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Supersize Me
Sep. 12th, 2004 07:51 pmA year or so ago, I found myself alone in a hotel room with a strange man who was getting changed. I’m not going into how this came about (suffice to say this sort of thing just seems to happen to me), and as the sight of naked man-flesh is abhorrent to me at the best of times I was trying to look anywhere but at him. Difficult to do as the hotel room was small and he was most assuredly not.
It was with an air of mystified chagrin that he told me, as he whipped off his trousers to reveal hindquarters of a pasty luminescence and acreage undreamed of since the night HP Lovecraft ate a whole pound of Camembert, that the lady upon whom he’d set his affections for some reason didn’t want to have sex with him.
As his belly hoved into view the blood fled from my brain and my genitals to my arms and legs as the fight or flight reaction kicked in, in case he decided he wanted to devour me upon the spot. Finally pulling on his clean trousers and heaving them up so the belt buckle sat neatly on top of his gut, he turned to me. “So”, he said. “Wanna go and get something to eat?”
I was reminded of this earlier today when I found myself at a loose end and so in a cinema watching Supersize Me, the tale of one man’s attempt to eat nothing but McDonalds product for an entire month without dying in the process. It’s a harder task than you might assume.
There aren’t many laughs in the film - the biggest chuckle from the audience was at the McDonalds advert screened directly before screening which was an attempt to make themselves look caring and sensitive and concerned about the content (You know, “We’re interested in your comments and thoughts about this film, and please ignore the bit about two thirds in where the bloke’s cock stops working”, that sort of thing).
It starts innocently enough, with a brief background on just Why the subject (Spurgeon) is going to eat nothing but McDonalds for a month, and a selection of medical professionals being wheeled on to pronounce him very, very fit indeed, and to say that they think, during the course of the experiment, he might put on a bit of weight and perhaps feel a bit under the weather.
Naturally, it doesn’t work out like that – within the month, Spurgeon has gained 25lbs, his liver has turned to “fat pate”, he’s suffering from what are plainly addictive cravings, he’s lost muscle mass, he’s getting heart palpitations and, oh yes, his cock has stopped working (this made quite an impression on me, can you tell?). The same medical professionals are wheeled on again to say in increasingly anguished tomes “You’re going to die! What’s happened to your body is obscene!”, and Spurgeon’s vegan girlfriend pops up once or twice initially bemused, and later obviously horrified and distressed at what he is doing to himself.
Yes, it’s propaganda, but it lacks the smug proselytizing of Michael Moore and not once do you want to take Spurgeon outside and punch him repeatedly (another difference to Moore). That said, it's not a film for the squamish. I won’t look away when Leatherface chops up another teenager with a chainsaw, but I will look away when a doctor is telling someone to change their diet – immediately – or risk sudden, imminent death.
A few years ago during the ‘McLibel’ case, McDonalds nutritional experts were forced to concede that the use of the word ‘nutritious’ in their advertising meant nothing more than ‘contains nutrients’. After watching this film, you may not even be convinced they do that.
It was with an air of mystified chagrin that he told me, as he whipped off his trousers to reveal hindquarters of a pasty luminescence and acreage undreamed of since the night HP Lovecraft ate a whole pound of Camembert, that the lady upon whom he’d set his affections for some reason didn’t want to have sex with him.
As his belly hoved into view the blood fled from my brain and my genitals to my arms and legs as the fight or flight reaction kicked in, in case he decided he wanted to devour me upon the spot. Finally pulling on his clean trousers and heaving them up so the belt buckle sat neatly on top of his gut, he turned to me. “So”, he said. “Wanna go and get something to eat?”
I was reminded of this earlier today when I found myself at a loose end and so in a cinema watching Supersize Me, the tale of one man’s attempt to eat nothing but McDonalds product for an entire month without dying in the process. It’s a harder task than you might assume.
There aren’t many laughs in the film - the biggest chuckle from the audience was at the McDonalds advert screened directly before screening which was an attempt to make themselves look caring and sensitive and concerned about the content (You know, “We’re interested in your comments and thoughts about this film, and please ignore the bit about two thirds in where the bloke’s cock stops working”, that sort of thing).
It starts innocently enough, with a brief background on just Why the subject (Spurgeon) is going to eat nothing but McDonalds for a month, and a selection of medical professionals being wheeled on to pronounce him very, very fit indeed, and to say that they think, during the course of the experiment, he might put on a bit of weight and perhaps feel a bit under the weather.
Naturally, it doesn’t work out like that – within the month, Spurgeon has gained 25lbs, his liver has turned to “fat pate”, he’s suffering from what are plainly addictive cravings, he’s lost muscle mass, he’s getting heart palpitations and, oh yes, his cock has stopped working (this made quite an impression on me, can you tell?). The same medical professionals are wheeled on again to say in increasingly anguished tomes “You’re going to die! What’s happened to your body is obscene!”, and Spurgeon’s vegan girlfriend pops up once or twice initially bemused, and later obviously horrified and distressed at what he is doing to himself.
Yes, it’s propaganda, but it lacks the smug proselytizing of Michael Moore and not once do you want to take Spurgeon outside and punch him repeatedly (another difference to Moore). That said, it's not a film for the squamish. I won’t look away when Leatherface chops up another teenager with a chainsaw, but I will look away when a doctor is telling someone to change their diet – immediately – or risk sudden, imminent death.
A few years ago during the ‘McLibel’ case, McDonalds nutritional experts were forced to concede that the use of the word ‘nutritious’ in their advertising meant nothing more than ‘contains nutrients’. After watching this film, you may not even be convinced they do that.
