured the story of a man having intercourse with his car exhaust.
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Date: 2004-02-26 03:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-26 03:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-26 03:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-26 04:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-26 04:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-26 04:57 am (UTC)By the way, the majority of people who watch soaps and read crappy no-brain magazines are women. Am I being sexist now?
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Date: 2004-02-26 04:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-26 04:09 am (UTC)As for possible new pr0n, my brane was exploded when I first heard of Bush/Gore slash.
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Date: 2004-02-26 05:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-26 06:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-26 06:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-26 12:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-27 01:38 am (UTC)"My God, Tracy," I said, "you're beautiful."
"Nah-aa-aa-aa-aaa" she replied...
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Date: 2004-02-26 05:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-26 05:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-29 02:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-29 02:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-26 06:43 am (UTC)You know when you've been tango'd
Chav-tastic!
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Date: 2004-02-26 02:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-27 01:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-03 03:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-26 06:58 pm (UTC)In my searches, (consisting of half an hour of my life I'll never see again suffixing whatever popped into my head with "porn", putting it into Google and waiting for the police to bang down my door and seize my machine), there was also no Jim'll Fix It porn, Time Bandit porn or Rincewind porn.
The existence of Oompa Loompa porn will haunt me until my dying day.
no subject
Date: 2004-02-29 02:12 pm (UTC)'Scuse me, just blundered in on a link from
karohemd.
Civil Engineering Porn
Think of the possiblities!
"Ohh, that's such a huge erection... Yes! Sink that shaft! Drill me!".
Ah, maybe not.
no subject
Date: 2004-02-29 02:52 pm (UTC)Klingon Necrophilia doesn't seem to produce any hits, and surely someone must have thought of that?
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Date: 2004-03-06 02:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-06 05:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-06 06:03 pm (UTC)Apparently she's from one of those child "supermodel" sites. Commonly considered rather dubious and less than wholesome. Though I understood that if chavs waited until they were 16, all their friends would be grandmothers.
Chav porn:
Date: 2004-10-10 12:31 pm (UTC)Could someone make some, maybe?
Re: Chav porn:
Date: 2004-10-11 02:00 am (UTC)Someone makes the valid point that the pram-faced council estate inhabitees who get their kit off for Razzle and Fiesta probably count, so that's the closest you're likely to get.
Chav porn has arrived?!
Date: 2005-09-13 12:42 am (UTC)Personally I can think of better ways of spending my time but, well, whatever butters your muffin and all that...
Re: Chav porn has arrived?!
Date: 2005-09-13 08:41 am (UTC)Any chance of a clue or two who you are?