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National Animals
Oct. 6th, 2006 09:07 amWith the London 2012 Olympics on the way, I suppose that soon enough we'll start seeing suggestions for the London Olympic mascot. In line with modern touchy-feely inclusiveness, I suspect that this will involve lots of competitions involving Ken Livingstone hanging out with photogenic grinning schoolchildren waving their scrawled crayon daubs before the design-agency created figure which was going to win all along is dramtically unveiled.
Olympic mascots are usually based upon the National Animals of the host nation, and so we've had Miska, the world's gayest bear, for the Russian Olympics, or Sam the Eagle for the Los Angeles Olympics. I rather hope that the London 2012 Olympics will use a bulldog, possibly in boxing kit standing over a bloodied and beaten cockerel.
Most nations have their 'National Animal' - usually one which they feel reflects the most striking aspects of their country, so The US has the Eagle, China the Dragon, India the Tiger, Italy the Possum, and so on. England, being the very best nation, has two animals, the Bulldog and the Lion. Despite the world having moved on from days of Imperial glory, these remain appropriate. The Bulldog is a dribbling, friendly animal which will occasionally get cross and take your hand off or crap on your carpet for no apparent reason, whilst the lion looks majestic and proud, but in reality it prefers to lie about all day and wait for the women to get it dinner.
But what about other National Animals?
Dragon (China): Rapacious and ruthless, the Dragon has no qualms about devouring its own peasants in order to gather a huge pile of riches to gloat over.
Bald Eagle (USA): The exemplar of nobility, bravery and justice, it is little surprise that the Bald Eagle is critically endangered and has flirted with extinction several times.
Cockerel (France): Strutting and preening, the cockerel has a 2-minute memory and remains witlessly belligerent regardless of the number of previous defeats.
The Red Hand of Ulster (Unionist Ireland): A scuttling monstrostity like Thing from the Addams family, the red hand brings purposeless terror to any innocents it encounters.
This did get me wondering what would be an appropriate Animal for the European union as it heads further towards unified statehood. A Chimera, perhaps? A Hydra, where every severed neck immediately springs forth two new twisting, coiling heads? Then it struck me:
Frankensteins monster (EU): Stitched together from incompatible parts, the monster lumbers brainlessly about commiting atrocities wherever it steps as it is incapable of judging right from wrong.
Any that you can think of?
Olympic mascots are usually based upon the National Animals of the host nation, and so we've had Miska, the world's gayest bear, for the Russian Olympics, or Sam the Eagle for the Los Angeles Olympics. I rather hope that the London 2012 Olympics will use a bulldog, possibly in boxing kit standing over a bloodied and beaten cockerel.
Most nations have their 'National Animal' - usually one which they feel reflects the most striking aspects of their country, so The US has the Eagle, China the Dragon, India the Tiger, Italy the Possum, and so on. England, being the very best nation, has two animals, the Bulldog and the Lion. Despite the world having moved on from days of Imperial glory, these remain appropriate. The Bulldog is a dribbling, friendly animal which will occasionally get cross and take your hand off or crap on your carpet for no apparent reason, whilst the lion looks majestic and proud, but in reality it prefers to lie about all day and wait for the women to get it dinner.
But what about other National Animals?
Dragon (China): Rapacious and ruthless, the Dragon has no qualms about devouring its own peasants in order to gather a huge pile of riches to gloat over.
Bald Eagle (USA): The exemplar of nobility, bravery and justice, it is little surprise that the Bald Eagle is critically endangered and has flirted with extinction several times.
Cockerel (France): Strutting and preening, the cockerel has a 2-minute memory and remains witlessly belligerent regardless of the number of previous defeats.
The Red Hand of Ulster (Unionist Ireland): A scuttling monstrostity like Thing from the Addams family, the red hand brings purposeless terror to any innocents it encounters.
This did get me wondering what would be an appropriate Animal for the European union as it heads further towards unified statehood. A Chimera, perhaps? A Hydra, where every severed neck immediately springs forth two new twisting, coiling heads? Then it struck me:
Frankensteins monster (EU): Stitched together from incompatible parts, the monster lumbers brainlessly about commiting atrocities wherever it steps as it is incapable of judging right from wrong.
Any that you can think of?
