David's Agony Uncle Page.

[davywavy]

Having had some troubles of my own recently, I realise that a great way to feel better is to mock the afflicted help those less fortunate than myself. So it is that I offer up, free and gratis, my training as a psychologist plus years of inflicting observing the worst that life can offer to you lot as an Agony Uncle.

I'll understand if you want to post your little problems anonymously, and I'll give help and advice in that inimicable, caring manner for which I am famed.

So tell me your woes, little ones, and I shall laugh do my best to offer constructive advice.

Comments

[hiromasaki.livejournal.com]

Uncle-wuncle:

I have multiple problems, not the least of which being rather shy and submissive around women. Problem is, most American women are likewise shy and submissive until they get you in their leash, at which point they become cruel and domineering. What's the best way to find someone of the female persuasion who is somewhat geeky, unafraid of being assertive, and preferably with no tattoos or piercings? I've tried clubs, bars, LARPs, stores, and parties, all to no avail. The only one I found who was assertive was in the process of running off to the Great White North(budday) to hide behind the Big Red Maple Leaf(tm).

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I hjave never found this problem with the ladies of your fine continent, and I'll share my secret with you here: Simply speak with a British accent. You will quickly find yourself irresistable to the ladies.
Alternatively, stop being shy. It's not so hard, because when you meet someone for the first time they have no way of knowing who you are or if you are shy - thus you can pretend to be anyone you like and they'll never know the difference. Try playing confident characters in LARP for a while to get the hang of it, and then just transfer the traits that work into your day-to-day interactions.

[hiromasaki.livejournal.com]

Speak with a British accent? >.< Slight problem there. After playing an Irish Gangrel for nearly 3 years, I have been legally banned from imitating ANY foreign accent. Why? I sounded like a drunken American redneck with a slavic background imitating the Leprichaun from the Lucky Charms commercials. And that was on a good night. If I have any hope of doing such, it will require me to start watching Red Dwarf 24/7 and hope that I pick up on Lister's accent as opposed to Rimmer's. The last thing I need is my friends holding a smeggin' H to their forheads when I speak.

And as for stopping being shy? Any time I think about approaching anyone female to say "Hi" with alternative intent, my stomach quivers and it's all I can do to keep my legs from breaking into a sprint in the opposite direction. And I have played confident characters at LARP before.

I guess the problem is I've not got the confidence to be the approacher, and women aren't used to being anything but the approachee.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I've used the trick myself at job interviews - I've dropped into character and given the interview like that. And, terrifyingly , it worked.
As for talking to girls...remember that when it comes to compliments they're like ravenous, bloodsucking monsters, always demanding more, More, MORE!
Just saying "I think you're really pretty, would you like to...(insert date idea here)" in a genuine-sounding tone of voice will take you a long way.
Faint heart never won fair lady. Practising chutzpah ICly when you aren't really asking them out (so it's okay, it's just game...) is good practice for the real thing.

[hiromasaki.livejournal.com]

Chutzpah? You MUST be kidding. They're so beautiful... so soft... So likely to laugh in my face, pat my head, and wander off with some jerk wearing a muscle T and/or bondage pants.

You get surrounded by a mob of women joggers and they all leer at you. They would just ignore me completely. I don't even get looked at from across the room. Well, I might be, but if so they're more subtle than a brick. Everytime I try to read subtle, I end up with the wrong idea and slapped. (Middle of a hug... she's got her hand where!? Well, then, I'll just match location and placement and... *SLAP*)

Yeah... And people wonder why I'm waiting for someone to approach me.

And let this be a lesson to you. Offer free psychiatric battery aid, and you'll hear me complain for hours.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

They're as scared and nervous as you are; the liklihood of them laughing at you for having a bit of confidence is pretty slim - and lets face it, that is the very worst that is going to happen (unless whe's a German girl called Birgit, in which case I suggest you make for th ehills, pronto.)

And the hug thing? Learn that means don't put your hand there *right now*, but it's an invitation to do so later, assuming you do well. It's an 'come hither', not a 'grab this', leting you know that you might have some work to do, but the opportunity is there...

More on this:

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

They're so beautiful... so soft...

Yes, and that's why the effort is worth it.
Three words: Confidence, Enthusiasm, Humour. THey are your friends.